Sometimes I SWEAR I am on Candid Camera! I just got a call from the school. It wasn't to tell me one of my kids felt ill and needed to come home, it wasn't Mason asking me to bring in her math book she forgot, and it wasn't the cafeteria letting me know the kids lunch money was low. No, it wasn't any of these normal, run-of-the-mill kinds of phone calls every parent gets now and then. It was the behavior specialist calling about, you guessed it, Camryn and how because her pinching and scratching has gotten out of hand and all attempts to curb this behavior have failed they have decided that from now on Camryn will have to wear gloves at school! I didn't know whether to burst out laughing or crying! Gloves? GLOVES?!
Now I have to admit, Brad and I have pondered this solution as well. But we have never taken this approach because we figured all she would do is take them off anyway. We even joked about getting her boxing gloves that lace up, but figured that could present a whole other array of problems. And Mason suggested handcuffs,seriously thinking in her nine year old mind that she had come up with a way to solve this problem. We are perfectly aware that her five fingered assaults are on the rise and we have the scabs to prove it. And we also knew that she was doing this at school, but have had no idea how to stop it.
I have had to call the office several times to let them know that Camryn needs an adult waiting for her as soon as I pull into the car circle in the morning because the safety patrols are getting attacked when they open the door to let Cam out. And despite the abuse, they all fight over which patrol gets to walk Camryn to class, as they can't help but love her, even if she leaves them bloody and wounded. And while I think it's great to see other kids accepting and loving my daughter, as a mother, if that were my patrol coming home with scratches, I wouldn't care if the kid was autistic or not, I wouldn't want my child in charge of walking her anywhere. And then, once Cam gets in her classroom, her classmates run for their lives. She has gotten them all, but has taken a liking (or maybe disliking) to one little guy in particular and pinches and scratches the heck out of him. Thank God his mother understands the obvious situation, but her son deserves to go to school and be in a safe environment and if you are in a class with Cam, there is nothing safe about it!
So, like I said, I have called the school several times to discuss this issue and FINALLY a woman from the office is coming to meet Camryn in the morning and walk her to class. BUT, in the afternoon, it's a different story. Up until now, the way dismissal has been handled is Mason leaves class five minutes earlier than her classmates and walks to Cams room. She waits there with Cams and listens to Cams classmates tell her how her sister hurts them until the bell rings and then walks Cam to the car circle, where they wait with the other kids. For the most part, I guess you could say Camryn has done well. She has been pinching and scratching but, and I know this sounds horrible, at least they are fifth graders and not as vulnerable as the little guys. However, she did get a little kindergartner a few weeks back, hooking the side of her mouth with her finger. She steals other kids food if they happen to have crackers or something while they wait, but again, nothing horrible. Lately though it has been getting worse and if that isn't bad enough, the worst thing is that when she sees me pull up, because she has no sense of danger, she runs into the parking lot towards our car with only Mason to hold her back, which may as well be a feather tied to a lead balloon. I was so upset at the latest incident of this and let the school know again an adult MUST be with Camryn at all times when she is outside.
So, we got that straightened out and the girls were sitting away from the other kids at pick up time, close enough where Mason could still talk to her friends, but far enough away that other kids weren't within Cams reach. Well, when I got the phone call about the gloves, I was also told that dismissal was going to be handled differently with Cam as well. Instead of Mace picking Cams up and taking her to car circle, now Mace picks Cam up and they walk to the front office and wait in the conference room till Mace sees me pull in and they walk out to the car. I felt so bad for Mason when I heard this because car circle is a social time for her and she enjoyed sitting out with her friends talking till I came. Even though Cams caused problems that Mason was unfortunately left to handle, she liked being outside. Now she is forced to be different AGAIN and wait alone with Camryn. She told me yesterday that Camryn discovered the school phone in the conference room and ran over and was trying to use it until Mason wrangled it out of her hands. Although the office staff is right outside the door, Mason is still basically in charge of Camryn and it makes me so mad. Mace says she wishes she were back outside, but she will do whatever works for Cam. But it's not her problem and I plan on letting the school know that we need to come up with another plan, a plan that would have to be put in place if Camryn didn't have a regular ed sibling at school. If Mason wasn't there, then what? Unfortunatley, kids like Mace, brothers and sisters of special needs kids, often end up taking the role of an adult when they are still little themselves. I realize that in some respect, Mason will never totally be able to escape this responsibility, as this is the hand she has been dealt. And she handles it with such maturity and grace most of the time. But she is a little girl, with her own friends, her own ideas and agendas and I don't want her sisters Autism to overshadow thoses things.
I have a meeting with the school tomorrow, and I will be addressing this situation. But for today, I guess I will wait and see how the gloves thing is working out. Everytime the phone rings, I am sure it is the school calling to let me know the gloves aren't staying on and Cam will be getting fitted for a straight jacket. And if they do I will tell them to wait for me to be there, not so I can hold my daughters hand, but so I can get fitted for one too!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Welcome to our Spooky House
I haven't posted in a while as this month has been crazy! Halloween is Mason's favorite time of year and we always try to make it fun and memorable for her. This year she wanted to throw a Halloween party and had been planning it since last Christmas! Brad decorated the back yard like a spooky graveyard with lit up skulls and personalized tombstones. He strung caution tape along the fence and swingset and covered the trees in spiderwebs. He even built a "haunted tunnel" out of a black tarp spread over the clothesline and a fog machine. I was in charge of the inside decor, stringing cobwebs and adorning the doorways with tinsel pumpkin garland. I hung cutouts of witches and skeletons, lined the front walkway with mini ghost stakes and played a CD of seriously spooky sounds. It was a total success from the green "swamp juice" punch with floating gummy eyeballs to the pin the eye on the one eyed monster game. Although it was a little less grand than Mason had envisioned in her dreams, she was thrilled with the outcome and I was so happy that we were able to do this for her.
Raising kids with an autistic sibling presents certain problems that a typical family setting does not encounter. And although we try our hardest, I consantly feel guilty that most of what we do on a daily basis revolves around Camryn,which is why we wanted to have this party for Mason because it didn't have anything to do with Camryn or about Camryn or anything Autistic at all. And for children who deal with Autism 24-7, times like this are so, so necessary.
So we had the party, the weekend came to an end and Monday was back to reality, even though we never really left it in the first place.I was so happy to get the kids back in school because although the party turned out so well, the preparation nearly killed us,not because it was so much work, but because it was so much work to do while also taking care of Camryn. We couldn't keep her in her room all day while we set up, so we would let her out to play in the backyard while Brad was putting the tunnel together. But she wasn't out there two seconds and she was pulling skull stakes out of the ground, picking the spiderweb off the trees, just basically undoing everything he had just done. He'd send her inside and it wasn't any better. Same thing, ripping things off the wall, throwing decorations on the floor. Mason was frustrated beyond belief which made her scream at Camryn, who then responded by scratching Mason, who then responded by hitting Camryn, which I then responded by putting them both in their rooms. So then while I'm running around like a maniac trying to get everything done, Camryn is in her room screaming at the top of her lungs, biting herself, yelling out" Get-In-Your-Room-Right-Now-Honey!!!!"Things are coming flying over the gate, first small items like books and stuffed animals, then larger flying missiles like a heavy plastic magna-doodle and at one point a handmade wooden rocking chair, which thank god survived it's collision with the hardwood floor. All this time, I am stringing garland, humming to try and drown it out and laughing to myself at the sick, sick humor of the situation. In the midst of all this, sweet, snot nosed, seal coughing, under the weather Natalie walks past Camryns room to go to the bathroom and Camryn reaches out past her gate and grabs Natalie by the hair, pulling her to the ground. Naturally Nat starts screaming, which sets Cam off even more and she is trying to scratch Natalie, I am yelling at Camryn, trying to soothe Natalie, and listening to Mason wail about how the house is never going to be done in time for her party. I told her people could show up right then and would be scared out of their minds, and it would have nothing to do with the decorations! She did not see the humor. By this time we had about three hours till the party and I was at my wits end of what to do with Camryn. I called my Dad in desperation and begged him to come get Camryn and take her for a ride, which he did. Because Camryn is so unpredictable in public, my family is,shall I say "concerned" with taking her places. And rightly so! I shudder at the thought of taking her within arms reach of other kids and small animals, but I have to. So, instead of putting the locals in harms way, my Dad takes Camryn for long drives, as Camryn is all about the pressure of a taut seatbelt and the lulling vibration of a moving car. She sits up front with my Dad, makes him turn the music up loud, pulls down the visor,opens up the lighted mirror and watches herself open and close her mouth and move her tongue around while my Dad drives. They usually go for about 40 minutes or so and end up at Steak and Shake for a drive thru treat. There is not much conversation, which is no surprise, but the time is treasured by both and is worth it's weight in gold, silver and any other precious jewel or metal to me! While they were gone, I used the time to frost ghost cupcakes and help Mason make beanbags. It wasn't long,but we all were so thankful for any reprieve of screaming and abuse.
We somehow managed to get everything in place. Mason dressed up like a witch girl, Natalie wore her Halloween shirt and Cams wore Masons zebra bodysuit from last Halloween. She liked it because it was velvety and snug. Although it was black and white striped, Camryn kept saying " I wanna wear the ba-cheetah!"
The guests arrived and there were plenty of people to help amuse Camryn while Mason took the limelight and hosted her party like a pro. The last guests left at 12:30 and by that time we were exhausted. The house we had worked so hard to clean was trashed and the food I took so much time to prepare was scattered around on skull patterned plates.
