Ewwwwwww! Yuccccckkkkkk! Grossssss! Steam, scrub, boil and rinse! I am tired of have fecal matter on me every afternoon!
That's right I said fecal matter! Otherwise known as feces,dung,crap,poop and doo doo. For the past two days I have been wiping it out of panties, rubbing it off hands, bleaching it off toilet seats and floors and scrubbing it off my body and I am totally grossed out!
I think you all know I am not defacating on myself. Not yet at least, but give me time, it may be happening at some point in the near future.This time I must give credit where credit is due and that would be to Camryn. She is up to her old tricks again and they stink!
It's been quite a while since we've had any major poop incidents with Cam. In fact, Camryn has been doing really well in all areas up until this past weekend. For some reason unbeknownst to me or Brad, Camryn had a really, shall I say "challenging" time this weekend. And of course it was a long weekend because we wouldn't want to short change ourselves with only two days of hellish behavior when we could get in a third. And even with all of the screaming and the crying and throwing and hitting and book tearing, dog molesting, liquid soap dumping, toy throwing and toothpaste squeezing, while completely draining and and quite disturbing, Brad and I handle it. But poop....I gotta tell ya, neither one of us is much of a fan.
You would think after almost eleven years of changing diapers that I would be used to the stuff, but I don't think one ever acquires a fondness for it. And if anyone has had the opportunity to develop at the very least an immunity to it, it would be me, as I have had more encounters with it then I care to say. Just recently Camryn has become very good with her toileting issues and more than not makes it to the potty on time for both numbers. And then we have the occasional "tried to make it but fell just short" which I completely understand and applaud her effort. But there are times, such as these past two, where I swear she does it either out of complete boredom, a sincere fascination for the stuff or my personal opinion...she likes to see me squirm.
With Nat having homework now that she is kindergarten and Mace having loads of it now that she is in fifth grade, afternoons are busy around here. I try to keep Camryn busy while Mason does her reading but when it comes to her math or a project she's working on she needs my help. At these times I put Cam in her room to "play", though she rarely does more than just stand at her door and scream, making homework time really stressful for her sisters. Yesterday was no different and I hadn't been with Mason five minutes when I heard "Do you have poop on your finger honey?" I wanted to f***ing scream! I stomped down the hall, threw open her door and sure enough, there she was with her pointer finger erect, looking like a little man with a sticky brown cap on his head. "UUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!" I was soooo mad! I grabbed her by the wrist and stripped her of her clothes. Sure enough, in her panties was a quarter sized brown splotch, with a consistency of meringue, stiff peaks and all. She had obviously worked to get this out. I scolded her for pooping in her panties, I scolded her for putting her finger in it and then sat her on the potty to finish the job. Before I could get to her she grabbed some toilet paper to wipe it off her hands. Because of the consistency of the "specimen" the toilet paper tore off into little pieces, sticking all over her fingers. Gross! I picked them all off, wiped her hands with a baby wipe and started the bath for her. When she stood up, I noticed that her butt had the thinest layer of poop on it, obviously from sitting on the splotch in her panties. I tried to wipe it off with toilet paper but this stuff was like wallpaper glue and when I wiped it, rolled into little brown balls and fell on the floor. My lunch started making it's way back up. I used a baby wipe to moisten her bottom and wiped her as clean as I could get her, then set her in the tub. As I went to scrub her I noticed she had left a "print" on the toilet seat, ewwwwww. I washed her, then sprayed bleach EVERYWHERE, drenching the little poop balls on the floor and wondering how in the hell this became my life.
With Cam clean, the bathroom clean and poop balls down the drain, I got her dressed and brought her out to watch T.V. I needed to shower but Nat needed help with something so I ran my hands under scalding hot water and lathered up with about a half a bottle of liquid soap. I sat down at the table to help her when Camryn walked over and hit her on the head. "Lord, I just want to help my kid with her homework!!!" Nat began to cry and so I stuck Cam in her room again for hitting.
I came back out, helped Nat with her work and noticed it was time for Nat to get in the bath. I got her in the tub, started a load of laundry and then I heard it again. "Poop honey". OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
I got Cam out of her room and felt her pants. Nothing. Whew!! I had dodged the brown bullet!! I let her go into the bathroom to use the toilet while I checked the laundry. I had no sooner closed the washer lid when I heard Nat yell from the tub "Mom, Camryn pooped in her pants again!" Oh I was livid! I stormed down that hallway with a vengeance. I turned the corner and sure enough, there were her underwear on the floor with another pasty splotch and there she sat on the toilet, little pieces of white toilet paper all stuck to her fingers! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, a bonus. A rather large ball of poo had somehow rolled out of her panties as she was taking them off, landed on the floor I had JUST bleached and been stepped on as she made her way to the toilet. I looked at Nat and began to say get out when she said "I know, I know Mom, put my bath toys away". This was not her first poop rodeo. There have been many a times when she has been booted out of the bath early so her sticky sister can get in. She is such a sweet girl and cleaned up with no problem. She got out, Cam got in and the process began again.
By the time Brad got home I was, well I guess you could say pooped! And pissed, sorry I couldn't resist. I was so discouraged, angry, sad and at the same time telling the story laughing because what the hell else can you do? He understood, as he has seen a few poop balls in his time.
And so it goes, the life of a mom raising autism. It's chaotic, it's draining,it's funny,it's depressing, rewarding,challenging and amazing all in one. Oh and stinky,I forgot to mention stinky.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
A Fraction of a Good Time
Every year we try to take the kids on some sort of family vacation. Most of the time it's up to Beech Mountain, NC for the annual Woolly Worm Festival in October. Last year we made it a trip to Orlando to visit Shamu and this year we are lucky enough to be able to fit both in, which makes me so happy as going to the Woolly Worm Festival is a family tradition from when I was a kid.
The week before school started back, we planned a quick trip to DisneyWorld and Universal with the girls. They were soooo excited and if I may be perfectly honest, I was too, I mean come on it's Mickey Mouse we're talking about! The night before we left I sat on the couch with the girls by my side and browsed through the Disney website looking at all the rides and shows. Mason has been several times in her decade on earth but Nat has only been once, so she needed a refresher course. And then there's Camryn. Camryn has never been to Disney and sadly, she did not join us this time either, a decision that kills me every time. But when you are raising kids with an autistic sibling, it touches everything they do, everything. And so as our gift to them, we try and take that away for a bit, even if just for the weekend and show then our undivided love and attention and...money, we're talking Disney people!
As usual, when we go away with Mace and Nat overnight, my angelic,sent from Heaven above, mother-in-law keeps Camryn. She is one of those people that kids just gravitate towards. She has a child like spirit and energy about her and I am so, so blessed to have her as my childrens "Nanny". And Camryn is crazy about her, so that really helps. She and her husband "Papa Dave" still live in Port Charlotte where we moved back from, so they are about an hour and a half away. But it is worth the drive to know that Camryn will be well taken care of and loved and spoiled while we are off without her. Brad dropped her off on Saturday and Sunday morning we all piled into the Suburban for our annual Walker's 4/5th's family vacation.
First stop was Universal Studios. We had been there back in February of this year for Mason's birthday. She wanted to do the Jaws ride and E.T. but also was hoping to see the Dr. Seuss section of the adjoining "Islands of Adventure" park as well as the insanely crowded "Wizardring (sp?) World of Harry Pottah ( I know it's Potter, but it sounds so much better the way I spell it!) And of course, you cannot just go from park to park with one ticket. You must purchase a separate ticket for an additional fee to get into "Islands of Adventure". Because it was Mason's tenth birthday gift, we went ahead and bought tickets for both parks. And for some reason I assumed we would be able to do both in one day. I really should have known better! This was also a trip where Camryn would not be joining us but because we weren't staying overnight I just arranged to use our respite hours and have her caretaker watch her that day. Long story short, we were not able to do everything and we sure as heck weren't getting into Harry Pottah. They were handing out tickets with times to come back later in the day because it was so crowded. But we couldn't come back later because we only have so many hours with respite and the clock was ticking. Mason was upset and truthfully so was I. If we were a "normal" family we would just have stayed until the park closed, but we weren't and we had to get home to Cammy. I was disappointed that we had spent that money on the tickets and didn't get to see Harry, so I made a call to Universal, told them the situation and they were kind enough to re-issue us tickets to be used at any time during the year! Now that's what I call customer service!! And they really came in handy this summer when planning our trip because theme parks can get very pricey, so only having to pay to get into Disney was a blessing.
