I have never thought of myself as bilingual and that is a bit embarrassing, considering I took seven years of Spanish in school and all I can really say is "Hola, me llamo es Pedro", which clearly it's not. But the other day as I was listening to Camryn speak and found myself responding to really strange requests, I realized, I am totally bilingual, I speak Autism!
Because Camryn has a hard time putting words together correctly and prounounces things in her own dialect, many of the common words you and I would use come out a tad bit different. My favorite example is gum, one of Camryns all time fave things to chew on. While a stick or two would last most of us about twenty minutes or so, Camryn likes to change hers out every thirty seconds. It has only been in the past two years that I let her chew gum because I was worried she wouldn't understand that it's not something to be swallowed, so at six years old I gave her her very first stick of peppermint gum. Here's the funny part....when Camryn heard "gum" and the word "peppermint" used in the same sentence she put them together to make the word....are you ready.....government!! LOL So when she wants gum she says "I want some goverment". And when she's done with it and places the slimy wrinkled rubber in my hand she says "More "goverment" please"! And here's the best, when we are out and I give her gum she will shout "I love "goverment!" It is hilarious!!! At a time where people are really not all that thrilled with our country's leadership, they must really be wondering why our child is so gung ho about it!
Another of Camryn's phrases that cracks me up has to do with pretzels. Not just any pretzles, but pretzles coated in salt. The girl can eat some salt and a word of warning, do NOT eat pretzles or tortilla chips that Camryn has had access to because you will find yourself biting into a damp, soggy, and saltless snack. She likes to keep her loved ones sodium levels down! Any how, she associates pretzles with salt and has also put these two together. Whenever she wants a bag she will say " I want some "problem solved" and I know right away that she is talking about pretzles! And when we are at the grocery store and pass by the chip aisle she will shout out "I like "problem solved!". Again stares from the crowd and laughter from me.
This next one is a bit gross. When Camryn has to poop, she will go in the bathroom and say "Squeeze the meat out!" I have NO idea where this one came from and you can imagine the looks I get in public restrooms. Enough said...moving on.
Cams has accompanied me to the deli enough to know that I always order a pound of sliced turkey, and turkey is one of her favorite snacks. At home, she will go to the refrigerator, pull open the deli drawer and say "Turkey pound please". She signs the word more with her hands and keeps saying "Turkey pound. Turkey pound please!" When I give it to her she will answer "Thank you. I love the way you're sitting"! LOL She gets that from school I guess...cracks me up!!
A few weeks ago my mom and I were on a walk by the bay and we had Camryn in the stroller. There were several ducks in the water and I pointed to them and asked Cam what they were. "Look at the mother quack" she responded and my mom and I burst out laughing. In her eyes one of them was the mom and ducks quack, so there you go!
When I get Cam out of the bath she says "Paper towel please" which means she wants a towel. She refers to all music as "Michael Buble" and when I turn the radio down in the car she signs more and says "More Michael Buble please". When she puts her hand in the dog's mouth and get's her fingers wet, she finds me wherever I may be, wipes her hands on me and say "Eewwwww, teeth poop" and I don't miss a beat as I know exactly what that means. "Do you need wipes honey" translates into "I pooped!" and "My motrin hurts" means something is hurting on her! Smart girl, she knows I give her Motrin when she is sick. Anything that squirts from a bottle, whether it's shampoo or ketchup is "lotion" to Camryn and it goes everywhere lotion would go which can get really messy! When getting her ready for bed she says "Do you need a strawberry pull-up baby?" which means she wants me to put a pull-up on her. Not sure where the strawberry came from, but there must be a reason. "Cube-cubes" are kisses she gives to dogs,"licky-face" are kisses dogs give to her and "Ry-Ry" is every dog that she sees.
When over at my moms a few weeks ago, Camryn and I went next door to visit my mom's neighbor and good friend. Camryn knows her name is "Dale" but when she opened the door to greet us Camryn bit her hand in excitment and said "Hi next door!!" Dale and I cracked up and now Dale has a new nickname!
