Daylight -Shmaylight

Wow, is it really Monday yet, or was it Monday and then someone decided we should turn the week back and make it Sunday again? No, it must be Monday because I am sitting at home surrounded by silence and Riley is laying on her back, underbelly exposed, an extremely vulnerable and dangerous position to assume were we not the only inhabitants in the house. So yes, it's Monday, but my goodness, did this day take it's sweet time getting here thanks to some fools idea we should add an extra hour to the already too long of a day!
Daylight savings time. I do not like this concept....at all. And I can guaran-damn-tee ya that whoever concocted this idea did NOT have an autistic child in their care,because there is no way in hell that anybody responsible for the twenty four hour care of a kid with autism would say "You know, the days just don't seem long enough so I know, let's add one more!!" 
This weekend was a long one, even before we tacked on an extra sixty minutes. And since we are "going back in time", let me go back to Thursday to set the scene.
Our respite worker comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays to watch Camryn so I can get some time alone or do something with Mason and Natalie. I came up with the idea that I would take the girls to get library cards and check out some books, seeing as they have read all the books at home at least 127 times. I thought it would be a great little outing and  also a great way to teach them about responsibility, you know keeping the books safe and all. I had tried the library with Mason several years ago when we lived in Port Charlotte. On our very first visit I checked out the "Lion King 2 1/2" dvd. When I returned it, I used the after hours slot, dropping it in and waiting to make sure I heard it land. The next day I got a call that they received the dvd case,but not the dvd. Seems the case was empty and I now owed them $29.99 to replace it. I knew the dvd was in there and I tried my best to convince them that it must have fallen out in the slot and surely it was wedged in there somewhere, but to no avail. My card was suspended until I submitted a payment of $29.99 to which I said "Well suspend this!!!!" And I haven't been back until now.
 We get to the library and I start to go all nostalgic on the girls, reminiscing about going to that very same library when I was their age and how exciting it was to look at all the books, etc. Mason was not so thrilled, but Nat totally bought into it. They each got a card and I had them stand in front of a poster about reading and pose for a picture with their cards. Again, Mason wasn't feeling it. In fact, she rolled her eyes and said " Uggh, this is soooo embarrassing!!" I thought to myself "Well, this is payback for your backtalk,ok??" "Say reading!!!" Picture taken, we moved on to the books and Natalie began grabbing them left and right like she had been denied access to publications of any kind and was making up for lost time. It was a little embarrassing! "Natalie, calm down. You're not even paying attention to what you're taking!" I said, waving a book about surfing I found in her pile. "Caring For Your Cockatiel? We don't have a bird Nat."  "I knowwwww", she whined "but they're so cute! I want to check it out." Whatever, I thought. After she had hoarded about twenty books I told her enough and we went to the older kids section for Mace. She is into spooky books and she was totally hyped to see her favorite author had made it into the library. She grabbed a couple chapter books along with several hard backs including one on making puppets and a book of poems for kids. We checked them all out and before we left I had them sit on the bench with their books stacked on their lap for another photo. Mason thought she would die of embarrassment,yet amazingly her heart was still beating after I snapped the picture. As we walked to the car I talked about what a big responsibility it is to borrow books from the library and that they have to be very careful with where they put them and not to leave them outside or get them wet, etc. And the number one rule for keeping them safe was "DO NOT PUT THEM WHERE CAMRYN CAN GET THEM!!!!" Camryn loves books as she loves animals...to death. While she enjoys looking at the pictures and having stories read to her, she is all about hands on experiences, getting in there and really "feeling" the book, as in tearing the pages out one by one and then tearing them into pieces. And the library, well they kind of frown upon that. So I stressed several times the importance of keeping these books out of Cam's reach. But you know the thing about talking to someone is that while you're talking sometimes you should just really be listening. I need to work on that.
So we got home, the respite worker left and the girls were getting ready for bed. Lately Camryn has been insisting she have a book to hold while she sleeps. She doesn't look at the book or ask me to read it, she simply holds it close to her all night. I let her pick one to sleep with and then when I wake her up in the morning I take it out before she has a chance to shred it. That night Brad was working late and I was trying to get them all to bed. Camryn spotted the library books and was reaching for the one about cockatiels. What was it with that book?? I told her no and she started screaming and hitting herself and while I should have just ignored her and stood my ground, it was late, I wanted them all in bed and I had a pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked Fro-Yo whispering sweet nothings from the freezer. I gave her the book thinking it would be okay because she was just going to sleep and I would be sure to get it first thing in the morning. Natalie didn't see the transaction, which was good because she would NOT have been okay with it. I got them all tucked in and made my way to the kitchen to get my boys out of deep freeze. I sat on the couch, ate frozen yogurt and watched trash t.v until midnight. I really love my alone time.