We had a great time at Universal and after helping E.T. "phone home" and escaping the jaws of...well "Jaws", we headed over to our hotel. It was about 8:00 pm by that time and I surprised the girls with 9:00 dinner reservations at the T-Rex restaurant in Downtown Disney. They were so happy! T-Rex is owned by the same company as "Rainforest Cafe" and is the same concept except instead of a rainforest setting with animatronic gorillas and elephants it is a prehistoric jungle with moving dinosaurs. And where it "storms" every twenty minutes over at Rainforest, in the T-Rex room the lights go out and a meteor shower takes place. Anyway, the girls were ecstatic about going, even though we were all about to drop dead from exhaustion after our day. It was a fun time and a great way to end our first day of vacation.
Monday we woke up bright and early and hopped on the ferry to see the mouse! No matter how many times I've been ( and as a Florida native, I've been ALOT) or how old I get, I never get tired of going to Disney World. I don't know how they do it, but it really is the "happiest place on earth". And to experience it through the eyes of my daughters, it made me tear up at times as I watched them bounce with excitement in line for "Snow White" and stare in awe at "Small World". And although I was having such a great time and was so happy to have this experince with them, I was sad that Camryn wasn't with us because I knew she would absolutely love the rides and the parades. I would say to Brad "Cam would go wild over this" and he would answer "Yeah, she would love it, but there would be no way we could bring her with the other two and not have it be all about her". And he was right, which is why we were there and she wasn't. When we take Camryn somewhere, everybody knows that the length of our stay depends on Camryn and if Camryn can't handle it, we leave. It's how we do things and our kids know that. If we are out to eat and Camryn has a hard time, we certainly aren't going to let her sit there and scream while everyone else in the restaurant is trying to enjoy their meal. And if we go to the zoo and Camryn is pinching kids then we have to leave because why am I going to put other people's kids at risk? While it's not fair for Mace and Nat it's the way it's gotta be right now and they handle it so well for their tender age. They are such good girls. In fact, as I was silently picturing Cam freaking out in excitement over the spinning teacup ride, Mason said "I really wish Cam was here, she would love this". And she continued to mention how she wanted Camryn to experience Disney. She is an amazing girl. I told her we would bring Camryn soon and she said "For my birthday, I want my gift to be Camryn coming to Disney with me". I teared up behind my sunglasses. "Mason, you are a wonderful sister. Camryn is so lucky to have you" I told her. "We'll bring Cams here, I promise". And we will, with a ton of preparation, an escape route, a pass to the front of the lines and family t-shirts that say something about Autism to answer anybody's question or stare. Oh and Benadryl.....lots and lots of Benadryl.
So our four-fifths family vacation was a huge success! We did whatever the girls wanted to do, hovered on their every word, held their hands, hugged them and smooched them to pieces and all the other things we don't always get to do as much as we'd like when Miss Cams is around. We just want them to know they are loved and just as important to us as Camryn and we want them to have "normal" family experiences without autism stealing all the fun. And even though these times are far less frequent than we'd like, they are so special to all of us and so necessary...for all of us.
Second week of October, we'll be piling in the old Suburban and taking a family road trip to the mountains for some hot apple cider and Woolly Worm racing. We'll play checkers by the fireplace, hike a few beginners trails and visit the local country fair. These are still some of my very favorite memories as a kid and young adult and I am so happy my girls will have them as well. Cam will be with "Nanny" making her own happy memories. It may not be the way most families do it, but I don't think I have to remind you we are not "most families". This is the way we do it and it works for us. And one day in the not too distant future maybe, just maybe I will find myself packing three little suitcases with three little swimsuits, three little nighties and three little jackets. And Benadryl.....lots and lots of Benadryl.
The week before school started back, we planned a quick trip to DisneyWorld and Universal with the girls. They were soooo excited and if I may be perfectly honest, I was too, I mean come on it's Mickey Mouse we're talking about! The night before we left I sat on the couch with the girls by my side and browsed through the Disney website looking at all the rides and shows. Mason has been several times in her decade on earth but Nat has only been once, so she needed a refresher course. And then there's Camryn. Camryn has never been to Disney and sadly, she did not join us this time either, a decision that kills me every time. But when you are raising kids with an autistic sibling, it touches everything they do, everything. And so as our gift to them, we try and take that away for a bit, even if just for the weekend and show then our undivided love and attention and...money, we're talking Disney people!
As usual, when we go away with Mace and Nat overnight, my angelic,sent from Heaven above, mother-in-law keeps Camryn. She is one of those people that kids just gravitate towards. She has a child like spirit and energy about her and I am so, so blessed to have her as my childrens "Nanny". And Camryn is crazy about her, so that really helps. She and her husband "Papa Dave" still live in Port Charlotte where we moved back from, so they are about an hour and a half away. But it is worth the drive to know that Camryn will be well taken care of and loved and spoiled while we are off without her. Brad dropped her off on Saturday and Sunday morning we all piled into the Suburban for our annual Walker's 4/5th's family vacation.
First stop was Universal Studios. We had been there back in February of this year for Mason's birthday. She wanted to do the Jaws ride and E.T. but also was hoping to see the Dr. Seuss section of the adjoining "Islands of Adventure" park as well as the insanely crowded "Wizardring (sp?) World of Harry Pottah ( I know it's Potter, but it sounds so much better the way I spell it!) And of course, you cannot just go from park to park with one ticket. You must purchase a separate ticket for an additional fee to get into "Islands of Adventure". Because it was Mason's tenth birthday gift, we went ahead and bought tickets for both parks. And for some reason I assumed we would be able to do both in one day. I really should have known better! This was also a trip where Camryn would not be joining us but because we weren't staying overnight I just arranged to use our respite hours and have her caretaker watch her that day. Long story short, we were not able to do everything and we sure as heck weren't getting into Harry Pottah. They were handing out tickets with times to come back later in the day because it was so crowded. But we couldn't come back later because we only have so many hours with respite and the clock was ticking. Mason was upset and truthfully so was I. If we were a "normal" family we would just have stayed until the park closed, but we weren't and we had to get home to Cammy. I was disappointed that we had spent that money on the tickets and didn't get to see Harry, so I made a call to Universal, told them the situation and they were kind enough to re-issue us tickets to be used at any time during the year! Now that's what I call customer service!! And they really came in handy this summer when planning our trip because theme parks can get very pricey, so only having to pay to get into Disney was a blessing.
We had a great time at Universal and after helping E.T. "phone home" and escaping the jaws of...well "Jaws", we headed over to our hotel. It was about 8:00 pm by that time and I surprised the girls with 9:00 dinner reservations at the T-Rex restaurant in Downtown Disney. They were so happy! T-Rex is owned by the same company as "Rainforest Cafe" and is the same concept except instead of a rainforest setting with animatronic gorillas and elephants it is a prehistoric jungle with moving dinosaurs. And where it "storms" every twenty minutes over at Rainforest, in the T-Rex room the lights go out and a meteor shower takes place. Anyway, the girls were ecstatic about going, even though we were all about to drop dead from exhaustion after our day. It was a fun time and a great way to end our first day of vacation.