The list goes on and on and each one is cuter than the rest. You don't realize when it's an everyday thing how unique it is until you sit back and really think about. Each one of her sayings is a product of how she put the meaning and pronunciation of the words together in her brain. Obviously she is hearing what everything is,just how her brain translates it is so interesting. One thing that is understood by all is that Camryn brings so much joy and laughter to our life. You never know what you are going to get from one day to the next and that keeps it interesting. Who knows, maybe she has all the answers. Maybe all Congress needs to fix it's mess is a pack of gum and some pretzles. Government problem solved! Who knew it was that easy!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Moon Walk
These past few weeks have been rough. For some reason I have noticed a change in Camryn's behavior that is not very becoming. Thinking it could have something to do with her medications, I lowered her dose to once a day, but was disappointed to see that it really made no difference. It also crossed my mind that maybe she is acting out because Brad is gone so much with work. I know it has definitely affected the other two girls and me as well, so why would it be so strange to think Camryn would be different. We recently had a situation at our plant that has demanded most of Brad's time, leaving me basically as a single mom Monday thru Friday. He leaves at 5:00 a.m. and gets home at 8:30 p.m when the kiddo's are already in bed. He is beat, I am beat and it's not a good situation for any family and most certainly for a family of autism. With our list of places we can go that are "Cam-friendly" being extremely short, the girls and I don't go out much as a group except for car rides and really, how fun is that? But with spring in the air and the weather just too beautiful to resist, I found myself teetering on the edge of reason when I was invited to join a friend and her kids for dinner at the beach.
It all started Friday afternoon. Natalie was invited to a play date at the home of twin girls in her class. It was so nice for her to be able to get out and experience normal play without screaming in the background or fear of being assaulted. When I dropped her off I had Mason and Camryn with me as well. I really did not want to bring Cam in because she had just gotten home from school and that is one of her worst times. But I didn't know the mom too well and I had never been to their home, so of course I wanted to come inside and talk to her for a minute before I left my baby there. The mother was so nice and very understanding of Camryn, who I was holding onto with a death grip. She was tweaking out of excitement and wanted so very badly to "give them nice touches" but there was no way in hell I was letting her lay a finger on Natalies friends. I held both of her hands tightly in mine and she wrestled with me the entire time I spoke with the mom, trying to escape my grasp. After a five minute conversation about what Natalie liked to eat and what time I would pick her up, I was literally drenched in sweat. Why does it have to be so hard?
On my way home, one of my best friends called to see about getting together with the kids that night at the beach. Her husband also works late, leaving her alone with the kids most nights. I reeeeaaaally wanted to do it. I hadn't been to the beach in a while and the air felt so good and the idea of sipping on sangria while the band played and the sun sank into the water made me high just thinking about it. But I also knew that while it would be beautiful and tasty, it wouldn't play out quite so smoothly in reality. Mace and Nat would be fine, as usual, but taking Camryn to a popular restaurant filled with small children was risky and letting her run free on a crowded beach? Downright dangerous! My gut said "Are you frickin crazy?" and my head answered with "Yes, she's frickin crazy!" but my spirit said "You need this, just go for it!" and my friend said "Come on, it will be fun!" so I did.
I picked Nat up from her playdate and intended on leaving Mace and Cam in the car while I ran up to get her. The mom came to the door and we were small talking about the girls when Mason bursts out of my car running and crying that Camryn hurt her. Then Camryn scrambles out, biting her hand and barreling towards Mason and Nat, Mason starts screaming for her to get away, Nat hides behind me and I make a mental note to throw this womans number away because she is never going to want to see us again. I got everyone calmed down and in the car, gave a weary smile at the woman as she waved goodbye and headed out to the beach, crazy as hell!
Camryn got into the glovebox five minutes down the road and somehow made it to where it would no longer close. She emptied all of its contents and threw them at me. When she got bored of that, she started pinching me. She is so big now that she can reach me even as I lean as far away from her as I can. I was scolding her but she just kept pinching and I thought to myself "Really Lord? Really?"
We get to beach and I see my girlfriend pull in with her kids. The first things out of their mouths were "Don't pinch me Camryn!" The girl has a reputation. We cross the street to the restaurant and it is packed! The wait was thirty minutes which may as well have been thirty days because I knew it was going to be long. We took the kids out on the beach while we waited. The restaurant is right on the gulf. It has outside seating on two decks, live entertainment and a fabulous view of the sunset, so needless to say it's popular. We were not the only ones waiting on the sand. There were kids everywhere! All sizes, ages, ethnicities. It didn't matter, as I've said before, Camryn is an equal opportunity offender. She will pinch and scratch just about anybody, so naturally I am scanning the crowd like a hawk on the lookout for prey, making sure no little ones are within Camryns reach. She is oblivious, loving the feel of the sand on her feet, running in circles laughing out loud. It was one of those fleeting moments of normality where for a few seconds she is just an eight year old girl and I love seeing her like that. But it didn't last long as she lunged for a kid passing by and I grabbed her hands.
