The Three - Fifth's Family Vacation Part 1

So Spring Break is over and for the most part it went well. And actually, I'd have to say it's been the best one yet. I don' tknow if it's because the kids are getting older, or we're getting smarter about how to go about things, but either way, I'll take it.  One thing that I did differently this year was take Mason and Natalie on a mini-vacation at the beginning of Spring Break. We went up to my Mom's house in St.Petersburg and spent four nights there, while Brad stayed at home with Camryn. It started out with the girls and I only being gone one night, with the purpose being visiting with my best friend Anna and her two girls who were in town for a few days. Anna and I haven't seen each other in six months and had been counting the weeks and days until she was here with her kids and then wouldn't you know it, they weren't here 24 hours and one of her girls had strep throat and the other an ear infection! Soooo, needless to say we didn't hang out for the first few days. Since I was already up there though, I thought it would be a great opportunity to just hang out with my kids. Just relax and do all the "normal" things that we don't often get to do in our usual surroundings. The first morning, which we had intended to spend with Anna, we got up and went to McDonalds and then came back to my moms and did...nothing. And it was amazing! I know that sounds crazy, so let me explain. At our house you don't just do "nothing" when the kids are home, or should I say when Camryn is home. Because of her Autism, telling her to "go outside and play with your sisters" is not an option. Oh sure, she will go outside, but her idea of playing and her sisters ideas of playing are on opposite ends of the spectrum(pun intended), so while Mason and Natalie build mountains of dirt to play with their plastic animals, Camryn comes by and scoops it up with a big spoon, to put in her bowl and make "oatmeal". Or when Mason and Nat decorate the inside of the "house" attached to their swingset, Camryn comes in and throws everything out. And then everybody's screaming and crying whcih agitates Camryn and then she's pinching and scratching, which makes for more crying, which leads to me playing with Camryn inside so Mason and Nat can play outside in peace. And I feel bad for all parties involved. For Camryn, because she enjoys being outside with her sisters and she is not intentionally demolishing their mountain of dirt.Where they see a perfect habitat for their pretend animals, Camryn sees premium ingredients for whatever she is pretending to stir in her plastic container. And while Mace and Nat think that the window sills of their playhouse look just right with flower pots and knick knacks from their room, in Camryn's brain, something is telling her to throw them off, because for some reason it bothers her that they are there.So for just doing what she feels and following her brains instructions, she is yelled at by her sisters and reprimanded by me, because I can't just let her destroy all their things, which gets her upset and then pinching and "growling" which eventually gets her inside. And I feel for Mace and Nat because I remember the feeling of being a little girl and playing  outside for hours and hours, either by myself or with Anna, and all the fun I had. I let my imagination take over and I was no longer in my backyard but in a scary jungle looking for tigers, or on the hunt for treasure on a lost island. It was exhilarating and exciting and so much fun, and more than anything I want my girls to have those memories as well. And it's kind of hard to look for tigers when your sister is banging you over the head with your net, or trying to dig for treasure and someone comes and scoops it up along with a pile of dirt, then pinches you and runs off, treasure in hand. It must be sooooo frustrating and I feel for them.Which leads me back to my day of amazing "nothingness". So, the girls and I were at my moms, it was mid morning and I had nothing planned. My mom was at work, the house was ours and the girls wanted to play. Fine with me, so I opened up the back door and out they went, into the yard, chasing bugs and making their toys talk and me? Well I just sat in the kitchen and drank my coffee!!!! And it was so amazing! Those kinds of moments just don't happen in our house. The joy of watching my girls run and play so carefree was almost euphoric. This is what it's like, I thought. This is what it's like to have "normal" kids. Sure they fight and fuss, but they work it out and I know that neither one of them is going to really hurt the other. Whereas with Cam, because she goes at things with such force, so she can really  feel it and get that sensory input that she needs, she could really hurt a child, and has, if left unattended with one. So the girls and I are constantly on alert for any sign that Cam is going to "attack", and more than not she does. But not that day, that day, Mason and Natalie played as little girls should, as sisters should. And for once in a long, long while, I watched, because I could and we didn't stop there. I wanted more. More time to be their Mommy like I've always wanted to be. To focus on them and do the things that Mommies and little girls do. So right then and there, I called Brad and asked if he would mind if the girls and I stayed a few more nights at my Moms and did all the things that Mason wanted to do over Spring Break that we wouldn't be able to do as easily with Camryn. And as the amazing husband and Dad that he is, he thougut it was  great idea, as he loves to spend time with Camryn one on one and planned to take her all the places she loves to go. So the girls and I went to the nature park and "hunted" for alligators, we went to 2 movies, out to lunch and dinner, and just had a great, great time. I got to really enjoy them, really talk to them ,listen to them, play with them,all out from under the shadow of Autism. It may sound do simple, but it's an experience that doen't come our way often and I treasure those times. Did I miss Camryn? Absolutely! Could I not wait to see her face and hug her tight? You bet! Did I wish she could have joined us? Only as the mother of an Autistic child could know.  But...guess what? Cams and Brad had an amazing time together too, doing all the things that Camryn loves...riding go-karts, going out to eat with just Daddy and White Tiger, and just being Cams. That's how we do things around here. It may be unconventional, but it works for us and that's all that matters. So if three-fifths of us do one thing and two-fifths of us do another, so be it. At the end of the day, we are still a whole family, a whole family living with Autism the best we know how. Stay tuned for part 2, when Brad took Mason and Natalie to North Carolina last week to visit his family and I stayed with Camryn. The girls had a blast with Daddy and Cams and I had time together. And dear God let there be a part 3, where Brad and I take a trip! Please,please...PLEASE!!! ;)