Monday we woke up bright and early and hopped on the ferry to see the mouse! No matter how many times I've been ( and as a Florida native, I've been ALOT) or how old I get, I never get tired of going to Disney World. I don't know how they do it, but it really is the "happiest place on earth". And to experience it through the eyes of my daughters, it made me tear up at times as I watched them bounce with excitement in line for "Snow White" and stare in awe at "Small World". And although I was having such a great time and was so happy to have this experince with them, I was sad that Camryn wasn't with us because I knew she would absolutely love the rides and the parades. I would say to Brad "Cam would go wild over this" and he would answer "Yeah, she would love it, but there would be no way we could bring her with the other two and not have it be all about her". And he was right, which is why we were there and she wasn't. When we take Camryn somewhere, everybody knows that the length of our stay depends on Camryn and if Camryn can't handle it, we leave. It's how we do things and our kids know that. If we are out to eat and Camryn has a hard time, we certainly aren't going to let her sit there and scream while everyone else in the restaurant is trying to enjoy their meal. And if we go to the zoo and Camryn is pinching kids then we have to leave because why am I going to put other people's kids at risk? While it's not fair for Mace and Nat it's the way it's gotta be right now and they handle it so well for their tender age. They are such good girls. In fact, as I was silently picturing Cam freaking out in excitement over the spinning teacup ride, Mason said "I really wish Cam was here, she would love this". And she continued to mention how she wanted Camryn to experience Disney. She is an amazing girl. I told her we would bring Camryn soon and she said "For my birthday, I want my gift to be Camryn coming to Disney with me". I teared up behind my sunglasses. "Mason, you are a wonderful sister. Camryn is so lucky to have you" I told her. "We'll bring Cams here, I promise". And we will, with a ton of preparation, an escape route, a pass to the front of the lines and family t-shirts that say something about Autism to answer anybody's question or stare. Oh and Benadryl.....lots and lots of Benadryl.
So our four-fifths family vacation was a huge success! We did whatever the girls wanted to do, hovered on their every word, held their hands, hugged them and smooched them to pieces and all the other things we don't always get to do as much as we'd like when Miss Cams is around. We just want them to know they are loved and just as important to us as Camryn and we want them to have "normal" family experiences without autism stealing all the fun. And even though these times are far less frequent than we'd like, they are so special to all of us and so necessary...for all of us.
Second week of October, we'll be piling in the old Suburban and taking a family road trip to the mountains for some hot apple cider and Woolly Worm racing. We'll play checkers by the fireplace, hike a few beginners trails and visit the local country fair. These are still some of my very favorite memories as a kid and young adult and I am so happy my girls will have them as well. Cam will be with "Nanny" making her own happy memories. It may not be the way most families do it, but I don't think I have to remind you we are not "most families". This is the way we do it and it works for us. And one day in the not too distant future maybe, just maybe I will find myself packing three little suitcases with three little swimsuits, three little nighties and three little jackets. And Benadryl.....lots and lots of Benadryl.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Back To The Drawing Board
Today is the last day of the first week of school and what a week it has been! It's been good, don't get me wrong, just busy. With three kids at two different schools it is kind of crazy, but so far things have been going smoothly and I hope to God they stay that way.
This year I decided to let Mason go to her neighborhood school instead of attending Camryn's school on special assignment. Well, I say I decided but it's more like it was was decided for me and so I went with it. Actually, Mason could have stayed at her previous school, but Natalie was not able to go to kindergarten there because it was not our zoned school and they are very strict about kindergartner's attending their zoned school. And the only reason Camryn goes there is because it is one of only a handful of schools that have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) units. I was so torn about moving Mason to a new school for fifth grade, but also knew that Natalie would have to go to her assigned school and it would make more sense to send Mason where Nat was because Cam would be riding the bus this year so driving Mason to one school and then Nat to another made no sense. See, crazy huh? Also, Camryns school starts one hour earlier than our zoned school, so the bus picks her up at 7:00, whereas we don't have to leave until 8:20 to get to our neighborhood school on time. And what a nice break that is in the morning, having Camryn off to school before the other two are even up. It makes for such a calmer morning.
So that being said, Cam is with her same teacher as last year, praise the Lord, and Mace and Nat are together,which is so nice for Natalie her first year of school. Turns out, I love this school even more than the previous one, even though that one is phenomenal as well and I am so happy that things fell into place. Schedule wise it is nice too, as Camryn is picked up at our front door before the morning rush of getting ready and then her bus drops her off ten minutes before I leave to pick up her sisters. It's perfect!
Another reason I am so glad about the two different schools is that for once in her five year school career, Mason's identity is not tied to Camryn. Ever since she was in kindergarten, Camryn has been at her school, starting in the VE-Pre-K. And while she loves her sister and also likes to help with her, she has always been known as "Camryn's sister". Sure, she was regarded for her artwork, her good grades and incredible writing skills, but being Camryn Walker's sister always seemed to overshadow her greatest accomplishments at school. And at pick up time this past year, it really became evident when even the staff was using her as Camryn's assistant in car circle, which if you read my previous blogs you know didn't work out so well. Her friends would always tell her how Camryn scratched them or pinched them on the playground. Most got that Cam couldn't help it, but some were really upset about it and took their sorrows to Mace. She handled it so well, telling them, "Well, I have nothing to do with what Camryn does so be upset at her, not me!" But I know it had to wear on her and probably even embarrass her at times.
Having her at a school where Autism is a foreign word is such a good thing because finally she can just be. Mason Walker, ten years old, loves to write, draw, loves animals and bugs and stuffies. A freckle faced young girl with dreams of being a movie star, famous Disney animator and a veterinarian in her spare time. And if she chooses not to tell anybody that her sister is Autistic, then nobody will ever know. But I know Mason, and Mason will tell everyone about Camryn, because she loves her and is proud of her. And I think that is awesome.
And Cam will never know the difference that Mason is no longer on school grounds. This year she has a wonderful bus situation and I hope and pray it stays this way. So far, she has not assaulted any of her bus or class mates and let's all keep our fingers crossed that continues. If I have to drive her to and from school like what happened last year, it will not be pretty. Her teacher says that so far Cam has shown no signs on aggression which is a huge compliment for her. I know it's only the first week, but I really hope this trend continues.
Nat is adjusting beautifully to kindergarten. She has a great teacher and is loving school. And it is so cute when I pick them up in the car circle after school. She and Mace are sitting together on the bench and when they clamor in the car Mace tells me all about Nats day. Apparently she gets the low-down on how much Nat ate at lunch and what she did in art or music on their walk to parent pickup. It's so refreshing to see them having a normal school experience together, so special, so....normal.
Next year is middle school and Mace and Nat will have to part ways. My three girls will be in three different schools and how that is going to work I have no idea. But I still have 360 days to figure that one out and like most things usually do, I'm sure it will turn out just fine. Except the middle school part, for that I am really, really scared! lol
This year I decided to let Mason go to her neighborhood school instead of attending Camryn's school on special assignment. Well, I say I decided but it's more like it was was decided for me and so I went with it. Actually, Mason could have stayed at her previous school, but Natalie was not able to go to kindergarten there because it was not our zoned school and they are very strict about kindergartner's attending their zoned school. And the only reason Camryn goes there is because it is one of only a handful of schools that have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) units. I was so torn about moving Mason to a new school for fifth grade, but also knew that Natalie would have to go to her assigned school and it would make more sense to send Mason where Nat was because Cam would be riding the bus this year so driving Mason to one school and then Nat to another made no sense. See, crazy huh? Also, Camryns school starts one hour earlier than our zoned school, so the bus picks her up at 7:00, whereas we don't have to leave until 8:20 to get to our neighborhood school on time. And what a nice break that is in the morning, having Camryn off to school before the other two are even up. It makes for such a calmer morning.
So that being said, Cam is with her same teacher as last year, praise the Lord, and Mace and Nat are together,which is so nice for Natalie her first year of school. Turns out, I love this school even more than the previous one, even though that one is phenomenal as well and I am so happy that things fell into place. Schedule wise it is nice too, as Camryn is picked up at our front door before the morning rush of getting ready and then her bus drops her off ten minutes before I leave to pick up her sisters. It's perfect!
Another reason I am so glad about the two different schools is that for once in her five year school career, Mason's identity is not tied to Camryn. Ever since she was in kindergarten, Camryn has been at her school, starting in the VE-Pre-K. And while she loves her sister and also likes to help with her, she has always been known as "Camryn's sister". Sure, she was regarded for her artwork, her good grades and incredible writing skills, but being Camryn Walker's sister always seemed to overshadow her greatest accomplishments at school. And at pick up time this past year, it really became evident when even the staff was using her as Camryn's assistant in car circle, which if you read my previous blogs you know didn't work out so well. Her friends would always tell her how Camryn scratched them or pinched them on the playground. Most got that Cam couldn't help it, but some were really upset about it and took their sorrows to Mace. She handled it so well, telling them, "Well, I have nothing to do with what Camryn does so be upset at her, not me!" But I know it had to wear on her and probably even embarrass her at times.