Because Cam was up way past her bedtime and so hyped up she had a very hard time going to sleep. While Mason and Nat crashed in their beds, Cam would come to her gate screaming every two minutes, yelling "I need help". Brad or I would lay her back down, and withing minutes we would hear the crinkle of her beanfilled weighted blanket being thrown off her and feet pounding towards the door. Finally after about five tuck-in sessions she went to sleep. I felt so bad because I knew she was off her schedule and routine, but she couldn't communicate that to me in words and I couldn't communicate to her that she needed to stay in bed.
Sunday morning the kids woke up at of course 7:30! Brad and I were dead tired and looked as though we had dressed as zombies the night before and still had our makeup on. Mason was already planning her party for next year, talking non-stop about some changes she would like to make and how to improve on some things! Nat was still recovering from her cold and sat like a soft stone on the couch. And Camryn was Camryn. Grimacing, running like a five legged bull through the house,sticking her finger in the dogs wet nostrils and pinching the poor things back saying "Riley eats meat food. She wants cube-cubes". I just took a look around at the mess and the chaos and thought to myself, "I can't believe we thought we needed to decorate to make this place look scary!"
Raising kids with an autistic sibling presents certain problems that a typical family setting does not encounter. And although we try our hardest, I consantly feel guilty that most of what we do on a daily basis revolves around Camryn,which is why we wanted to have this party for Mason because it didn't have anything to do with Camryn or about Camryn or anything Autistic at all. And for children who deal with Autism 24-7, times like this are so, so necessary.
So we had the party, the weekend came to an end and Monday was back to reality, even though we never really left it in the first place.I was so happy to get the kids back in school because although the party turned out so well, the preparation nearly killed us,not because it was so much work, but because it was so much work to do while also taking care of Camryn. We couldn't keep her in her room all day while we set up, so we would let her out to play in the backyard while Brad was putting the tunnel together. But she wasn't out there two seconds and she was pulling skull stakes out of the ground, picking the spiderweb off the trees, just basically undoing everything he had just done. He'd send her inside and it wasn't any better. Same thing, ripping things off the wall, throwing decorations on the floor. Mason was frustrated beyond belief which made her scream at Camryn, who then responded by scratching Mason, who then responded by hitting Camryn, which I then responded by putting them both in their rooms. So then while I'm running around like a maniac trying to get everything done, Camryn is in her room screaming at the top of her lungs, biting herself, yelling out" Get-In-Your-Room-Right-Now-Honey!!!!"Things are coming flying over the gate, first small items like books and stuffed animals, then larger flying missiles like a heavy plastic magna-doodle and at one point a handmade wooden rocking chair, which thank god survived it's collision with the hardwood floor. All this time, I am stringing garland, humming to try and drown it out and laughing to myself at the sick, sick humor of the situation. In the midst of all this, sweet, snot nosed, seal coughing, under the weather Natalie walks past Camryns room to go to the bathroom and Camryn reaches out past her gate and grabs Natalie by the hair, pulling her to the ground. Naturally Nat starts screaming, which sets Cam off even more and she is trying to scratch Natalie, I am yelling at Camryn, trying to soothe Natalie, and listening to Mason wail about how the house is never going to be done in time for her party. I told her people could show up right then and would be scared out of their minds, and it would have nothing to do with the decorations! She did not see the humor. By this time we had about three hours till the party and I was at my wits end of what to do with Camryn. I called my Dad in desperation and begged him to come get Camryn and take her for a ride, which he did. Because Camryn is so unpredictable in public, my family is,shall I say "concerned" with taking her places. And rightly so! I shudder at the thought of taking her within arms reach of other kids and small animals, but I have to. So, instead of putting the locals in harms way, my Dad takes Camryn for long drives, as Camryn is all about the pressure of a taut seatbelt and the lulling vibration of a moving car. She sits up front with my Dad, makes him turn the music up loud, pulls down the visor,opens up the lighted mirror and watches herself open and close her mouth and move her tongue around while my Dad drives. They usually go for about 40 minutes or so and end up at Steak and Shake for a drive thru treat. There is not much conversation, which is no surprise, but the time is treasured by both and is worth it's weight in gold, silver and any other precious jewel or metal to me! While they were gone, I used the time to frost ghost cupcakes and help Mason make beanbags. It wasn't long,but we all were so thankful for any reprieve of screaming and abuse.
We somehow managed to get everything in place. Mason dressed up like a witch girl, Natalie wore her Halloween shirt and Cams wore Masons zebra bodysuit from last Halloween. She liked it because it was velvety and snug. Although it was black and white striped, Camryn kept saying " I wanna wear the ba-cheetah!"
The guests arrived and there were plenty of people to help amuse Camryn while Mason took the limelight and hosted her party like a pro. The last guests left at 12:30 and by that time we were exhausted. The house we had worked so hard to clean was trashed and the food I took so much time to prepare was scattered around on skull patterned plates.
Because Cam was up way past her bedtime and so hyped up she had a very hard time going to sleep. While Mason and Nat crashed in their beds, Cam would come to her gate screaming every two minutes, yelling "I need help". Brad or I would lay her back down, and withing minutes we would hear the crinkle of her beanfilled weighted blanket being thrown off her and feet pounding towards the door. Finally after about five tuck-in sessions she went to sleep. I felt so bad because I knew she was off her schedule and routine, but she couldn't communicate that to me in words and I couldn't communicate to her that she needed to stay in bed.
Sunday morning the kids woke up at of course 7:30! Brad and I were dead tired and looked as though we had dressed as zombies the night before and still had our makeup on. Mason was already planning her party for next year, talking non-stop about some changes she would like to make and how to improve on some things! Nat was still recovering from her cold and sat like a soft stone on the couch. And Camryn was Camryn. Grimacing, running like a five legged bull through the house,sticking her finger in the dogs wet nostrils and pinching the poor things back saying "Riley eats meat food. She wants cube-cubes". I just took a look around at the mess and the chaos and thought to myself, "I can't believe we thought we needed to decorate to make this place look scary!"
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Can you say "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!"
So, last week Cams and I drove south and this week we drove north in our ever-continuing search of specialized treamtent. This time it was an appointment with a pediatric dentist for children with special needs. Our lovely insurance company (smooch smooch guys) gave me a wide array of two dentists to pick from. One way out in Timbuktu and one even more way out in Timbuktu. I chose the latter, not because of my love for driving, but for the fact that they provided sedation if necessary and I felt positive that sedation would be necessary for Cams and possibly for me as well.
So, 7:30 a.m. we got in the old Suburban and headed up to New Port Richey, a city about an hour north of St. Pete. We had an 8:30 appt and leaving only an hour for travel during morning rush hour was risky, but I am known for having a slightly heavy foot and just as I had hoped, we rolled in the parking lot at 8:35. The office was totally set up for kids, with four plexi-glass encased televisions equipped with Nintendo handsets and a wall lined with colorful childrens books to amuse the nervously waiting kids. And it did, as there were several of them furiously pushing buttons and jerking joysticks, and a few stretched out on beanbags thumbing through kids magazines, which of course meant Camryn and I would be sitting on the other not so fun end of the office next to the bathrooms and water fountain, clear of any child not old enough or big enough to physically defend themselves against Cambo (as I affectionately refer to her in these times). Now anybody who has ever been to a medical/dental appointment of any kind knows that the appointment time is never, ever the time you will actually be seen and that to get a more accurate idea of your actual meeting with the doctor you should tack on at least a good thirty minutes in the waiting room ,then an additional ten minutes of waiting in the exam room. I knew this and figured Cams and I would be sitting by that water fountain for quite a while. I did not however foresee issues with the insurance company that I had just spoken with days earlier to confirm this very appointment, yet there they were...insurance issues. And because it was 8:45 and the insurance company did not open until 9:00 I would have to self pay or reschedule. Reschedule? Ummmmm, no, that will not be happening. Unlike my drive down south on open highway, this drive was mostly on U.S. 19 which if you live locally then you know it as the road from hell, plus I had to keep Camryn out of school for the whole day for this appointment, so there is no way I was going to do this again anytime soon. I self paid, got a receipt which I will be submitting for reimbursement and then took Cams back to get her "sedation". Now, when I think of sedation, I think of sedated as in not moving, as in asleep with an I.V. in your arm. Camryn has never been able to be examined by a dentist EVER because she will not let you in to see those chompers of hers unless you plan on leaving them in there permanently, like bitten off permanently. Brad and I have struggled her entire enameled life to get in there and give her teeth some sort of chance of survival, but if the girl doesn't want you in her mouth, then you're not getting in her mouth...end of story. With Mason and Natalie, brushing morning and night has always been the routine. But with Cam, I am gonna be honest here and say that there have been days that her teeth didn't see a bristle of any means and I just prayed that crunchy raw carrots or super crisp apples would be on the school lunch menu to pick up the slack and slough off some tartar. I have taken her to two "regular" dentists whom I forewarned about Camryn before setting the appointment and it was always the same response.."Oh you never know, we may be able to do the exam" and I just thought, "Oh no, I know, but whatever you say...". Cams insurance requires she be seen by a regular dentist who must then try to do a regular exam until they come to the conclusion that Camryn's mother was right when she said that a regular exam was not going to happen at which point a referral to a pediatric dentist with an option of sedation would be written and all staff involved in the attempted regular exam would then take a five minute break to wipe the sweat off their brows and redo their hair. I told you so.
