Dog treats

So I just got back from Publix with Camryn. The other two girsl are with my mom, but because Camryn will not sleep anywhere but her own room, she can't go on sleepovers with her sisters. I will get into that in another blog. Anyhow, Cams and I went to the store to buy dog food, among a few other things. Anybody who knows Camryn knows that she has this crazy obsession with dog food. Even before we had a dog she would take handfuls of it from my mother-in-laws dogs bowl and carry it in her hand for hours. Never once trying to put it in her mouth, she would squeeze it tightly in her clenched fist and sometimes open her hand to look at it. She shouts it out in public places at the most inopportune times..." I like wet food!" " I like dog food!" Oh yeah, she wants to tell the world how she feels about kibble, meanwhile I just keep pushing the cart, pretending it didn't happen. When we got a dog of our own it was as if someone had bought her a pony because now in our garage was a bright yellow, 10 lb. bag filled to the rim with dog food!! And to make it even more exciting we have dog treats in the pantry, which also thrill her to no end. You may have caught on Facebook how she picked a bag of "Beggin Strips" on her birthday and then brought the bag with us to the dinner table at T.G.I.F.'s, making an already memorable for the all the wrong reasons outing even more so.
So we're at Publix, Cams is riding in the cart with bench attached to it, you know the one you need a CDL to operate, because that's how Cam rolls, literally. I'm tossing things into the cart, she's busy with a cookie and for all pratical purposes, it's going well. THEN, we turn down the dog food aisle. Immediately she hands me her cookie saying "All done, all done" and starts flapping her arms and grimacing her face. No big deal, this is "norm" for us. As she's shouting " Beggin Strips, Riley (our dog) Beggin Strips" I grab a bag of bones. She pushes my hand back toward the shelf as her way of telling me she doesn't want this kind. She then takes my hand and places it on a bag of bones with a Golden Retriever on the front. "Bailey and Buddy" she says. Thpse are the names of my brothers dogs who are in fact Golden Retreivers. I hand her the bag, she is flipping out in excitement and we head to the register. Of course, there is a wait at every line and I start to panic because I know what's brewing. While shopping with Camryn used to be a breeze, her meltdowns have made it more like a tornado. You know there is potential for one, so you keep it in the back of your mind, but when it actually happens you have very little warning before stuff hits the fan. Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes. In the past, Camryn couldn't care less when we approached the register. She would just sit in the cart and keep saying (loudly) the the cashier "We have to pay for it. Say thank you" which resulted in some odd looks but over time the staff came to know us and Camryn and it was no big deal.
But lately, if I take Camryn to the store, we MUST buy dog treats and when it comes time to pay, there shall be no waiting! She wants to pay for the treats immediately, which can pose a problem when you have a woman buying a months worth of groceries in front of you. Well, today there was no monthly grocery trip holding us up, but there were only three registers open and each one had about twenty items to ring up before it would be our turn. My gut started tightening. Camryn started with " Let's pay for them,let's pay for them". To which I replied " We will, let's wait our turn." Look at the balloons! Is that Elmo?" I was desperate to distract her. You know how you have days when you are super confident and it doesn't matter what anyone says or how they look at you, nothing's gonna shake you? Well, today...not one of those days.  She wasn't falling for the old balloon bit and by this time had unbuckeld from the seat and was heading towards the conveyor belt. The cashier was halfway through ringing up the man in front of us who, I hate to judge people on their looks, but was an ass with no tolerance for kids of the normal variety let alone one who mixes it up a bit. There were about 5 of his items left to ring up and Camryn gets ahead of me and starts shoving the bag of dog treats into the cashiers hand almost crying the words " Pay for it, paaaay for it". Looks are coming form all angles and I am trying to remain calm, keep my cool, but my temperature was quickly rising. "Camryn, we will pay for it but we have to wait our turn. Whose on that package? Is that Bailey and Buddy?" I could feel the sweat beading up on my forehead and my ears were burning from redness. Mr. Ass paid his bill and gave me a cutting look which I returned right back at him. Finally our turn, the cashier scanned the treats and gave them back to Camryn, who took the bag and headed for the door. I ran after her and dragged her back to the register and all the while she's screaming" Feed Riley! Wet food , dry food. Rileeeeey" OMG! Lord, what have I done? It really couldn't have been this terrible to have been condemend to repeated public humiliation could it? EVERYBODY is staring and you know what? I'm fine with that. It would catch my attention too if I saw a kid acting like that and I'm used to it BUT, usually there is one person, one, kind, understanding, thank God you're here person who looks at me with a smile that say's "It's okay." Understanding person, where were you today???  I clumsily swipe my debit card, as the cashier bags my things and tries not to make eye contact with me. Everybody in Publix now knows that my daughter  "Loves dog food!' both the wet and dry variety, as well as Beggin Strips. Receipt in hand, I convince Cam to get back in the cart. Exhausted and feeling completely defeated, I load the bags into the car. Cam holds on tightly to her bag of treats as I buckle her in. I start the engine and look over at her, smiling and completely unaware that what just happened in there was anything but normal, because in Camryns world, it was normal. But we don't live in Camryns world, and she has no choice but to live in ours, which isn't always a friendly place to be. I drive home, listening to how much she likes wet food and dry food and that Riley is black and white. As I kissed her to sleep tonight, I thanked God for her, as I always do. Life with Camryn is far from easy, but that little girl is making me stronger than I would have ever been without her and for that I am so grateful.