Having her at a school where Autism is a foreign word is such a good thing because finally she can just be. Mason Walker, ten years old, loves to write, draw, loves animals and bugs and stuffies. A freckle faced young girl with dreams of being a movie star, famous Disney animator and a veterinarian in her spare time. And if she chooses not to tell anybody that her sister is Autistic, then nobody will ever know. But I know Mason, and Mason will tell everyone about Camryn, because she loves her and is proud of her. And I think that is awesome.
And Cam will never know the difference that Mason is no longer on school grounds. This year she has a wonderful bus situation and I hope and pray it stays this way. So far, she has not assaulted any of her bus or class mates and let's all keep our fingers crossed that continues. If I have to drive her to and from school like what happened last year, it will not be pretty. Her teacher says that so far Cam has shown no signs on aggression which is a huge compliment for her. I know it's only the first week, but I really hope this trend continues.
Nat is adjusting beautifully to kindergarten. She has a great teacher and is loving school. And it is so cute when I pick them up in the car circle after school. She and Mace are sitting together on the bench and when they clamor in the car Mace tells me all about Nats day. Apparently she gets the low-down on how much Nat ate at lunch and what she did in art or music on their walk to parent pickup. It's so refreshing to see them having a normal school experience together, so special, so....normal.
Next year is middle school and Mace and Nat will have to part ways. My three girls will be in three different schools and how that is going to work I have no idea. But I still have 360 days to figure that one out and like most things usually do, I'm sure it will turn out just fine. Except the middle school part, for that I am really, really scared! lol
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The Gift
Last Wednesday my youngest daughter turned five. What does this have to do with a blog about raising autism? Everything, as Natalie may never have even been born had it not been for Camryn being autistic.
When Camryn was three and the label of autism was stuck firmly in place, it was painfully obvious that her future would not be like Mason's and their relationship would be nowhere near what I had imagined. The idea of growing older and not being able to care for Camryn as an adult scared the s**t out of me and the thought of Mason having to take on the responsibility of her sister when we were gone scared me even more. Although she loves Camryn with all her heart, I know she has dreams and plans of her own and the last thing I want is for her to have to put her life on hold to take care of her sister. And long before she was grown I knew there would be struggles and emotions that none of her friends would understand unless they too lived in a house that autism built.
The decision to have another baby was not made overnight, no pun intended. Brad and I thought about it for quite a while, stressing over the fact that already having a child with autism raised our chances of having another on the spectrum, not a dramatic amount but enough to be concerned about. We also knew that it would be a tremendous amount of work adding an infant to the mix, as Camryn was like a baby herself at that time as well as very aggressive and having a newborn in the house was going to be risky. On the other hand we felt for Mason being the only other kid in the house and dealing on a daily basis with the ugliness and stress of autism. For her to have another sibling to play with, talk to, create memories with and to understand what she goes through would make such a difference in her life and so with that idea we decided to put our money down and place our bet. Nine months later we won big with the birth of Natalie Eva Walker.
Mason was five when Nat was born and Camryn was three. And even at three, Camryn was still very much a baby. With her not really talking that much, still in diapers and sleeping in a crib, she was like an infant herself and I worried how this was going to work out. I will never forget when my mom brought Mace and Cam to the hospital to visit their newborn sister. I was holding Nat, so tiny and petite swaddled nice and warm in the crook of my arm and Brad in the chair next to me, when the hospital room door flung open and in clamored Camryn. She looked as if she had eaten one of Alice's mushrooms and grown a few feet taller overnight. For the past three years she had been my little baby. Though chronlogically a preshooler, she had seemed so tiny and needy and felt so small in my arms. But now with a little less than seven pounds of newborn in my arms Camryn looked like Godzilla trapsing through the room, knocking over the table tray and tangling my I.V. Perception is such a funny thing. And although it was obvious to me that Cam was no longer a baby, to her she was still my baby and this little wrapped up thing I was holding would need to move so she could jump into my lap. It was chaotic and stressful, making sure she didn't hurt the baby and trying to get a family photo without Natalie getting injured. I was of course emotional with all my hormones going haywire and it wasn't long before my mom took the older two girls and left. Although I was so happy to have Nat, I did have what I guess you could call "buyer's remorse". Did we do the right thing? Is this really what our family needed? I just wasn't sure.
The first couple of months were hard, as with any newborn. But when you have a newborn AND Cam-a-rama things can be downright dangerous. I had to be on watch every nano-second that Camryn was never alone with the baby. Even trying to be nice and kiss her could very easily seriously hurt Natalie, as Camryn knows nothing about "soft touches". There was alot of crying, from Natalie, Camryn...me. But seeing Mason interact with Nat was so cool and also seeing that Camryn was kind of forced to become more independent the best she could and that she was actually capable of it. I might still be babying her to this day had I not had another actual baby to tend to.
So here we are five years later and I know without a doubt we made the right decision. I'm not going to lie, it has been difficult with Camryn being the middle child. Natalie has been hurt more times than I can count by her big sister, but now that she is bigger she is able to start defending herself, which helps. Mason and Nat are super close, despite the five year age difference and I am so happy for Mason that she has a playmate at home. Seeing Natalie grow and develop has been bittersweet. Of course I held my breath for months, anxious to see her meet each milestone and constantly checking that she made eye contact. She is exactly where she should be for her age and I am so thrilled, yet it has been sombering to see her pass her older sister developmentally,doing things with ease Camryn has yet to master.
She actually helps with Camryn now, talking to her like she is the older sister and "reading" to her, trying to help her calm down when she is in a tantrum. She has been a God send literally and I cannot imagine what life would be like without her.
And so when she and Mason are grown and their friends are reminiscing with their own siblings about the time they snuck out or stole a lollipop, Mace and Nat can turn to each other and say " Remember all the babygates in the house, the lock on the refrigerator and how we couldn't keep liquid soap out?" And they will both know exactly what the other is talking about! And that was the plan all along!
Happy Birthday Nat!! We love you :)
When Camryn was three and the label of autism was stuck firmly in place, it was painfully obvious that her future would not be like Mason's and their relationship would be nowhere near what I had imagined. The idea of growing older and not being able to care for Camryn as an adult scared the s**t out of me and the thought of Mason having to take on the responsibility of her sister when we were gone scared me even more. Although she loves Camryn with all her heart, I know she has dreams and plans of her own and the last thing I want is for her to have to put her life on hold to take care of her sister. And long before she was grown I knew there would be struggles and emotions that none of her friends would understand unless they too lived in a house that autism built.
The decision to have another baby was not made overnight, no pun intended. Brad and I thought about it for quite a while, stressing over the fact that already having a child with autism raised our chances of having another on the spectrum, not a dramatic amount but enough to be concerned about. We also knew that it would be a tremendous amount of work adding an infant to the mix, as Camryn was like a baby herself at that time as well as very aggressive and having a newborn in the house was going to be risky. On the other hand we felt for Mason being the only other kid in the house and dealing on a daily basis with the ugliness and stress of autism. For her to have another sibling to play with, talk to, create memories with and to understand what she goes through would make such a difference in her life and so with that idea we decided to put our money down and place our bet. Nine months later we won big with the birth of Natalie Eva Walker.
Mason was five when Nat was born and Camryn was three. And even at three, Camryn was still very much a baby. With her not really talking that much, still in diapers and sleeping in a crib, she was like an infant herself and I worried how this was going to work out. I will never forget when my mom brought Mace and Cam to the hospital to visit their newborn sister. I was holding Nat, so tiny and petite swaddled nice and warm in the crook of my arm and Brad in the chair next to me, when the hospital room door flung open and in clamored Camryn. She looked as if she had eaten one of Alice's mushrooms and grown a few feet taller overnight. For the past three years she had been my little baby. Though chronlogically a preshooler, she had seemed so tiny and needy and felt so small in my arms. But now with a little less than seven pounds of newborn in my arms Camryn looked like Godzilla trapsing through the room, knocking over the table tray and tangling my I.V. Perception is such a funny thing. And although it was obvious to me that Cam was no longer a baby, to her she was still my baby and this little wrapped up thing I was holding would need to move so she could jump into my lap. It was chaotic and stressful, making sure she didn't hurt the baby and trying to get a family photo without Natalie getting injured. I was of course emotional with all my hormones going haywire and it wasn't long before my mom took the older two girls and left. Although I was so happy to have Nat, I did have what I guess you could call "buyer's remorse". Did we do the right thing? Is this really what our family needed? I just wasn't sure.