So, here we were at the sedation dentistry office finally and the hygienist walks over with a paper cup that she is stirring some sort of mixture in. I secretly hoped it was a cocktail for me, but of course it wasn't. "Here Camryn, here is some cake icing! Do you like cake icing? Yummy!" She then explained to me that this was no ordinary cake icing, but cake icing with crushed up Valium mixed in! I'm not sure this is what Betty Crocker had in mind, but Betty, you really should have. What a fabulous concoction! Unfortunately, I would be having none of it, but Ms Cams, she would be having several spoonfulls before she took a little nappy-nap. I've never had a dentist appointment like this! The hygienist said that we had to wait an hour for the Valium to take full effect, so in the meantime we would wait in the "Sedation Room", a darkened exam room with a leather couch, a blanket and a Disney movie. And coffee, please say coffee...but she didn't. She said that Camryn would get sleepy and could go to sleep if she wanted, most kids do. Okay, but Cams is not most kids and I immediately thought back to the time she got an ABR test for hearing when she was a year and a half. The nurse administered a liquid that was supposed to make Camryn go to sleep for an hour. But forty-five minutes and an extra dose later, the nurse was in shock that Cams was still awake and we had to do the test with me holding her still. So when this girl told me most kids went to sleep, I knew Cams and the sandman would not be hanging out that morning. It was 9:08 at this time and we would stay in the room until 10:08. It was so dark and the air was so cold and the blanket was so warm and fuzzy and the couch was so comfy. My eyes started to droop and I wondered how I would ever stay awake after getting up with the sun to drive all the way up here and then just sit here with my drugged up daughter who was showing no signs of getting sleepy at all. I managed to stay conscious till 10:08 and of course so did Cams. Just as I thought. The hygienist came to get us and we walked back to the exam room. Cams crawled up into the big chair and then shoved white tiger in the hygienists face and demanded that she smell him and then smell him again and then again. After she had sniffed him up and down, she gave the tiger back to Cam and put the big heavy lead apron over Cams body so she could take X-rays. Perfect! Cams loves "weighted" things, such as blankets and vests. They are often used in therapy and at bedtime, as the pressure of the extra weight makes kids like Cam feel good. Every night when I tuck Camryn in, I cover her with a sheet, a comforter and then top her off with a three pound weighted patchwork quilt. So, beneath the pressure of the lead apron, Cams was laying reasonably still. I was given the job of pressing the X-ray button just outside the exam room when I got the okay from the hygienist, who was going to be trying her darndest to hold Cams head still long enough to get a picture. Even with a Valium circulating through her system, Cams was wide awake and very mobile. I doubted I would be pushing any buttons that day and was completely caught off guard when I heard "Okay Mom, push the button". The hygienist had gotten Cam to hold still long enough to get an X-ray! "Okay Camryn, bite down on this again." Ohhhhh I thought to myself, that's how this is going so well, Camryn is being told to bite!
We were able to get three X-rays total. Not as many as we needed but three more than we thought we'd get. So far so good. Then it came time for the cleaning. The hygienist took off the lead apron and started to hang it back up. I didn't want to tell her how to do her job, but was sure she wouldn't be against me trying to make it a little easier so I chimed in "You may want to leave that on her. The weight of it is helping her stay still." Without a seconds hesitation she draped it over Cams body again.
Then came the part I had been dreading. The part where my daughters underbrushed,rarely flossed,never fluoridated teeth would be on display for dental professionals to view in awe and disgust. The part where disapproving glances would surely be cast my way, heads shaking in disbelief that a parent would neglect their childs dental health in such a way. I wanted to shout out " But you don't understand!!! She doesn't let us get in there. And she's so strong! She kicks and bites and pushes us away! Please! Listen to me, you have to believe me!" As the hygienist looked my way and opened her mouth to speak, I scrunched up in my chair and braced myself for the worst. Okay, bring it on, lay it on me,scold me, lecture me, belittle me. "Well, her teeth look great!"
Her teeth look great? Look great???? HER TEETH LOOK GREAT??????
"You have GOT to be kidding me!" She shook her head. "No, they look good! It may be a battle, but you're winning it." Winning it? We hardly even get the chance to fight it! I was in complete shock! There was my daughter, laying in a dental chair, having her rarely really brushed good teeth examined for the first time in seven years, valium swimming through her veins and the hygienist is telling me all looks good? Did I take some acid this morning and forget about it? This was just too freakin' weird!
The hygienist looked at me and said "Let me ask you something....is she Down's?" I could not believe she just asked me this because you may remember from my previous post that Brad and I have suspected Camryn could have a mild form of Down Syndrome and are having her tested. "Why do you ask that? Does she look Down's to you?" The hygienist explained that children with Down Syndrome rarely get cavities due to the excess of saliva they produce and possibly something in the acidic make-up of their saliva as well. She thought Camryn had a mild look and was wondering if that was why, in spite of our inability to clean her teeth well, her oral health was good. I told her how we were getting her tested and how funny that was that she would have asked that. I also told her that Down's or not, Camryn definitely had an excess of saliva, which I'm sure has something to with the hypotonia, or low tone, of her mouth. Whatever the reason, praise Jesus!!! I really was not looking forward to driving all the way back up here for another cup of icing and a mouth full of metal. Still in shock, I thanked the hygienist and the dentist who had also made his way into the exam. I was given instructions to watch Cams the rest of the day, as the Valium would still be in her system for several hours. No running, no stair climbing and no riding a bike. Okay, no problem, especially seeing as Cams doesn't ride a bike on non-Valium days either! I scheduled her a for a six month checkup before we left and then Cams and I climbed in the car. No cavities, nooooo cavities! I just couldn't believe the girl known to suck on three balls of sugar on a stick ( or Tootsie-pops as they are more formally known) at one time had just been given a clean bill of oral health by the dentist! Will wonders never cease?
The rest of the day, Cams was Cams. I don't know where that Valium went or what it was supposed to be doing, but it certainly wasn't affecting Miss Camryn. Of course, everyone we know was awating word of how bad the news was. How many cavities, root canals, etc. And of course they were as shocked as I was to hear the reults.
I would love to end this entry on a positive note, however I feel it would not be complete without the following information. The same week I took Camryn to the dentist, I also took Natalie for her first dental exam. Natalie, four year old, I brush my teeth twice a day, Natalie. I sat in the waiting room as the hygienist took her back without a care in the world. I even read the paper and a gossip magazine to pass the time. When the dentist peeked out and called me back to let me know how it went, I yawned as I walked through the door. "Okay so how did it go?" I asked, ready to schedule her next check up and get on with my day.
The dentist opened up Nat's chart and pointed to a print-out of her mouth. "Well, unfortunately Natalie is going to need some fillings. She has five cavities." I swallowed hard, put my eyes back in my head and thought to myself "Okay wow, I am going to need some icing!"
So, 7:30 a.m. we got in the old Suburban and headed up to New Port Richey, a city about an hour north of St. Pete. We had an 8:30 appt and leaving only an hour for travel during morning rush hour was risky, but I am known for having a slightly heavy foot and just as I had hoped, we rolled in the parking lot at 8:35. The office was totally set up for kids, with four plexi-glass encased televisions equipped with Nintendo handsets and a wall lined with colorful childrens books to amuse the nervously waiting kids. And it did, as there were several of them furiously pushing buttons and jerking joysticks, and a few stretched out on beanbags thumbing through kids magazines, which of course meant Camryn and I would be sitting on the other not so fun end of the office next to the bathrooms and water fountain, clear of any child not old enough or big enough to physically defend themselves against Cambo (as I affectionately refer to her in these times). Now anybody who has ever been to a medical/dental appointment of any kind knows that the appointment time is never, ever the time you will actually be seen and that to get a more accurate idea of your actual meeting with the doctor you should tack on at least a good thirty minutes in the waiting room ,then an additional ten minutes of waiting in the exam room. I knew this and figured Cams and I would be sitting by that water fountain for quite a while. I did not however foresee issues with the insurance company that I had just spoken with days earlier to confirm this very appointment, yet there they were...insurance issues. And because it was 8:45 and the insurance company did not open until 9:00 I would have to self pay or reschedule. Reschedule? Ummmmm, no, that will not be happening. Unlike my drive down south on open highway, this drive was mostly on U.S. 19 which if you live locally then you know it as the road from hell, plus I had to keep Camryn out of school for the whole day for this appointment, so there is no way I was going to do this again anytime soon. I self paid, got a receipt which I will be submitting for reimbursement and then took Cams back to get her "sedation". Now, when I think of sedation, I think of sedated as in not moving, as in asleep with an I.V. in your arm. Camryn has never been able to be examined by a dentist EVER because she will not let you in to see those chompers of hers unless you plan on leaving them in there permanently, like bitten off permanently. Brad and I have struggled her entire enameled life to get in there and give her teeth some sort of chance of survival, but if the girl doesn't want you in her mouth, then you're not getting in her mouth...end of story. With Mason and Natalie, brushing morning and night has always been the routine. But with Cam, I am gonna be honest here and say that there have been days that her teeth didn't see a bristle of any means and I just prayed that crunchy raw carrots or super crisp apples would be on the school lunch menu to pick up the slack and slough off some tartar. I have taken her to two "regular" dentists whom I forewarned about Camryn before setting the appointment and it was always the same response.."Oh you never know, we may be able to do the exam" and I just thought, "Oh no, I know, but whatever you say...". Cams insurance requires she be seen by a regular dentist who must then try to do a regular exam until they come to the conclusion that Camryn's mother was right when she said that a regular exam was not going to happen at which point a referral to a pediatric dentist with an option of sedation would be written and all staff involved in the attempted regular exam would then take a five minute break to wipe the sweat off their brows and redo their hair. I told you so.