Friday morning I woke up late and had no less than nine minutes to get Camryn dressed before the bus came. And these are the mornings I love school uniforms because there is no question what she will wear and no issues of matching tops to bottoms. I miraculously got her ready and out the door on time then went to wake up her sisters. We rushed around the house and made it to school on time, but we were really pushing it. I had several errands to run that day and actually didn't return home until right before Camryn arrived on the bus. I made her a quick snack and then we left to pick up Mace and Nat. Friday's I always take them for a milkshake after school and then for a drive, so it was about 4:30 when we got home. Cam and I went directly into the bathroom for our own "Occupy" movement and Mace and Nat made their beds. After thirty minutes in the bathroom Camryn finally pooped. I put on a movie for the kids and made some popcorn. I was following Cam through the house as she rummaged through my closet looking for shoes and then into Mason's room where she likes to sit at Mason's desk and cut and glue God know's what. I had to run into the kitchen to start dinner and when I came back to check on her she seemed like she was actually behaving, just laying on Natalies bed talking to herself. I went back to cooking and checked in on her five minutes later. She was standing in the middle of the room and I could see her pants were sagging. Yep, she s**t her pants!
"UUUGGGHHHH!!!!" I grabbed her by the arm, took her in the bathroom, cleaned her up, cleaned me up, spanked her and put her in her room for time out for pooping in her pants. She screamed for the first five minutes but then she quieted down and I was able to finish making dinner. I unlocked her door and called her to the table to eat. We all sat down and talked about the day. Brad got home shortly after and took Mace and Nat fishing. I took Camryn to my mom's to play in her backyard while we had a glass of wine and for a moment all was right with the world.
7:30 we got home and I got Cam ready for bed. I walked into her room to close the blinds and I saw paper all over the floor. What the...? I looked closer and it was pictures, pictures of birds...cockatiels......uh-oh!! OMG!!!! I forgot to take the book out in the morning so Cam took it out instead, as in killed it, ripped it to shreds! #**%@#!!!!!! Well so much for our "free" library card! And there was nobody to blame but myself. If you put a mouse in a lions den what do you expect? After my initial upset, I found the humor in the situation. Wasn't I the one who had preached on and on about the importance of keeping the books safe and what a huge repsonsibility it was to have library books at home? Ha!! And wasn't I the one who handed that book to Camryn, doing whatever was necessary to quiet her screams so I could enjoy the rest of the night? I laughed out loud and then took a couple "crime scene photos". I cleaned up the mess before Mace or Nat could see and put Cams to bed.
Saturday we had planned to go to a fall festival at a local nature park. We have gotten pretty smart over the years and now take two vehicles to events like these in the very likely case that Camryn will have to bow out early. We brought the wagon for her and I stayed by her side to protect any kids passing by. The very first booth we came upon was advertising for "Big Cat Rescue", an animal attraction that houses lions and tigers and such. And one of their props was a life sized white tiger stuffed animal. Well you all may remember that Cam has a special place in her heart for white tigers, it's her very favorite stuffed animal, so when she saw this one that was twenty times the size of her own she clamored out of the wagon, ran over to the booth and tried to drag it off the table. The woman behind the table was smiling when she first saw Camryn running over, then her eyes widened with fear as Camryn grabbed the tiger by the ear and and started pulling it towards her. "Oh no honey, this is part of the display", she said, fully expecting Camryn to put it back in place after hearing that. AS IF!! I came to the rescue, as usual, and grabbed Cams hand, telling her to pet the tiger gently, he had to stay on the table. She did at first, but then she decided no, he would be much happier in her arms and tried to pull him off again, at which point I said "Tell the tiger night night" and dragged her screaming back to the wagon. Well after that forget it, her mind was on that tiger and she was fussing and handbiting as Brad pulled her in the wagon trying to get her as far away from the cat as possible. "We need to get her something to eat NOW" he said, so we followed the scent of kettle corn hoping a bag would keep her busy. On the way there, she spotted a toddler at the play area riding on one of those bouncy toys that has a big spring attached to it and is stuck in the ground. She got out of the wagon and started running towards the toy saying " I wanna turn. Wait your turn honey!" And she didn't take the sidewalk either. She cut through a section of trees and high grass, and there I was stumbling behind her hoping I got her before she ripped that toddler off the ride. I did, and she was pissed. It was a beautiful day, the air was cool, the sun was shining, local artists and craftsmen were set up in tents selling their wares in the park and there we were, Camryn screaming and tweaking and "growling" and me holding both her hands up in the air as I tried to maneuver our way back to the wagon. Everyone was staring and I just wanted to yell "What the f**k are you looking at??" But of course I didn't. I kept my eye on the prize, aka the