The first couple of months were hard, as with any newborn. But when you have a newborn AND Cam-a-rama things can be downright dangerous. I had to be on watch every nano-second that Camryn was never alone with the baby. Even trying to be nice and kiss her could very easily seriously hurt Natalie, as Camryn knows nothing about "soft touches". There was alot of crying, from Natalie, Camryn...me. But seeing Mason interact with Nat was so cool and also seeing that Camryn was kind of forced to become more independent the best she could and that she was actually capable of it. I might still be babying her to this day had I not had another actual baby to tend to.
So here we are five years later and I know without a doubt we made the right decision. I'm not going to lie, it has been difficult with Camryn being the middle child. Natalie has been hurt more times than I can count by her big sister, but now that she is bigger she is able to start defending herself, which helps. Mason and Nat are super close, despite the five year age difference and I am so happy for Mason that she has a playmate at home. Seeing Natalie grow and develop has been bittersweet. Of course I held my breath for months, anxious to see her meet each milestone and constantly checking that she made eye contact. She is exactly where she should be for her age and I am so thrilled, yet it has been sombering to see her pass her older sister developmentally,doing things with ease Camryn has yet to master.
She actually helps with Camryn now, talking to her like she is the older sister and "reading" to her, trying to help her calm down when she is in a tantrum. She has been a God send literally and I cannot imagine what life would be like without her.
And so when she and Mason are grown and their friends are reminiscing with their own siblings about the time they snuck out or stole a lollipop, Mace and Nat can turn to each other and say " Remember all the babygates in the house, the lock on the refrigerator and how we couldn't keep liquid soap out?" And they will both know exactly what the other is talking about! And that was the plan all along!
Happy Birthday Nat!! We love you :)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Just Another Day At The Farm
The last time I was brought to tears while out shopping with Camryn was 2005. An elderly un"gentleman" in Publix let me know how annoying my daughter's screams were, special needs or not. I was still a lightweight at the time and broke down crying as the cashier proceeded to scan my items. Dry spell ended today, but ya gotta have rain sometime right? Any good farmer will tell you that!
It started clouding up about four o'clock this afternoon during an impromptu, should have known wayyyy better, trip to Target. Camryn had been at camp all day and Mason and I spent the day shopping for school clothes and presents for Natalie's birthday next week. Nat is spending a few days with my mother-in-law so it's just the two girls. Brad called to say he'd be late and since I had already achieved super cool mom status for all the cute clothes I bought Mason, I thought why not go for Mom of the month and suggest pizza for dinner? Target has a great fresh pizza so I told Mace after we picked up Cam we would stop off and get one on the way home. Sounds innocent enough right?
We got Cam and she was......Cam. I have gotten smart(er) over the years and had a bag of M&M's and a bottle of water waiting for her in the car. She can be pretty hard to deal with after camp if there is no snack waiting. She ate all but one M&M, a blue one,which she decided to suck on until the shell became soft and then took it out of her mouth, smashed it up in her hand and then proceeded to rub the melted chocolate all over my right arm laying helplessly there on the console. Yep, love those car rides. When we pulled in the parking lot I told Mace we would only be in there for minute as we had been out all day and I wanted to get home. I put Cam in the cart and bravely entered through the automatic doors. I needed laundry detergent and that happens to be located dangerously close to the dog bone aisle and well, you all know what that means. Cam started to stand up in the cart screaming "I wanna give Ry-Ry a treat!!" and I thought "Oh hell, this is going down hill much faster than expected. I handed her a bag of bones and hurried off to the grocery section. Well the pizzas are right next to the Lunchables and it has been my practice for quite some time now to always buy the kids a Lunchable while shopping in Target to keep them quiet. So naturally Camryn saw them and began to shout out "Do you want a lunchable sweetie!!!!!" I grabbed her one, tore off the wrapper and knew I had to move fast. Mace picked out a pizza, I threw some water in the cart and was almost out of the store when I had the brilliant idea of "just checking out" the clearance toy section to see if there was anything Natalie may like. Am I ever going to learn???? Doesn't seem likely. We start winding up and down the aisles and Camryn started to stand in the cart again. She really is way too big to be in the cart but I like her confined when we shop. I tell her to sit but I may as well have been talking to the cart because she is still towering above me lunging for things on the shelves. I got her on her bottom again by handing her a singing Cookie Monster toy. Knowing we needed to leave immediately I wheeled us up to the register and of course the lines were all at least three deep. And there must have been a contest to see who could buy the most "little" things. I swear the lady in front of us had to have had about thirty small items and the lady next to her maybe forty. Camryn was getting very restless and I was trying to prevent a meltdown. But that would be like trying to put a cork in Mt. St. Helens. Camryn was pushing Cookie Monsters hand over and over and over making it sing "Old Macdonald" repeatedly. Mason asked if I was buying it and I said I didn't care how much money it was there was no way that thing was entering our home. Well Cams had a different idea, a very different idea. She wanted that Cookie Monster and not only did she want it, she wanted it right then,as in scanned by the cashier at that very moment which was impossible because the cashier was only on item number fifteen out of thirty belonging to the lady in front of us. But Cams was like "whateva!!" She stood up in the cart again and started fussing " Do you want the lady to pay for it honey?" It was getting sooo ugly. I lifted her out of the cart and she clamored past the lady in front of us and shoved Cookie Monster in the cashiers face. And may I might add, our cashier had a severe personality deficit. I grabbed Camryn by the arm and said the six little words that piss her off more than anything..."You have to wait your turn." Well, Camryn Faith Walker does not wait her turn. Or wait her turn quietly I should say. She started crying and shouting out "Pay for it honey!!! Do you want to pay for it sweetie!!!" The stares started and I held my head high as I have learned to do. But my God, it seemed like the items the woman bought in front of us had multiplied on the conveyor belt. I knew it was going to be a few minutes before it was our turn. Cookie Monster kept singing "Old McDonald" and Camryn kept shouting out that she wanted to pay for it and I pulled every trick I could think of out of my sleeves. I may as well have been wearing a tank top as nothing was working. I felt like the crowd was growing and Camryn's screams seemed to get louder. I would have tried to console her and talk her down but you see, that my friends is like the old pouring gasoline on a fire thing. It only makes it worse, so I just stood there praying our turn would come soon. And it did, but that didn't quiet Camryn. She shoved the Cookie Monster in the cashiers face again shouting "Pay for it honey!!" "I wanna hold him!" Well, remember how I had said I wasn't buying it? Oh I was buying it and you would think that would have solved the problem but Camryn wanted to hold it and apparently it's value is somewhere right up there with the Hope diamond because the damn thing was held into the box with about a million plastic twisty ties wrapped around about twenty times each! And I was still trying to load my items from the cart. By this time I had given up trying to calm Camryn and thought "F*** it!" I just stood there as my daughter thrashed and screamed and cried and shouted and the whole store stared. I paid for my things, grabbed Camryn by the arm and looked everybody in the eye as we walked past. And I probably should have just left it like that, but that would have been way too dignified. Instead, I stopped the cart, announced that "She's autistic for all of you who are staring!" pulled my shades down and cried all the way to the car. Mason didn't know. Cam's didn't know.And Cookie Monster didn't give a rat's a**. He was still singing about Old McDonald. I got everything loaded in the car, composed myself and drove home.
As soon as we opened the door Camryn took Cookie Monster into her bedroom, tossed him in a bucket, told him good night and left the room. What the ????? Uuuugghhhh I wanted to scream!! I texted Brad that I was certain I would be on the news at some point in the near future.
So Cookie Monster is still in the bucket and Old McDonald is nowhere to be found. But let me tell you something. Old McDonald may have had a farm and on that farm he may have had a pig and a cow with an oink oink here and a moo moo there but let me tell you what Old McDonald didn't have. He did not have an autistic child because if he did the song we all know and love would instead go as follows :
"Old McDonald had a funny farm, Crazy,Loony man. With a scream scream here and a poopy pullup there, here a pinch, there a bite, waking up all hours of the night, Old McDonald had a funny farm, Crazy,Loony man.