So, here we were at the sedation dentistry office finally and the hygienist walks over with a paper cup that she is stirring some sort of mixture in. I secretly hoped it was a cocktail for me, but of course it wasn't. "Here Camryn, here is some cake icing! Do you like cake icing? Yummy!" She then explained to me that this was no ordinary cake icing, but cake icing with crushed up Valium mixed in! I'm not sure this is what Betty Crocker had in mind, but Betty, you really should have. What a fabulous concoction! Unfortunately, I would be having none of it, but Ms Cams, she would be having several spoonfulls before she took a little nappy-nap. I've never had a dentist appointment like this! The hygienist said that we had to wait an hour for the Valium to take full effect, so in the meantime we would wait in the "Sedation Room", a darkened exam room with a leather couch, a blanket and a Disney movie. And coffee, please say coffee...but she didn't. She said that Camryn would get sleepy and could go to sleep if she wanted, most kids do. Okay, but Cams is not most kids and I immediately thought back to the time she got an ABR test for hearing when she was a year and a half. The nurse administered a liquid that was supposed to make Camryn go to sleep for an hour. But forty-five minutes and an extra dose later, the nurse was in shock that Cams was still awake and we had to do the test with me holding her still. So when this girl told me most kids went to sleep, I knew Cams and the sandman would not be hanging out that morning. It was 9:08 at this time and we would stay in the room until 10:08. It was so dark and the air was so cold and the blanket was so warm and fuzzy and the couch was so comfy. My eyes started to droop and I wondered how I would ever stay awake after getting up with the sun to drive all the way up here and then just sit here with my drugged up daughter who was showing no signs of getting sleepy at all. I managed to stay conscious till 10:08 and of course so did Cams. Just as I thought. The hygienist came to get us and we walked back to the exam room. Cams crawled up into the big chair and then shoved white tiger in the hygienists face and demanded that she smell him and then smell him again and then again. After she had sniffed him up and down, she gave the tiger back to Cam and put the big heavy lead apron over Cams body so she could take X-rays. Perfect! Cams loves "weighted" things, such as blankets and vests. They are often used in therapy and at bedtime, as the pressure of the extra weight makes kids like Cam feel good. Every night when I tuck Camryn in, I cover her with a sheet, a comforter and then top her off with a three pound weighted patchwork quilt. So, beneath the pressure of the lead apron, Cams was laying reasonably still. I was given the job of pressing the X-ray button just outside the exam room when I got the okay from the hygienist, who was going to be trying her darndest to hold Cams head still long enough to get a picture. Even with a Valium circulating through her system, Cams was wide awake and very mobile. I doubted I would be pushing any buttons that day and was completely caught off guard when I heard "Okay Mom, push the button". The hygienist had gotten Cam to hold still long enough to get an X-ray! "Okay Camryn, bite down on this again." Ohhhhh I thought to myself, that's how this is going so well, Camryn is being told to bite!
We were able to get three X-rays total. Not as many as we needed but three more than we thought we'd get. So far so good. Then it came time for the cleaning. The hygienist took off the lead apron and started to hang it back up. I didn't want to tell her how to do her job, but was sure she wouldn't be against me trying to make it a little easier so I chimed in "You may want to leave that on her. The weight of it is helping her stay still." Without a seconds hesitation she draped it over Cams body again.
Then came the part I had been dreading. The part where my daughters underbrushed,rarely flossed,never fluoridated teeth would be on display for dental professionals to view in awe and disgust. The part where disapproving glances would surely be cast my way, heads shaking in disbelief that a parent would neglect their childs dental health in such a way. I wanted to shout out " But you don't understand!!! She doesn't let us get in there. And she's so strong! She kicks and bites and pushes us away! Please! Listen to me, you have to believe me!" As the hygienist looked my way and opened her mouth to speak, I scrunched up in my chair and braced myself for the worst. Okay, bring it on, lay it on me,scold me, lecture me, belittle me. "Well, her teeth look great!"
Her teeth look great? Look great???? HER TEETH LOOK GREAT??????
"You have GOT to be kidding me!" She shook her head. "No, they look good! It may be a battle, but you're winning it." Winning it? We hardly even get the chance to fight it! I was in complete shock! There was my daughter, laying in a dental chair, having her rarely really brushed good teeth examined for the first time in seven years, valium swimming through her veins and the hygienist is telling me all looks good? Did I take some acid this morning and forget about it? This was just too freakin' weird!
The hygienist looked at me and said "Let me ask you something....is she Down's?" I could not believe she just asked me this because you may remember from my previous post that Brad and I have suspected Camryn could have a mild form of Down Syndrome and are having her tested. "Why do you ask that? Does she look Down's to you?" The hygienist explained that children with Down Syndrome rarely get cavities due to the excess of saliva they produce and possibly something in the acidic make-up of their saliva as well. She thought Camryn had a mild look and was wondering if that was why, in spite of our inability to clean her teeth well, her oral health was good. I told her how we were getting her tested and how funny that was that she would have asked that. I also told her that Down's or not, Camryn definitely had an excess of saliva, which I'm sure has something to with the hypotonia, or low tone, of her mouth. Whatever the reason, praise Jesus!!! I really was not looking forward to driving all the way back up here for another cup of icing and a mouth full of metal. Still in shock, I thanked the hygienist and the dentist who had also made his way into the exam. I was given instructions to watch Cams the rest of the day, as the Valium would still be in her system for several hours. No running, no stair climbing and no riding a bike. Okay, no problem, especially seeing as Cams doesn't ride a bike on non-Valium days either! I scheduled her a for a six month checkup before we left and then Cams and I climbed in the car. No cavities, nooooo cavities! I just couldn't believe the girl known to suck on three balls of sugar on a stick ( or Tootsie-pops as they are more formally known) at one time had just been given a clean bill of oral health by the dentist! Will wonders never cease?
The rest of the day, Cams was Cams. I don't know where that Valium went or what it was supposed to be doing, but it certainly wasn't affecting Miss Camryn. Of course, everyone we know was awating word of how bad the news was. How many cavities, root canals, etc. And of course they were as shocked as I was to hear the reults.
I would love to end this entry on a positive note, however I feel it would not be complete without the following information. The same week I took Camryn to the dentist, I also took Natalie for her first dental exam. Natalie, four year old, I brush my teeth twice a day, Natalie. I sat in the waiting room as the hygienist took her back without a care in the world. I even read the paper and a gossip magazine to pass the time. When the dentist peeked out and called me back to let me know how it went, I yawned as I walked through the door. "Okay so how did it go?" I asked, ready to schedule her next check up and get on with my day.
The dentist opened up Nat's chart and pointed to a print-out of her mouth. "Well, unfortunately Natalie is going to need some fillings. She has five cavities." I swallowed hard, put my eyes back in my head and thought to myself "Okay wow, I am going to need some icing!"
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Road to Recovery...Well, Not Really
Last Monday I drove two hours down to Fort Myers for Camryn's annual neurology appointment. Living in Port Charlotte since Cam was diagnosed, we picked a neurologist closer to our home than All Childrens and I have to say that I LOVE this woman! Dr. Morales has been seeing Cam for the past three years and she has been such a wonderful doctor.BUT, although I adore her, I do not want to have to drive two hours south everytime we need to get a refill or re-evaluation, so we will definitely be finding a doctor in St. Pete. But we needed to be seen so that Camryn's medicine could be refilled, and believe me we and all of Cams classmates want her medicine refilled, so Cams and I headed south early Monday morning. I always approach these appointments with mixed emotions. I am hopeful that the Dr. will say there is a new drug on the market that will take away all of Camryns issues and I am also scared to death to say that she will say there is nothing more they can do.
Driving that far gives me a lot of time to think. Even though Camryn is with me, the car is silent, as Camryn rarely talks in the car if it is just us. I love long drives for this very reason, for as a mom, extended periods of silence are few and far between. The ride down, I went over all the things I wanted to discuss, mainly the fact that despite being on a medication prescribed solely to curb aggressive behavior in Autistic children, Camryn continues to be aggressive at school and home. Four out of five days we get a note home from her teacher saying she has scratched her classmates and made them bleed and could we please cut her nails. Ummmm, I cut her nails ALL the time, but as you can imagine, if a sixty seven pound seven year old does not want her nails cut, and Brad isn't home to hold her down, then chances are it's not going to be the smoothest of manicures. Every day there are stories from Mason of Camryn grabbing kids next to her at car circle or pinching the patrol helping her to the car. And then of course there are the multiple incidents at home where Natalie is most often the target. And Riley, we cannot forget poor, poor Ry-Ry. I know that dog thinks to herself "Rescued my a**! I would have been better off at the shelter!" But don't worry, she gets LOTS of treats and belly rubs to make up for it!
So, of course, my main reason for this visit is to see if in the last year some miracle drug has come out on the market with promises of taking away all aggressive behaviors. Oh please!!! We walk into the office and as always I am immediately reminded that our problems are so little compared to what could be. A pediatric neurology office will always will do that. The Dr. calls us back and we head to the scale. Dr. Morales does not have a nurse. She does everything herself, weigh in, height, blood pressure,etc. And because Camryn is on medication that alters her blood pressure, it is extremely important that her weight and vitals are precise so that the correct dosage can be prescribed. I know this, and the Dr. knows this, but Cams? All she knows is she does not like to get up on the scale without holding on. She has major balance issues and even though it is just a few inches off the floor, doesn't matter, she doesn't like it.To get her exact weight, she must stand on the scale with her hands to her side for at least five seconds, which may have well been five hours becasue the girl was not going to do it! The Dr. is very understanding of kids like Cam, but she is also very stern and expects no less from them than a "typical" kid, so she was instructing Camryn over and over to put her hands to her side. Meanwhile Cams was trying to hold on for dear life, whining and looking very confused. "She doesn't like to be up on anything without holding on" I kept telling the Dr. " I know, but she needs to do this. Now Camryn put your arms down." Who would think weighing your kid could be such an ordeal? Several, and I mean several minutes later, the doctor took her best read and then we moved on to height. Ugggh! Again, Camryn didn't understand and she does not like to be touched on her head, so trying to get her to stand directly up against the wall with the measuring instrument flat against her scalp was not an easy task,but we did it. Height and weight on the chart, next was blood pressure. This is the most important of all the stats for her medication and to get an accurate number Camryn must sit COMPLETELY still for a whole minute! HA! And get this, to get her blood pressure taken, the Dr. sat her in a swivel chair! A swivel chair! What?? Well, if you know Cams or any Autistic child for that matter then you know how they adore a good spin! So of course Camryn immediately put her feet to the floor and pushed off for a whirl around the office. Dr. Morales was saying "Camryn, stay still!" and although I tried to keep quiet, I finally just said "Well, a swivel chair probably wasn't the best thing to put her in if you want her to stay still." The doctor gave me a high five and laughed at her poor choice of seating. Finally, I was able to distract Camryn long enough to get a good blood pressure reading. It was fine, mine however was through the roof I'm sure. Whew! Vitals are done, moving on to the exam room.