wagon, plopped her in it and made a bee line for the kettle corn. Turns out, it was the perfect distraction, for me as well....that stuff is yummy!!We finished looking at the booths and then walked over to the area where the live animals were on display. Uh-huh, I said "live animals". I was sweating by this time and while Mace and Nat ran over to see the snakes and turtles, I took Camryn to see the birds of prey that live in cages at the park. She was so into them! Brad and I told her what each one was. "That's a vulture Cam" and she'd say in a high pitched voice "Hiiiiiiiiiiii! Ohhhhh, I wanna pet the "culture". We got to the eagle and she said " I wanna give him a hug. He wants his jelly belly rubbed. His names Beak Beak." There was a young couple next to us and they were trying their best not to laugh. I looked at them and started laughing to let them know it was okay, Cams is hilarious! Mason ran over and asked if Camryn wanted to pet a snake. "Do you want the snake to live Mason?" I asked her and she said "Good point! Never mind!" I did however let Cam see the snakes that were safely secured in containers with glass panels for viewing. She was fascinated by them and really, really wanted to show them with a hug. "I wanna give him a hug! Ohhhhhhhhhhh he's a good girl, I wanna give him licky face!" We were getting some looks, let me tell you, but I just laughed. She was cracking me up. We came upon a large metal bucket and in it was a huge alligator snapping turtle with a big sign above him saying "DO NOT TOUCH, I BITE!" I really need to get one of those for Cam! Haha Well Camryn saw him and immediately tried to reach in. "Awwwwwww I wanna hug him. He's a good boy". I grabbed her hand just in time and Brad and I decided now would be a good time for him to take her home, which he did. He also took Nat and that left me, my mom and Mason, and we decided to take a couple trails in the park and enjoy this rare opportunity. It was awesome.
Sunday morning I slept in and Brad got up with the girls. They watched "Wizard of Oz" and ate popsicles. Afterward they went out back and Camryn settled herself into a big hole the dog had dug. She found a metal spoon and a tupperware container and went to town spooning dirt into the dish, dumping it out and then repeating the process until her hands and feet were charcoal grey. I woke up at this point and put her in the bath while Brad made them lunch. At the table Nat was telling me about the movie they had watched, so I asked Cam "What movie did you watch today?" and she answered "Lizard of Paws!" Ha ha ha ha ha!! I cracked up!! After lunch, Cam escaped into the back yard and got into the hole AGAIN! Bath number two. I put her in her room while we cleaned up and she screamed and screamed and screamed. Brad ended up taking her for a drive and I finished up some laundry. We were going to my mom's that night for my brother's birthday dinner, but that wasn't until five thirty and it was only one. The clock was not moving!!! Brad and Cam came back but nothing would hold her attention. She was hitting Nat and abusing the dog so she was put back in her room, where again she screamed and screamed and screamed some more. At four o'clock I had to run to Target to get my brother's gift. Mace came with me and Nat and Cam stayed with Brad. I was going to go directly to my moms afterward and Brad was going to meet me there at five thirty. At five forty he still wasn't there. I checked my phone and saw I had a text from him that read as follows..."Cam s**t her pants". I laughed out loud because I could just hear him saying it matter of factly. Turns out while he was in the bathroom Camryn pooped herself, Nat ran to tell Brad and while Nat was telling him she pulled the poopy panties off and created quite a mess. I was so glad I was at my moms! They ended up getting there around six and we ate dinner. She was so excited to see my mom and my brother and VERY excited to see my mom's dogs, which were NOT excited to see her, as they enjoy being alive. We managed to keep her away from them and after dinner while we were getting ready to open up gifts Camryn stood in the hallway and said "Did you poop your pants honey? I need a wipe." Uggghhhh!!! Sure enough, she had managed to squeeze out a turd the size of a half dollar in her panties and get it smushed in there just enough that wiping it out and putting them back on was not an option. By this time it was seven but really eight and had some childless idiot not decided to tack an extra hour on to the day she would have been in bed. But no, just like the whales and ta-ta's, we must also save daylight! I cleaned her up and luckily my mom had some extra kid panties for just such an occasion. We changed her, opened the gifts, gave her some cake and Brad took her home while the other two girls and I stayed for a bit longer. At eight thirty (which was really nine thirty) we got home and the girls went to bed. Brad and I were exhausted! What a weekend!!!
I will be calling to check on the price of that Cockatiel book today and then trying to find one online to see what would be cheaper.... pay the library or buy a new one. I will also be purchasing a large package of underwear to replace the ones we tossed over the weekend as well as a big bottle of bubble bath and shampoo since we used quite a bit cleaning Cam up Sunday.I need some more frozen yogurt, a big bottle of wine and wipes, lots and lots of wipes.
So we may have saved daylight, but we spent a fortune doing it! How long until we get to "Spring Forward?" Now that was invented by a mom like me. "Do we really need twenty four hours? Couldn't we just shave one off, just for today?" Love it.