Sing that Cookie!!!
It started clouding up about four o'clock this afternoon during an impromptu, should have known wayyyy better, trip to Target. Camryn had been at camp all day and Mason and I spent the day shopping for school clothes and presents for Natalie's birthday next week. Nat is spending a few days with my mother-in-law so it's just the two girls. Brad called to say he'd be late and since I had already achieved super cool mom status for all the cute clothes I bought Mason, I thought why not go for Mom of the month and suggest pizza for dinner? Target has a great fresh pizza so I told Mace after we picked up Cam we would stop off and get one on the way home. Sounds innocent enough right?
We got Cam and she was......Cam. I have gotten smart(er) over the years and had a bag of M&M's and a bottle of water waiting for her in the car. She can be pretty hard to deal with after camp if there is no snack waiting. She ate all but one M&M, a blue one,which she decided to suck on until the shell became soft and then took it out of her mouth, smashed it up in her hand and then proceeded to rub the melted chocolate all over my right arm laying helplessly there on the console. Yep, love those car rides. When we pulled in the parking lot I told Mace we would only be in there for minute as we had been out all day and I wanted to get home. I put Cam in the cart and bravely entered through the automatic doors. I needed laundry detergent and that happens to be located dangerously close to the dog bone aisle and well, you all know what that means. Cam started to stand up in the cart screaming "I wanna give Ry-Ry a treat!!" and I thought "Oh hell, this is going down hill much faster than expected. I handed her a bag of bones and hurried off to the grocery section. Well the pizzas are right next to the Lunchables and it has been my practice for quite some time now to always buy the kids a Lunchable while shopping in Target to keep them quiet. So naturally Camryn saw them and began to shout out "Do you want a lunchable sweetie!!!!!" I grabbed her one, tore off the wrapper and knew I had to move fast. Mace picked out a pizza, I threw some water in the cart and was almost out of the store when I had the brilliant idea of "just checking out" the clearance toy section to see if there was anything Natalie may like. Am I ever going to learn???? Doesn't seem likely. We start winding up and down the aisles and Camryn started to stand in the cart again. She really is way too big to be in the cart but I like her confined when we shop. I tell her to sit but I may as well have been talking to the cart because she is still towering above me lunging for things on the shelves. I got her on her bottom again by handing her a singing Cookie Monster toy. Knowing we needed to leave immediately I wheeled us up to the register and of course the lines were all at least three deep. And there must have been a contest to see who could buy the most "little" things. I swear the lady in front of us had to have had about thirty small items and the lady next to her maybe forty. Camryn was getting very restless and I was trying to prevent a meltdown. But that would be like trying to put a cork in Mt. St. Helens. Camryn was pushing Cookie Monsters hand over and over and over making it sing "Old Macdonald" repeatedly. Mason asked if I was buying it and I said I didn't care how much money it was there was no way that thing was entering our home. Well Cams had a different idea, a very different idea. She wanted that Cookie Monster and not only did she want it, she wanted it right then,as in scanned by the cashier at that very moment which was impossible because the cashier was only on item number fifteen out of thirty belonging to the lady in front of us. But Cams was like "whateva!!" She stood up in the cart again and started fussing " Do you want the lady to pay for it honey?" It was getting sooo ugly. I lifted her out of the cart and she clamored past the lady in front of us and shoved Cookie Monster in the cashiers face. And may I might add, our cashier had a severe personality deficit. I grabbed Camryn by the arm and said the six little words that piss her off more than anything..."You have to wait your turn." Well, Camryn Faith Walker does not wait her turn. Or wait her turn quietly I should say. She started crying and shouting out "Pay for it honey!!! Do you want to pay for it sweetie!!!" The stares started and I held my head high as I have learned to do. But my God, it seemed like the items the woman bought in front of us had multiplied on the conveyor belt. I knew it was going to be a few minutes before it was our turn. Cookie Monster kept singing "Old McDonald" and Camryn kept shouting out that she wanted to pay for it and I pulled every trick I could think of out of my sleeves. I may as well have been wearing a tank top as nothing was working. I felt like the crowd was growing and Camryn's screams seemed to get louder. I would have tried to console her and talk her down but you see, that my friends is like the old pouring gasoline on a fire thing. It only makes it worse, so I just stood there praying our turn would come soon. And it did, but that didn't quiet Camryn. She shoved the Cookie Monster in the cashiers face again shouting "Pay for it honey!!" "I wanna hold him!" Well, remember how I had said I wasn't buying it? Oh I was buying it and you would think that would have solved the problem but Camryn wanted to hold it and apparently it's value is somewhere right up there with the Hope diamond because the damn thing was held into the box with about a million plastic twisty ties wrapped around about twenty times each! And I was still trying to load my items from the cart. By this time I had given up trying to calm Camryn and thought "F*** it!" I just stood there as my daughter thrashed and screamed and cried and shouted and the whole store stared. I paid for my things, grabbed Camryn by the arm and looked everybody in the eye as we walked past. And I probably should have just left it like that, but that would have been way too dignified. Instead, I stopped the cart, announced that "She's autistic for all of you who are staring!" pulled my shades down and cried all the way to the car. Mason didn't know. Cam's didn't know.And Cookie Monster didn't give a rat's a**. He was still singing about Old McDonald. I got everything loaded in the car, composed myself and drove home.
As soon as we opened the door Camryn took Cookie Monster into her bedroom, tossed him in a bucket, told him good night and left the room. What the ????? Uuuugghhhh I wanted to scream!! I texted Brad that I was certain I would be on the news at some point in the near future.
So Cookie Monster is still in the bucket and Old McDonald is nowhere to be found. But let me tell you something. Old McDonald may have had a farm and on that farm he may have had a pig and a cow with an oink oink here and a moo moo there but let me tell you what Old McDonald didn't have. He did not have an autistic child because if he did the song we all know and love would instead go as follows :
"Old McDonald had a funny farm, Crazy,Loony man. With a scream scream here and a poopy pullup there, here a pinch, there a bite, waking up all hours of the night, Old McDonald had a funny farm, Crazy,Loony man.
Sing that Cookie!!!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Driving Me Crazy!!
I swear one day I am going to look in my rearview mirror and see a line of patrol cars following me, lights on, bullhorn out the window instructing me to pull over immediately and get out of the car with my hands in the air. Did I rob a bank? No, but if I can't find ABA therapy more affordable somewhere I just may buy a Nixon mask and go for it. Do I have drugs in my car? No, but with the way my rides go it sounds very tempting. No, somebody will have called to report a possible child abduction. What else could be the explanation for the young girl in the front seat next to me screaming and pounding her fists on the window trying to escape? Biting her hands and feet must have been her way of calling attention to our car so someone could call for help, right? I'm telling you, it's going to happen and you know what? I just might go with it! "Umm yeah, I did kidnap her, you are absolutely right! Are you taking me to jail now? Please??!"
I absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being hate driving Camryn anywhere these days! Used to be taking a drive was one of the only things that would calm her down. I would pile the kids in the old suburban and ride around town for as long as we could stand because it was the only place that Camryn was quiet and peaceful. She would look out the window and bob her head back and forth to the music giving the other girls and I a much needed reprieve from her screaming and tantrums. But for the past several months transporting this child anywhere has turned into pure and utter hell!
When we purchased our very large vehicle five years ago we did it with the thought process that Camryn would not be able to reach her sisters and hurt them. HA!!! Little did we know that unless we were to purchase a bus Camryn would find a way to torture Mason and Natalie while I was behind the wheel. I sit them in the last row and put Cam in the middle row and guess what? She reaches behind her and pinches, hits, whatever she can do to hurt them. I swear I don't know how she does it! Try as I may to rid the car of missiles, they make their way in somehow and go flying through the air aimed straight for little heads and bodies. To make things easier for Mace and Nat I have moved Camryn up front, where she plays out her shenanigans on me while I'm trying to manuever our land yacht through traffic. She pinches me, opens the glovebox and empties it out, screams for gum then hands me a stringy chewed up wad of it two seconds later screaming for a new piece. She tries to unlock her door, she pushes any buttons she can reach on the dash and last Friday threw her backpack at my head as I was making my way down a very wet highway. And they say texting while driving is dangerous!! She bangs her fists on her window and screams at the top of her lungs. After she threw hew backpack at me she slumped down in her seat, pulled her feet to her mouth and pulled her socks off her feet with her teeth! Yes, with her teeth!!!! I just kept repeating out loud to myself "Breathe, just breath, just breathe". It is frickin' ridiculous that I should have to endure this every day of my life just trying to take my kid to camp!