For some reason, Cams loves a good exam table with a crisp sheet of white paper draped over it. She climps up on them like she's mounting a horse and then lays down and says "Take your temperature sweetie". The paper gets torn to shreds in the process, but Cam is in one place, so who cares?
The doctor sits down with me and I tell her my frustrations with Cams aggressions. I tell her how I don't think the medicine is working and that if it is, I can't imagine how aggressive she would be if she weren't on it. I tell her how we get notes home all the time. I start to cry, as I usually do at these appointments and I tell her how I can't go anywhere with Camryn where there will be other kids because I am so fearful she will hurt someone and that she scratches and pinches her sisters to pieces and that it breaks my heart. Dr. Morales is so kind and she took my hand and said "I know honey". "I can handle her not talking normal. I can handle her throwing fits. I can handle that she will live with us for the rest of her life. But I cannot handle not being able to go places that other moms go without a care."
The doctor looked at me with sad eyes and told me that unfortunately the aggression would get worse as she got closer to puberty and that we needed to find a medication that curbed it before it got to that point. She also told me medicine was just part of the solution, that Camryn should be receiving at least 20 hours of ABA therapy a week to really get her behavior in check. Wow. ABA is an intense one on one therapy that is supposedly very successful with Autistic children. It is also very expensive and usually not covered by insurance. I have known about it for years, but because of the expense and the intensity of it, I have never gone that route. I asked her about diet and metronome therapy, both of which she didn't seem to think would work with Cam. I value her opinion,but as far as trying the the diet and metronome therapy, I'm still going to try them. I have heard too many positive things not to.
After discussing her medication, it was time for the physical exam. Keep in mind that Camryn does not like to be touched. Brad and I have noticed Camryns right shoulder protruding more than the left. I asked the doctor to take a look and as she went to lift Cams shirt, Cam pinched her. Wrong thing to do. The doctor, who is of a bigger build, looked Camryn straight in the eye and said "No Camryn! No pinching! Unacceptable!!" Camryn's lip curled up and I thought I would die. She knew she had done something wrong, but the doctor was lightly touching her bare skin and she didn't like it and because she can't say "Hey doc, would you mind not doing that?" she did the next best thing and pinched her.
The doctor proceeded to take off Cams shirt and Cam pinched her again. Why oh why Cam? "No pinching Camryn!!If you pinch me again I am going to pinch you back!" Again Cams lip curled up and her eyes were wide as saucers. One last time Dr Morales tried to lift Cams shirt and well, she pinched her again. This time, the doctor said "That's it! You are in time out for five minutes!" and took Cam by the hand, led her to the corner, put her nose towards the wall and stood back to back with Cam. The room was silent and very awkward. It broke my heart to see my little girl be reprimanded so harshly by someone else, but I also knew that Camryn knew better and that she could not behave like that. When the doctor let her out of the corner, Camryn walked over to her and as if in slow motion leaned forward and kissed the doctors nose. It was so stinkin' cute! Dr Morales looked at me and said "Does this kid know how to work it or what?"
She finally got to look at Cams back and agreed that there could be an issue. She ordered a spinal study to determine if there was curvature. We then talked about how Camryn has always had a "look" about her, ever since she was a baby and that in several of her pictures she almost looks as if she had Down's syndrome. It is something that Brad and I have discussed several times, but I never said anything about to ther doctors. But today I thought I would put it all out there, so I asked the Dr. if it was possible that Camryn could have what is called "Mosaic Down Syndrome", which is a very mild form of Down's. I had heard about it years ago and kept it in the back of my mind. She nodded and said that she had always thought Camryn had a "look" about her as well and that even though Cam had been through genetic testing when she was a toddler that they now have better, more precise testing that can detect things the old tests couldnt. She wrote out a script for a test I cannot prounounce let alone spell, with a warning that insurance was probably not going to want to pay for it without a fight. Efff-ing insurance!!
And then, the last thing on the agenda, was my question of all questions.....What do we do when it comes time for menstruation. I apologize if this is too much info. but you know I like to keep it real. I worry about it all the time because if you think changing a seven year old's poopy pullup is bad, well.....yeah.
The doctor told me that they put kids like Camryn on the birth control pill when that happens, which is what I figured. Another medicine! I hate that! Hopefully we still have a while before that happens....please God!!
We finished up the appointment and left with four scripts...one for a new medication for aggression, one for a spinal study, one for genetic testing and one for ABA. I really should have asked for one for Valium...for me!
Cams and I climbed into the car and started our journey back home. Again, the ride would be quiet which again, gave me plenty of time to think. Driving down I cherished the silence and chance to run through all the things the doctor might say. "There is a new drug out that takes away all aggressive behaviors! There is also a new drug out that will make her be able to have a normal conversation! And there is a new drug that will take away her Autism!"
But the doctor didn't say any of those things. And who knows what I would do if she did. I looked back at Cams, sitting in her seat, deep blue eyes staring out the window and I thought about how much I loved her. I merged onto 75 and turned on radio. Sometimes silence is over-rated.
Driving that far gives me a lot of time to think. Even though Camryn is with me, the car is silent, as Camryn rarely talks in the car if it is just us. I love long drives for this very reason, for as a mom, extended periods of silence are few and far between. The ride down, I went over all the things I wanted to discuss, mainly the fact that despite being on a medication prescribed solely to curb aggressive behavior in Autistic children, Camryn continues to be aggressive at school and home. Four out of five days we get a note home from her teacher saying she has scratched her classmates and made them bleed and could we please cut her nails. Ummmm, I cut her nails ALL the time, but as you can imagine, if a sixty seven pound seven year old does not want her nails cut, and Brad isn't home to hold her down, then chances are it's not going to be the smoothest of manicures. Every day there are stories from Mason of Camryn grabbing kids next to her at car circle or pinching the patrol helping her to the car. And then of course there are the multiple incidents at home where Natalie is most often the target. And Riley, we cannot forget poor, poor Ry-Ry. I know that dog thinks to herself "Rescued my a**! I would have been better off at the shelter!" But don't worry, she gets LOTS of treats and belly rubs to make up for it!
So, of course, my main reason for this visit is to see if in the last year some miracle drug has come out on the market with promises of taking away all aggressive behaviors. Oh please!!! We walk into the office and as always I am immediately reminded that our problems are so little compared to what could be. A pediatric neurology office will always will do that. The Dr. calls us back and we head to the scale. Dr. Morales does not have a nurse. She does everything herself, weigh in, height, blood pressure,etc. And because Camryn is on medication that alters her blood pressure, it is extremely important that her weight and vitals are precise so that the correct dosage can be prescribed. I know this, and the Dr. knows this, but Cams? All she knows is she does not like to get up on the scale without holding on. She has major balance issues and even though it is just a few inches off the floor, doesn't matter, she doesn't like it.To get her exact weight, she must stand on the scale with her hands to her side for at least five seconds, which may have well been five hours becasue the girl was not going to do it! The Dr. is very understanding of kids like Cam, but she is also very stern and expects no less from them than a "typical" kid, so she was instructing Camryn over and over to put her hands to her side. Meanwhile Cams was trying to hold on for dear life, whining and looking very confused. "She doesn't like to be up on anything without holding on" I kept telling the Dr. " I know, but she needs to do this. Now Camryn put your arms down." Who would think weighing your kid could be such an ordeal? Several, and I mean several minutes later, the doctor took her best read and then we moved on to height. Ugggh! Again, Camryn didn't understand and she does not like to be touched on her head, so trying to get her to stand directly up against the wall with the measuring instrument flat against her scalp was not an easy task,but we did it. Height and weight on the chart, next was blood pressure. This is the most important of all the stats for her medication and to get an accurate number Camryn must sit COMPLETELY still for a whole minute! HA! And get this, to get her blood pressure taken, the Dr. sat her in a swivel chair! A swivel chair! What?? Well, if you know Cams or any Autistic child for that matter then you know how they adore a good spin! So of course Camryn immediately put her feet to the floor and pushed off for a whirl around the office. Dr. Morales was saying "Camryn, stay still!" and although I tried to keep quiet, I finally just said "Well, a swivel chair probably wasn't the best thing to put her in if you want her to stay still." The doctor gave me a high five and laughed at her poor choice of seating. Finally, I was able to distract Camryn long enough to get a good blood pressure reading. It was fine, mine however was through the roof I'm sure. Whew! Vitals are done, moving on to the exam room.
For some reason, Cams loves a good exam table with a crisp sheet of white paper draped over it. She climps up on them like she's mounting a horse and then lays down and says "Take your temperature sweetie". The paper gets torn to shreds in the process, but Cam is in one place, so who cares?
The doctor sits down with me and I tell her my frustrations with Cams aggressions. I tell her how I don't think the medicine is working and that if it is, I can't imagine how aggressive she would be if she weren't on it. I tell her how we get notes home all the time. I start to cry, as I usually do at these appointments and I tell her how I can't go anywhere with Camryn where there will be other kids because I am so fearful she will hurt someone and that she scratches and pinches her sisters to pieces and that it breaks my heart. Dr. Morales is so kind and she took my hand and said "I know honey". "I can handle her not talking normal. I can handle her throwing fits. I can handle that she will live with us for the rest of her life. But I cannot handle not being able to go places that other moms go without a care."
The doctor looked at me with sad eyes and told me that unfortunately the aggression would get worse as she got closer to puberty and that we needed to find a medication that curbed it before it got to that point. She also told me medicine was just part of the solution, that Camryn should be receiving at least 20 hours of ABA therapy a week to really get her behavior in check. Wow. ABA is an intense one on one therapy that is supposedly very successful with Autistic children. It is also very expensive and usually not covered by insurance. I have known about it for years, but because of the expense and the intensity of it, I have never gone that route. I asked her about diet and metronome therapy, both of which she didn't seem to think would work with Cam. I value her opinion,but as far as trying the the diet and metronome therapy, I'm still going to try them. I have heard too many positive things not to.
After discussing her medication, it was time for the physical exam. Keep in mind that Camryn does not like to be touched. Brad and I have noticed Camryns right shoulder protruding more than the left. I asked the doctor to take a look and as she went to lift Cams shirt, Cam pinched her. Wrong thing to do. The doctor, who is of a bigger build, looked Camryn straight in the eye and said "No Camryn! No pinching! Unacceptable!!" Camryn's lip curled up and I thought I would die. She knew she had done something wrong, but the doctor was lightly touching her bare skin and she didn't like it and because she can't say "Hey doc, would you mind not doing that?" she did the next best thing and pinched her.
The doctor proceeded to take off Cams shirt and Cam pinched her again. Why oh why Cam? "No pinching Camryn!!If you pinch me again I am going to pinch you back!" Again Cams lip curled up and her eyes were wide as saucers. One last time Dr Morales tried to lift Cams shirt and well, she pinched her again. This time, the doctor said "That's it! You are in time out for five minutes!" and took Cam by the hand, led her to the corner, put her nose towards the wall and stood back to back with Cam. The room was silent and very awkward. It broke my heart to see my little girl be reprimanded so harshly by someone else, but I also knew that Camryn knew better and that she could not behave like that. When the doctor let her out of the corner, Camryn walked over to her and as if in slow motion leaned forward and kissed the doctors nose. It was so stinkin' cute! Dr Morales looked at me and said "Does this kid know how to work it or what?"
She finally got to look at Cams back and agreed that there could be an issue. She ordered a spinal study to determine if there was curvature. We then talked about how Camryn has always had a "look" about her, ever since she was a baby and that in several of her pictures she almost looks as if she had Down's syndrome. It is something that Brad and I have discussed several times, but I never said anything about to ther doctors. But today I thought I would put it all out there, so I asked the Dr. if it was possible that Camryn could have what is called "Mosaic Down Syndrome", which is a very mild form of Down's. I had heard about it years ago and kept it in the back of my mind. She nodded and said that she had always thought Camryn had a "look" about her as well and that even though Cam had been through genetic testing when she was a toddler that they now have better, more precise testing that can detect things the old tests couldnt. She wrote out a script for a test I cannot prounounce let alone spell, with a warning that insurance was probably not going to want to pay for it without a fight. Efff-ing insurance!!
And then, the last thing on the agenda, was my question of all questions.....What do we do when it comes time for menstruation. I apologize if this is too much info. but you know I like to keep it real. I worry about it all the time because if you think changing a seven year old's poopy pullup is bad, well.....yeah.
The doctor told me that they put kids like Camryn on the birth control pill when that happens, which is what I figured. Another medicine! I hate that! Hopefully we still have a while before that happens....please God!!
We finished up the appointment and left with four scripts...one for a new medication for aggression, one for a spinal study, one for genetic testing and one for ABA. I really should have asked for one for Valium...for me!
Cams and I climbed into the car and started our journey back home. Again, the ride would be quiet which again, gave me plenty of time to think. Driving down I cherished the silence and chance to run through all the things the doctor might say. "There is a new drug out that takes away all aggressive behaviors! There is also a new drug out that will make her be able to have a normal conversation! And there is a new drug that will take away her Autism!"
But the doctor didn't say any of those things. And who knows what I would do if she did. I looked back at Cams, sitting in her seat, deep blue eyes staring out the window and I thought about how much I loved her. I merged onto 75 and turned on radio. Sometimes silence is over-rated.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Both Ends of the Candle
Every day I get on this computer and write about raising an Autistic child. The in's and out, trials and triumphs. I do it to vent, I do it to educate and I do it because I love to write. But I am not only a mother to an Autistic child, but to two other neuro-typical children as well, or without being politically correct, normal kids and co-exisiting in these two worlds can sometimes be a real challenge
Anytime there is more than one child in a household there are bound to be times when one feels neglected or jealous,it's normal. But when children grow up with a sibling of special needs, the scales are almost always tipped unintentionally in favor of the child who needs more help.
Mason was an only child for almost two years. The first and only grandchild on my side of the family, she was perched high above the rest of the world on a golden pedastal. She was beautiful, intelligent, and totally gifted, I mean come on, aren't all firstborns? To ask my parents there had never been a smarter, sweeter more adorable baby born, ever! And of course she had Brad and I wrapped so tight around that pinky I'm surprised it didn't cut off circulation. For two years, the world revolved around her.But of course she remembers none of it.Why is it that when we are the cutest and most adored in our lives we are unable to have any recollection of it?
When Cams was born, of course the attention shifted to the new baby, but Mason rolled right along with it, never showing any resentment or jealousy toward her sister.
As time went on and it became evident that Camryn had some issues, more and more of my time was taken up with doctors visits and therapy appointments. Mason never suffered believe me, my family was more than happy to watch her, but a pattern started that continues to this day and it makes me feel so guilty.
Because of Camryns Autism, many of the activities that toddlers enjoy were not on Cam's to-do list. She didn't sit through movies, didn't play nicely with others and for a long while, going out to eat with her just didn't happen. However Mason was a typical little girl who begged to see every animated film advertised and loved to run free at the playground. Because of Brads work schedule, I was often alone with the two kids all day. I had Mason attending Pre-K twice a week when she was 2 and then five days at 3 and up, but still she got bored at home with a sister who didn't interact with her as she wanted. My family and Anna, who lived very close by at the time, was so good about helping with Mason. They would take her to the movies, to the circus, out to eat, to festivals and I would stay home with Camryn. I was so happy that she was able to experience those things and spend time with the people who loved her so much, but I was also very jealous of them for getting to share those times with my daughter when it should be me. Mason will be ten years old this February and I have been to the movies with her maybe five times, five times! She has seen every movie that has come to the big screen for kids, but that was courtesy of my brother. He is very good about spending time with the kids and going to the movies is their thing. He even takes Nat along too, which again, I so appreciate, but still feel sad that I am not there. Chuck E.Cheese, every kid goes there right? It's like the law or something, if you're a kid you have to go to Chuck E. Cheese at least once. Mason and Nat have been there a bazillion times. I have been with them once. Camryn doesn't do Chuck E Cheese. Before we moved back to St. Pete, my mom would take Mace to the Santa Clause parade downtown every year. I have been twice. Another thing Cams doesn't do is parades. I am not trying to sound like a whiner though I probably am, just a kind of "venting" session to say that I feel guilty about not being there with my other two girls for experiences that I feel a mom should share in. I am so thankful and know how blessed I am to have such an involved family and that is something I have always acknowledged. But Mason has told me on more than one occasion she wished I could come to these things.
I plan special days with her. We go out shopping for something she likes or get a bite to eat. The times are few and far between but I always try and let her know how much they mean to me and how much I enjoy her company. She has grown into such a responsible, young lady and a very cool kid. Having Cams for her sister has presented so many challenges in her life, but has also given her a perspective of the world I just don't think she would have had she not been forced to look through the eyes of a sister of the spectrum. She is extremely caring, generous and very emapthetic to her peers. She is non-judgemental and openminded and has an amazing sense of humor. She has become Camryn's protector at school, looking out for her and keeping her amused and out of trouble at car circle. It's a huge responsibility and I have told her more than once that she does not have to watch Cams at school, there are teachers for that. But she wants to do it. "No Mom, I can handle it" she said. And she can, I watch her from the car line and she is keeping a close eye on her sister, doing whatever she needs to do to keep her occupied and happy. There have been several incidences already where Cams has "assaulted" a child sitting near her and Mason takes the appropriate action, whether it be scolding Cams or taking something away from her. The principal has told me on more than one occasion that Mason is an amazing girl and a wonderful big sister. It makes me so incredibly proud of her.
I know that having Cam for a sister cannot be easy. The screaming is sometimes so loud you'd swear your ears were bleeding. The constant scratching and hairpulling. Cleaning your room only to have hurricane Cams come through. Having to decline invitations to certain events or leaving early because it's not working for Camryn. It's rough and my heart breaks for Mace and Nat every time I see them fall on the sword for their sister.But I know in my heart that two incredible women are being molded and shaped by the very sister who often brings them to tears. I cannot wait to see what strong, good hearted people they will grow into and how they will change the world.
Anytime there is more than one child in a household there are bound to be times when one feels neglected or jealous,it's normal. But when children grow up with a sibling of special needs, the scales are almost always tipped unintentionally in favor of the child who needs more help.
Mason was an only child for almost two years. The first and only grandchild on my side of the family, she was perched high above the rest of the world on a golden pedastal. She was beautiful, intelligent, and totally gifted, I mean come on, aren't all firstborns? To ask my parents there had never been a smarter, sweeter more adorable baby born, ever! And of course she had Brad and I wrapped so tight around that pinky I'm surprised it didn't cut off circulation. For two years, the world revolved around her.But of course she remembers none of it.Why is it that when we are the cutest and most adored in our lives we are unable to have any recollection of it?