While I'm on the road I see all the other cars passing by. This guy on his cell phone, that woman in a daze sipping her coffee. I have to laugh when I see them do a double take at my car passing by with Camryn banging her head on the back of her seat and biting her ankles. But in all seriousness it can be very depressing. And poor Mason and Natalie! They can't even ride in the car without constantly being reminded that our family is very different from most. The screaming is so loud you can almost feel your eardrum perforating one stitch at a time. Used to be Michael Buble could calm her down but my CD's got scratched and I haven't replaced them yet so I have to rely on a Disney CD and a few stories on CD, but even that is hit and miss. It is miserable, just plain miserable and I have to keep telling myself "Just twenty more minutes and then you have seven hours before you have to do this again."
I see all these cars go by with those little stick figure family decals showing how many kids they have. All the figures are smiling, some are wearing Mickey Mouse ears, and I just want to barf. No offense to anybody who has these, as some of my very good friends do, but when you are driving down the road while your kid is trying to eat the dashboard these things tend to tick you off just a tad! I picture a stick person version of our family...Mom in the fetal position, Dad pulling his hair out, two small figures in triangle dresses with their hands over their ears and the third figure with a huge circle for her mouth screaming, her hair going every which way and a stick figure dog cowering under a table. Seen that sticker anywhere? Didn't think so.
Right now I am getting ready to take Mason and Natalie to the beach and I gotta tell you, I am really looking forward to it. It will take us about twenty minutes to get there if all goes well but if the drawbridge gets stuck and we have to wait for a mother duck and her twenty ducklings to cross and there's a construction detour and a school zone and a ninety year old woman from Canada sitting on phone books in front of us it will all be okay with me because I have driven with Camryn and if that doesn't bring on some road rage nothing will!
I absolutely, positively, with every fiber of my being hate driving Camryn anywhere these days! Used to be taking a drive was one of the only things that would calm her down. I would pile the kids in the old suburban and ride around town for as long as we could stand because it was the only place that Camryn was quiet and peaceful. She would look out the window and bob her head back and forth to the music giving the other girls and I a much needed reprieve from her screaming and tantrums. But for the past several months transporting this child anywhere has turned into pure and utter hell!
When we purchased our very large vehicle five years ago we did it with the thought process that Camryn would not be able to reach her sisters and hurt them. HA!!! Little did we know that unless we were to purchase a bus Camryn would find a way to torture Mason and Natalie while I was behind the wheel. I sit them in the last row and put Cam in the middle row and guess what? She reaches behind her and pinches, hits, whatever she can do to hurt them. I swear I don't know how she does it! Try as I may to rid the car of missiles, they make their way in somehow and go flying through the air aimed straight for little heads and bodies. To make things easier for Mace and Nat I have moved Camryn up front, where she plays out her shenanigans on me while I'm trying to manuever our land yacht through traffic. She pinches me, opens the glovebox and empties it out, screams for gum then hands me a stringy chewed up wad of it two seconds later screaming for a new piece. She tries to unlock her door, she pushes any buttons she can reach on the dash and last Friday threw her backpack at my head as I was making my way down a very wet highway. And they say texting while driving is dangerous!! She bangs her fists on her window and screams at the top of her lungs. After she threw hew backpack at me she slumped down in her seat, pulled her feet to her mouth and pulled her socks off her feet with her teeth! Yes, with her teeth!!!! I just kept repeating out loud to myself "Breathe, just breath, just breathe". It is frickin' ridiculous that I should have to endure this every day of my life just trying to take my kid to camp!
While I'm on the road I see all the other cars passing by. This guy on his cell phone, that woman in a daze sipping her coffee. I have to laugh when I see them do a double take at my car passing by with Camryn banging her head on the back of her seat and biting her ankles. But in all seriousness it can be very depressing. And poor Mason and Natalie! They can't even ride in the car without constantly being reminded that our family is very different from most. The screaming is so loud you can almost feel your eardrum perforating one stitch at a time. Used to be Michael Buble could calm her down but my CD's got scratched and I haven't replaced them yet so I have to rely on a Disney CD and a few stories on CD, but even that is hit and miss. It is miserable, just plain miserable and I have to keep telling myself "Just twenty more minutes and then you have seven hours before you have to do this again."
I see all these cars go by with those little stick figure family decals showing how many kids they have. All the figures are smiling, some are wearing Mickey Mouse ears, and I just want to barf. No offense to anybody who has these, as some of my very good friends do, but when you are driving down the road while your kid is trying to eat the dashboard these things tend to tick you off just a tad! I picture a stick person version of our family...Mom in the fetal position, Dad pulling his hair out, two small figures in triangle dresses with their hands over their ears and the third figure with a huge circle for her mouth screaming, her hair going every which way and a stick figure dog cowering under a table. Seen that sticker anywhere? Didn't think so.
Right now I am getting ready to take Mason and Natalie to the beach and I gotta tell you, I am really looking forward to it. It will take us about twenty minutes to get there if all goes well but if the drawbridge gets stuck and we have to wait for a mother duck and her twenty ducklings to cross and there's a construction detour and a school zone and a ninety year old woman from Canada sitting on phone books in front of us it will all be okay with me because I have driven with Camryn and if that doesn't bring on some road rage nothing will!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Something New
So I went to the wedding and it was so much more than I imagined. Again, shame on me for thinking it would be any less than other weddings I've been to just because the groom walks to a different beat.
The wedding and reception were both held at the same location, a local golf and country club. When we arrived we were directed to wait in the bar area until the wedding party was ready. I could see the chairs set up outside in front of a small gazebo with the golf course and a small pond in the background. I was standing there talking with my mom when I heard a familiar voice. It was Steven. He was dressed in a light blue, short sleeved, Tommy Bahama style shirt and khaki pants. He came over to me and gave me a humongous hug, something he is known for. I told him how handsome he looked and how happy I was for him to which he replied with a smile "Uh-huh, yep". My aunt and her partner were right behind him ready to go out to the courtyard. We were directed to take a seat outside as the wedding would soon be starting. Each guest had been given a fan with the happy couples picture on it as a wedding memento And what a smart momento for an outdoor Florida wedding in June. Brad and I sat in the front row, as I didn't want to miss a thing. The music started and Steven came down the concrete walkway with my aunt and her partner each holding his hand. He looked so handsome and so happy, smiling ear to ear. They stood by him in the gazebo and looked on with him as his bride came from behind the doors and walked down the aisle on her father's arm. Never one to get dressed up or wear makeup, she looked beautiful in her white gown and painted face. I looked back at Steven, wanting to see his face, and he looked like a little kid being brought a pony. He was so happy! When she began to climb the steps to the gazebo Steven started to cry and I thought I was going to lose it right then and there. They took each others hands, read their vows and then kissed. It was beautiful!!
Back inside at the reception we got ourselves a drink and some appetizers while the wedding party took pictures. The tables were decorated with metal sandpails filled with bright colored Gerbera Daisys and pastel roses. We made our way to our seats just in time for Steven and his bride to enter the room as husband and wife and to have their first dance. Tears were already welling in the rims of my eyes before the music started, but when Stevie Wonder's "For Once In My Life" began to play and Steven put his hands on his wife's waist and started clumsily bouncing back and forth the floodgates opened. I was a mess! You'd think I was at a funeral and the casket had just passed by. It was just such an amazing sight to see this man who I never thought in a million years would get married "dancing" with his new bride to a song that pretty much says it all. It was extremely emotional. So they finish their dance and then Steven's mom comes out to the floor. I had sopped up all my tears with my dinner napkin, but I should have waited because no sooner had I dabbed the last one when Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" came on as Steven hugged his mom and kissed her cheek repeatedly on the dance floor. OMG!!! I couldn't take it!!! Everyone was laughing at me as I broke down in my seat. It was just so touching and such a rare sight. I felt so honored to be there. And if I may say, Brad had some tears of his own, I mean come now, this is our world.
Dancing done, it was time for the toasts. The brides brother gave a humorous speech about how his sister chose the most inoppportune moment to tell him she had found "the one". Seems he was getting ready to score big on his video game when she interrupted him with her big news. He talked about how much he loved Steven and was so happy for them. Then Steven's father gave a speech, which again turned on the waterworks. He told about how when Steven was just four years old he could map his way out to Disneyworld and back. He talked about what a cute little guy he was and how smart he was and how happy he was for the couple. Then my aunts gave their toast. They both stood with Steven and his wife. They talked about how the one thing they loved most about Steven was his innocence and how he had changed their lives so much and how much they loved him. It was beautiful.
After that it was time to party!!! They picked such awesome music....lots of oldies, Tony Bennet, Stevie Wonder, Frank Sinatra. Then after everyone had eaten the DJ broke out the dancing tunes. And I love me some dancing music. Brad and I hit the floor, cutting a rug to "Brick House", "I Will Survive", and "Superfreak". And Steven was right out there, dancing away. The thing with Steven is that like everything else he does, he has his own way of dancing. He likes to take you by both hands and spin around. It can get out of control quite easily and has. My aunt and him went over a ledge once! He also likes to bounce back and forth or form a line with everyones hands on each others waist and kick legs. So that's what we did. It was so much fun!
When it came time to cut the cake, the DJ was teasing Steven about being the first one to feed the cake so he better be nice if he didn't want cake in his face. But Steven didn't "get it". You see, it would never even cross his mind to smear cake on his new brides face. He placed it gently in her mouth and when it was her turn he squinted his eyes as tight as he could and opened up wide....adorable!!
We danced for hours. Sweat was pouring off me. I didn't expect to have such a good time! We stayed for the last song, which happened to be Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". We were all out there on the floor "Mama Mia"ing and looking like a bad Broadway show. It was hilarious!
Before we left I went over to Steven and hugged him as tight as I could. I told him again how much I loved him and how happy I was for him. "You did such a good job tonight and you look so handsome!" I told him. I didn't want to let him go. "You have a fabulous time in Paris and take lots of pictures!!!" Which if you know Steven, then you know there will be LOTS of pictures. "Bon Jour!!" I said as we left.
Driving home we all talked about what fun we had and what a fabulous wedding it was. We were all surprised at the fun we had and isn't that a surprise in itself! You'd think us of all people would know not to judge.
So Steven is in Paris. He called my aunts when they arrived to let them know they were there. I can't wait to hear all about it and see the pictures. I still cannot believe he is on his honeymoon...in PARIS!!! It just goes to show you that you never know. That silly old cricket was right, dreams really do come true. And I am so thankful I was there to see it happen!!
The wedding and reception were both held at the same location, a local golf and country club. When we arrived we were directed to wait in the bar area until the wedding party was ready. I could see the chairs set up outside in front of a small gazebo with the golf course and a small pond in the background. I was standing there talking with my mom when I heard a familiar voice. It was Steven. He was dressed in a light blue, short sleeved, Tommy Bahama style shirt and khaki pants. He came over to me and gave me a humongous hug, something he is known for. I told him how handsome he looked and how happy I was for him to which he replied with a smile "Uh-huh, yep". My aunt and her partner were right behind him ready to go out to the courtyard. We were directed to take a seat outside as the wedding would soon be starting. Each guest had been given a fan with the happy couples picture on it as a wedding memento And what a smart momento for an outdoor Florida wedding in June. Brad and I sat in the front row, as I didn't want to miss a thing. The music started and Steven came down the concrete walkway with my aunt and her partner each holding his hand. He looked so handsome and so happy, smiling ear to ear. They stood by him in the gazebo and looked on with him as his bride came from behind the doors and walked down the aisle on her father's arm. Never one to get dressed up or wear makeup, she looked beautiful in her white gown and painted face. I looked back at Steven, wanting to see his face, and he looked like a little kid being brought a pony. He was so happy! When she began to climb the steps to the gazebo Steven started to cry and I thought I was going to lose it right then and there. They took each others hands, read their vows and then kissed. It was beautiful!!
Back inside at the reception we got ourselves a drink and some appetizers while the wedding party took pictures. The tables were decorated with metal sandpails filled with bright colored Gerbera Daisys and pastel roses. We made our way to our seats just in time for Steven and his bride to enter the room as husband and wife and to have their first dance. Tears were already welling in the rims of my eyes before the music started, but when Stevie Wonder's "For Once In My Life" began to play and Steven put his hands on his wife's waist and started clumsily bouncing back and forth the floodgates opened. I was a mess! You'd think I was at a funeral and the casket had just passed by. It was just such an amazing sight to see this man who I never thought in a million years would get married "dancing" with his new bride to a song that pretty much says it all. It was extremely emotional. So they finish their dance and then Steven's mom comes out to the floor. I had sopped up all my tears with my dinner napkin, but I should have waited because no sooner had I dabbed the last one when Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" came on as Steven hugged his mom and kissed her cheek repeatedly on the dance floor. OMG!!! I couldn't take it!!! Everyone was laughing at me as I broke down in my seat. It was just so touching and such a rare sight. I felt so honored to be there. And if I may say, Brad had some tears of his own, I mean come now, this is our world.
Dancing done, it was time for the toasts. The brides brother gave a humorous speech about how his sister chose the most inoppportune moment to tell him she had found "the one". Seems he was getting ready to score big on his video game when she interrupted him with her big news. He talked about how much he loved Steven and was so happy for them. Then Steven's father gave a speech, which again turned on the waterworks. He told about how when Steven was just four years old he could map his way out to Disneyworld and back. He talked about what a cute little guy he was and how smart he was and how happy he was for the couple. Then my aunts gave their toast. They both stood with Steven and his wife. They talked about how the one thing they loved most about Steven was his innocence and how he had changed their lives so much and how much they loved him. It was beautiful.
After that it was time to party!!! They picked such awesome music....lots of oldies, Tony Bennet, Stevie Wonder, Frank Sinatra. Then after everyone had eaten the DJ broke out the dancing tunes. And I love me some dancing music. Brad and I hit the floor, cutting a rug to "Brick House", "I Will Survive", and "Superfreak". And Steven was right out there, dancing away. The thing with Steven is that like everything else he does, he has his own way of dancing. He likes to take you by both hands and spin around. It can get out of control quite easily and has. My aunt and him went over a ledge once! He also likes to bounce back and forth or form a line with everyones hands on each others waist and kick legs. So that's what we did. It was so much fun!
When it came time to cut the cake, the DJ was teasing Steven about being the first one to feed the cake so he better be nice if he didn't want cake in his face. But Steven didn't "get it". You see, it would never even cross his mind to smear cake on his new brides face. He placed it gently in her mouth and when it was her turn he squinted his eyes as tight as he could and opened up wide....adorable!!
We danced for hours. Sweat was pouring off me. I didn't expect to have such a good time! We stayed for the last song, which happened to be Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". We were all out there on the floor "Mama Mia"ing and looking like a bad Broadway show. It was hilarious!
Before we left I went over to Steven and hugged him as tight as I could. I told him again how much I loved him and how happy I was for him. "You did such a good job tonight and you look so handsome!" I told him. I didn't want to let him go. "You have a fabulous time in Paris and take lots of pictures!!!" Which if you know Steven, then you know there will be LOTS of pictures. "Bon Jour!!" I said as we left.
Driving home we all talked about what fun we had and what a fabulous wedding it was. We were all surprised at the fun we had and isn't that a surprise in itself! You'd think us of all people would know not to judge.
So Steven is in Paris. He called my aunts when they arrived to let them know they were there. I can't wait to hear all about it and see the pictures. I still cannot believe he is on his honeymoon...in PARIS!!! It just goes to show you that you never know. That silly old cricket was right, dreams really do come true. And I am so thankful I was there to see it happen!!
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