When Cams was born, of course the attention shifted to the new baby, but Mason rolled right along with it, never showing any resentment or jealousy toward her sister.
As time went on and it became evident that Camryn had some issues, more and more of my time was taken up with doctors visits and therapy appointments. Mason never suffered believe me, my family was more than happy to watch her, but a pattern started that continues to this day and it makes me feel so guilty.
Because of Camryns Autism, many of the activities that toddlers enjoy were not on Cam's to-do list. She didn't sit through movies, didn't play nicely with others and for a long while, going out to eat with her just didn't happen. However Mason was a typical little girl who begged to see every animated film advertised and loved to run free at the playground. Because of Brads work schedule, I was often alone with the two kids all day. I had Mason attending Pre-K twice a week when she was 2 and then five days at 3 and up, but still she got bored at home with a sister who didn't interact with her as she wanted. My family and Anna, who lived very close by at the time, was so good about helping with Mason. They would take her to the movies, to the circus, out to eat, to festivals and I would stay home with Camryn. I was so happy that she was able to experience those things and spend time with the people who loved her so much, but I was also very jealous of them for getting to share those times with my daughter when it should be me. Mason will be ten years old this February and I have been to the movies with her maybe five times, five times! She has seen every movie that has come to the big screen for kids, but that was courtesy of my brother. He is very good about spending time with the kids and going to the movies is their thing. He even takes Nat along too, which again, I so appreciate, but still feel sad that I am not there. Chuck E.Cheese, every kid goes there right? It's like the law or something, if you're a kid you have to go to Chuck E. Cheese at least once. Mason and Nat have been there a bazillion times. I have been with them once. Camryn doesn't do Chuck E Cheese. Before we moved back to St. Pete, my mom would take Mace to the Santa Clause parade downtown every year. I have been twice. Another thing Cams doesn't do is parades. I am not trying to sound like a whiner though I probably am, just a kind of "venting" session to say that I feel guilty about not being there with my other two girls for experiences that I feel a mom should share in. I am so thankful and know how blessed I am to have such an involved family and that is something I have always acknowledged. But Mason has told me on more than one occasion she wished I could come to these things.
I plan special days with her. We go out shopping for something she likes or get a bite to eat. The times are few and far between but I always try and let her know how much they mean to me and how much I enjoy her company. She has grown into such a responsible, young lady and a very cool kid. Having Cams for her sister has presented so many challenges in her life, but has also given her a perspective of the world I just don't think she would have had she not been forced to look through the eyes of a sister of the spectrum. She is extremely caring, generous and very emapthetic to her peers. She is non-judgemental and openminded and has an amazing sense of humor. She has become Camryn's protector at school, looking out for her and keeping her amused and out of trouble at car circle. It's a huge responsibility and I have told her more than once that she does not have to watch Cams at school, there are teachers for that. But she wants to do it. "No Mom, I can handle it" she said. And she can, I watch her from the car line and she is keeping a close eye on her sister, doing whatever she needs to do to keep her occupied and happy. There have been several incidences already where Cams has "assaulted" a child sitting near her and Mason takes the appropriate action, whether it be scolding Cams or taking something away from her. The principal has told me on more than one occasion that Mason is an amazing girl and a wonderful big sister. It makes me so incredibly proud of her.
I know that having Cam for a sister cannot be easy. The screaming is sometimes so loud you'd swear your ears were bleeding. The constant scratching and hairpulling. Cleaning your room only to have hurricane Cams come through. Having to decline invitations to certain events or leaving early because it's not working for Camryn. It's rough and my heart breaks for Mace and Nat every time I see them fall on the sword for their sister.But I know in my heart that two incredible women are being molded and shaped by the very sister who often brings them to tears. I cannot wait to see what strong, good hearted people they will grow into and how they will change the world.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Literal Labor Day
Happy Belated Labor Day! A three day farewell to summer filled with barbecues, pool parties,and poop, don't forget the poop. Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but here at the Walker house, while other families are choosing to sleep past their normal weekday wakeup time before lazily starting their day, we are up with the sun, cleaning ground in poop off wood floors and toilet seats, while Cam sits in a bathtub of murky water, oblivious to the fact that little flakes of feces are floating all around her.Yes my friends,that is how we kick off Labor Day weekend around here.
Of course, Brad and I had other plans for Saturday morning, first one being trying really, really hard to sleep in. Nothing extravagant, maybe 7:30, do we dare dream of 8:00? Then maybe out to breakfast or at least breakfast brought in with the kids. Something a little extra special to kick off the holiday weekend.
Now when I say sleep in, I mean stay in bed, because Camryn does not sleep in....ever. She gets up around 7:00, opens her door, stands at the babygate, talks about Ry-ry,and yells out "I need help!" so we will open her gate. This is when Brad and I assume our literal undercover positions and stay completely silent, as even the slightest sound will elicit a scream from Camryn that she wants out. We breathe only when absolutely necessary and after a tense five minutes or so, we hear Cams feet pounding back to her bed, which means she will lay there and talk to herself for another 30 minutes or so, and we will definitely take it! But this year Cams mistook Labor Day for it's literal interpretation and decided to put us to work right away, you know get the party started early. I heard her say "Poop" about 6:55 a.m., and I knew when Cam says poop, it usually means there is some in the near vicinity. Against my better judgement, I chose to ignore it. At about ten after seven, Natalie comes running into our room and delivers a message that Camryn has pooped all over her room. "It's everywhere! I saw it!" she exclaimed. I pulled the covers off from over my head and one sniff confirmed Natalies story, poop was in the air.
Brad was first to arrive "on the scene". "Awwww %&*#!" Oh this was going to be bad. Four letter words don't float freely around our house. In fact, we try really hard to filter what we say, even banning the words"stupid" and "shut up". But on occasion, this being one of them, try as we might one escapes and goes directly from our lips to Cam's brain, where it is stored in a little section labeled "Words to Shout Out in Church."
I heard the gate click open and Cams feet pounding through the house. Brad was yelling "Nooooo" as she proceeded to leave a trail of poopy footprints in her path. He managed to grab her, but not without getting his hands dirty and wrangled her into the tub. By this point I was up making my way to survey the damage. Wow, I've seen a lot of poop in my nine and a half years of motherhood. Poop in diapers, poop on cribs and poop used as body paint. But when a seven and half year old child has a bowel movement on their floor and then steps in it, smears it, wipes it... there are no words. Toys and books that happened to be in her path were now smudged with poo. And I don't know about you, but if something gets poop on it, unless it's like a family heirloom, I am not trying to salvage it. I don't care how cute it was or how much fun they had with it. No, if it's been pooped on consider it gone. So while Brad is trying to scrub Camryn down, I get out the old mop and bucket and start bleaching the heck out of the floor. Meanwhile Nat and Mace have been confined to their room,and are sitting on their beds watching the whole ordeal. Oh the childhood memories they will have! I can hear Brad telling Camryn to sit down and Camryn is fussing, yelling "Let me get the poop off honey!" I love my husband. I finish Cams room and follow the trail of poop prints to the bathroom, where I am then greeted with a toilet seat covered in nearly dried pasty poop. Apparently Camryn tried to use the toilet after the fact. It is only 7:30 by this time and Brad and I are operating on a very empty stomach, which can be good and bad. I really could have used some coffee though. Brad gets Cam out of the bath and I wipe down the last of the affected areas. It is now 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning, the first day of our holiday weekend and we had already anti-bacterialed, hand sanitized, and deodorized every inch of the house and ourselves. Cam was oblivious,sitting on the couch with a Tootsie pop watching Oobi. When Mom and Dad wake up like this, a nutritious breakfast is probably not going to happen, which is fine with the kids. I had been dreaming about a nice fluffy omelet or hot stack of pancakes, but after that mess I opted to wait for lunch. I looked at Brad, sipping his coffee and told him I was going back to bed. I shut my door, closed the blinds and crawled back under the covers. What else would you expect me to do? I was pooped! ;)
Of course, Brad and I had other plans for Saturday morning, first one being trying really, really hard to sleep in. Nothing extravagant, maybe 7:30, do we dare dream of 8:00? Then maybe out to breakfast or at least breakfast brought in with the kids. Something a little extra special to kick off the holiday weekend.
Now when I say sleep in, I mean stay in bed, because Camryn does not sleep in....ever. She gets up around 7:00, opens her door, stands at the babygate, talks about Ry-ry,and yells out "I need help!" so we will open her gate. This is when Brad and I assume our literal undercover positions and stay completely silent, as even the slightest sound will elicit a scream from Camryn that she wants out. We breathe only when absolutely necessary and after a tense five minutes or so, we hear Cams feet pounding back to her bed, which means she will lay there and talk to herself for another 30 minutes or so, and we will definitely take it! But this year Cams mistook Labor Day for it's literal interpretation and decided to put us to work right away, you know get the party started early. I heard her say "Poop" about 6:55 a.m., and I knew when Cam says poop, it usually means there is some in the near vicinity. Against my better judgement, I chose to ignore it. At about ten after seven, Natalie comes running into our room and delivers a message that Camryn has pooped all over her room. "It's everywhere! I saw it!" she exclaimed. I pulled the covers off from over my head and one sniff confirmed Natalies story, poop was in the air.
Brad was first to arrive "on the scene". "Awwww %&*#!" Oh this was going to be bad. Four letter words don't float freely around our house. In fact, we try really hard to filter what we say, even banning the words"stupid" and "shut up". But on occasion, this being one of them, try as we might one escapes and goes directly from our lips to Cam's brain, where it is stored in a little section labeled "Words to Shout Out in Church."
I heard the gate click open and Cams feet pounding through the house. Brad was yelling "Nooooo" as she proceeded to leave a trail of poopy footprints in her path. He managed to grab her, but not without getting his hands dirty and wrangled her into the tub. By this point I was up making my way to survey the damage. Wow, I've seen a lot of poop in my nine and a half years of motherhood. Poop in diapers, poop on cribs and poop used as body paint. But when a seven and half year old child has a bowel movement on their floor and then steps in it, smears it, wipes it... there are no words. Toys and books that happened to be in her path were now smudged with poo. And I don't know about you, but if something gets poop on it, unless it's like a family heirloom, I am not trying to salvage it. I don't care how cute it was or how much fun they had with it. No, if it's been pooped on consider it gone. So while Brad is trying to scrub Camryn down, I get out the old mop and bucket and start bleaching the heck out of the floor. Meanwhile Nat and Mace have been confined to their room,and are sitting on their beds watching the whole ordeal. Oh the childhood memories they will have! I can hear Brad telling Camryn to sit down and Camryn is fussing, yelling "Let me get the poop off honey!" I love my husband. I finish Cams room and follow the trail of poop prints to the bathroom, where I am then greeted with a toilet seat covered in nearly dried pasty poop. Apparently Camryn tried to use the toilet after the fact. It is only 7:30 by this time and Brad and I are operating on a very empty stomach, which can be good and bad. I really could have used some coffee though. Brad gets Cam out of the bath and I wipe down the last of the affected areas. It is now 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning, the first day of our holiday weekend and we had already anti-bacterialed, hand sanitized, and deodorized every inch of the house and ourselves. Cam was oblivious,sitting on the couch with a Tootsie pop watching Oobi. When Mom and Dad wake up like this, a nutritious breakfast is probably not going to happen, which is fine with the kids. I had been dreaming about a nice fluffy omelet or hot stack of pancakes, but after that mess I opted to wait for lunch. I looked at Brad, sipping his coffee and told him I was going back to bed. I shut my door, closed the blinds and crawled back under the covers. What else would you expect me to do? I was pooped! ;)
Friday, September 3, 2010
34 and Still Getting in Trouble at School!
I forgot to pick my kids up at school this Wednesday. Forgot to pick up my kids! Now, in my defense it was an early release day, which happens every Wednesday in Pinellas county and we did not have such silliness in Charlotte county schools, so I am still not used to it, The regular dismissal is 2:50, but on Wednesdays it is 1:35 allowing teachers extra time to plan during the week. The first week of school, they went all out making sure the parents knew to pick their kids up early, sending home flyers, automated phone calls the night before and a clear message about early release on the school marquis. So despite my scattered brain I got it, I picked them up early. This week however, only week 2 I should mention, no phone calls, no flyers. Nothing. And because I'm still getting used to this new schedule plus the fact that I have a tendency to be a bit unorganized, it completely slipped right off my mind that I needed to pick my daughters up at school an hour and fifteen minutes earlier that day.
I usually leave my house at 2:30 to get in the line. We live so close to the school it takes me no time at all to get there. This past week has been a rough one for various reasons, and I was feeling so rundown. Not wanting to be sick for the holiday weekend, I decided to take a nap before I got the girls. I bribed Natalie with a quarter to lay down with me and set my alarm for 2:20, giving me ten minutes to come out of my nap fog before I left for pickup. I left my phone on, but turned the ringer to beep/vibrate so it wouldn't wake Natalie. I of course would hear it, right? Well, no, apparently not. So I close my eyes at 1:30 and before I know it the alarm is screeching me awake. Wow time flies when you're napping! I was just getting ready to make some coffee when my phone beeped. It was the school. "Hello Mrs. Walker? This is Sawgrass Elementary, I called you a few minutes ago too. We still have your two daughters here." So I look at the stove clock which says 2:24 and say" Okaaaayyy, umm.." "It's early release day, did you forget?" "Oh my gosh!!! Oh my gosh! Yes, I totally forgot! I am soooo sorry!" I kept apologizing and "OMG"ing. " No problem, but your girls are a little upset, you want to talk to them?" Okay, so now as if I don't feel like a big enough loser, my daughter's in the front office of her new school thinking I have been in some horrible car accident or hopped a boat to Bermuda like I've threatened on numerous occasions. Mason is a worrywart by nature and she comes by it naturally,her nerves of jelly passed on courtesy of yours truly. So I could only imagine how many times she had twisted her shoelace around her fingers or how many hours of therapy were going to be needed after this incident. I told her how sorry I was and that I was on my way. Now the secretary had told me my "daughters" were upset. I knew Mason was and would expect nothing less, but Cams? I highly doubted it. I asked Mason if her sister was alright. "Oh yeah, she's fine. She did pinch a little Pre-K student, but she's just sitting here now." I knew it. The beauty of Cams's mind is that worry rarely finds it's way in. For all Cams knew, she and Mace were on a field trip to the office. She has no concept of time, only that there is never enough of it when it comes to the merry go round. And the fact that she doesn't know to worry like Mason is such a blessing for so many reasons, but in this particular situation such a blessing for Mace because I can only imagine the monstrocities the two of them could have conjured up about why I was late and what could have happened to me. And in a situation where the normal procedure would be for big sister to calm little sister, in these circumstances it was quite the opposite, with little Cams keeping Mason from hyperventilating about my tardiness.
As I pulled into the car circle, the principal walked the girls to my car. The principal! I was so embarrassed. I laughed it off and asked if this was where I was to pick up my Mother of the Year award? She laguhed and said not to worry, I was one of about ten other parents who had forgotten. I felt a slight bit better,until Mason chimed in with "Ten parents out of like 500 mom!" Ohhhhh, yeah, then I really am pathetic.
I made it up to them with cookie dough shakes from Steak and Shake and 6 times over "Thrill Hill" (only a St. Pete native knows what I'm talking about here).
Mason told me how the whole thing went down, how every car that pulled in she thought was me, how Cams pinched a little girl next to her who was already crying for some other reason and how after 45 minutes waiting for me, the coach in charge of parent pickup told the office staff that the kids were coming inside, then pointed at Camryn and said "But this one here, she's gonna need an adult with her" LOL
I assured Mason that I would never be late again, but that if for some unforseen reason I was, I'd give her twenty bucks.I think she's hoping I'll forget again next week. I told Cams I was sorry for being late, to which she gave me a snap said "I wanna see Ry-ry". Ahhh, to live in her world :)
I usually leave my house at 2:30 to get in the line. We live so close to the school it takes me no time at all to get there. This past week has been a rough one for various reasons, and I was feeling so rundown. Not wanting to be sick for the holiday weekend, I decided to take a nap before I got the girls. I bribed Natalie with a quarter to lay down with me and set my alarm for 2:20, giving me ten minutes to come out of my nap fog before I left for pickup. I left my phone on, but turned the ringer to beep/vibrate so it wouldn't wake Natalie. I of course would hear it, right? Well, no, apparently not. So I close my eyes at 1:30 and before I know it the alarm is screeching me awake. Wow time flies when you're napping! I was just getting ready to make some coffee when my phone beeped. It was the school. "Hello Mrs. Walker? This is Sawgrass Elementary, I called you a few minutes ago too. We still have your two daughters here." So I look at the stove clock which says 2:24 and say" Okaaaayyy, umm.." "It's early release day, did you forget?" "Oh my gosh!!! Oh my gosh! Yes, I totally forgot! I am soooo sorry!" I kept apologizing and "OMG"ing. " No problem, but your girls are a little upset, you want to talk to them?" Okay, so now as if I don't feel like a big enough loser, my daughter's in the front office of her new school thinking I have been in some horrible car accident or hopped a boat to Bermuda like I've threatened on numerous occasions. Mason is a worrywart by nature and she comes by it naturally,her nerves of jelly passed on courtesy of yours truly. So I could only imagine how many times she had twisted her shoelace around her fingers or how many hours of therapy were going to be needed after this incident. I told her how sorry I was and that I was on my way. Now the secretary had told me my "daughters" were upset. I knew Mason was and would expect nothing less, but Cams? I highly doubted it. I asked Mason if her sister was alright. "Oh yeah, she's fine. She did pinch a little Pre-K student, but she's just sitting here now." I knew it. The beauty of Cams's mind is that worry rarely finds it's way in. For all Cams knew, she and Mace were on a field trip to the office. She has no concept of time, only that there is never enough of it when it comes to the merry go round. And the fact that she doesn't know to worry like Mason is such a blessing for so many reasons, but in this particular situation such a blessing for Mace because I can only imagine the monstrocities the two of them could have conjured up about why I was late and what could have happened to me. And in a situation where the normal procedure would be for big sister to calm little sister, in these circumstances it was quite the opposite, with little Cams keeping Mason from hyperventilating about my tardiness.
As I pulled into the car circle, the principal walked the girls to my car. The principal! I was so embarrassed. I laughed it off and asked if this was where I was to pick up my Mother of the Year award? She laguhed and said not to worry, I was one of about ten other parents who had forgotten. I felt a slight bit better,until Mason chimed in with "Ten parents out of like 500 mom!" Ohhhhh, yeah, then I really am pathetic.
I made it up to them with cookie dough shakes from Steak and Shake and 6 times over "Thrill Hill" (only a St. Pete native knows what I'm talking about here).
Mason told me how the whole thing went down, how every car that pulled in she thought was me, how Cams pinched a little girl next to her who was already crying for some other reason and how after 45 minutes waiting for me, the coach in charge of parent pickup told the office staff that the kids were coming inside, then pointed at Camryn and said "But this one here, she's gonna need an adult with her" LOL
I assured Mason that I would never be late again, but that if for some unforseen reason I was, I'd give her twenty bucks.I think she's hoping I'll forget again next week. I told Cams I was sorry for being late, to which she gave me a snap said "I wanna see Ry-ry". Ahhh, to live in her world :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