There were seven in our party between my friend and our kids. The restuarant could not seat us all together, so the three big kids and Nat had their own table and Cam sat with us grownups two tables away. She did well during dinner, but I could tell she wanted to sit with her sisters. I couldn't let her though, she would hurt the other kids and whoever may have passed by. I felt bad, but I knew it had to be that way.
After dinner the kids wanted to go back on the beach, so we did. The sun was setting, the band was playing and the sangria had been oh so delicious! We ventured out onto the sand again and Cams broke free to run in circles. I ran with her, sure to keep others safe if they passed too close. I wanted to relax, but that is not an option when you are in public with Camryn. The other kids were having so much fun. They were racing each other, laughing and reminding me of my own childhood often playing on the beach at dusk. I pointed up at the crescent moon and had no sooner said "Look how beautiful" when I turned and saw another moon...Camryn's! There she was, in front of the crowd, butt naked! She had apparently gotten some water on her pants from a chair she sat on and so off with her clothes!!OMG! She handed me her underwear and shorts and I laughed out loud! "I have never seen the moon go from a sliver to full so fast in my life!" I joked with my friend. I shimmied her pants back on and she fought me every inch. We told the kids it was time to go and Mason shouted out the she wished Camryn hadn't come. She has had way too many outings cut short because of Camryn and I felt for her. However, this was no time for a heart to heart, so we herded everybody back to the car. As we said our goodbyes I told my friend let's do this again, next time less kids and more sangria! She agreed. We drove home and I called Brad to let him know we were on our way. "We stayed until the moon came out" I told him and Mason and I burst out laughing. After all, what else can you do?
It all started Friday afternoon. Natalie was invited to a play date at the home of twin girls in her class. It was so nice for her to be able to get out and experience normal play without screaming in the background or fear of being assaulted. When I dropped her off I had Mason and Camryn with me as well. I really did not want to bring Cam in because she had just gotten home from school and that is one of her worst times. But I didn't know the mom too well and I had never been to their home, so of course I wanted to come inside and talk to her for a minute before I left my baby there. The mother was so nice and very understanding of Camryn, who I was holding onto with a death grip. She was tweaking out of excitement and wanted so very badly to "give them nice touches" but there was no way in hell I was letting her lay a finger on Natalies friends. I held both of her hands tightly in mine and she wrestled with me the entire time I spoke with the mom, trying to escape my grasp. After a five minute conversation about what Natalie liked to eat and what time I would pick her up, I was literally drenched in sweat. Why does it have to be so hard?
On my way home, one of my best friends called to see about getting together with the kids that night at the beach. Her husband also works late, leaving her alone with the kids most nights. I reeeeaaaally wanted to do it. I hadn't been to the beach in a while and the air felt so good and the idea of sipping on sangria while the band played and the sun sank into the water made me high just thinking about it. But I also knew that while it would be beautiful and tasty, it wouldn't play out quite so smoothly in reality. Mace and Nat would be fine, as usual, but taking Camryn to a popular restaurant filled with small children was risky and letting her run free on a crowded beach? Downright dangerous! My gut said "Are you frickin crazy?" and my head answered with "Yes, she's frickin crazy!" but my spirit said "You need this, just go for it!" and my friend said "Come on, it will be fun!" so I did.
I picked Nat up from her playdate and intended on leaving Mace and Cam in the car while I ran up to get her. The mom came to the door and we were small talking about the girls when Mason bursts out of my car running and crying that Camryn hurt her. Then Camryn scrambles out, biting her hand and barreling towards Mason and Nat, Mason starts screaming for her to get away, Nat hides behind me and I make a mental note to throw this womans number away because she is never going to want to see us again. I got everyone calmed down and in the car, gave a weary smile at the woman as she waved goodbye and headed out to the beach, crazy as hell!
Camryn got into the glovebox five minutes down the road and somehow made it to where it would no longer close. She emptied all of its contents and threw them at me. When she got bored of that, she started pinching me. She is so big now that she can reach me even as I lean as far away from her as I can. I was scolding her but she just kept pinching and I thought to myself "Really Lord? Really?"
We get to beach and I see my girlfriend pull in with her kids. The first things out of their mouths were "Don't pinch me Camryn!" The girl has a reputation. We cross the street to the restaurant and it is packed! The wait was thirty minutes which may as well have been thirty days because I knew it was going to be long. We took the kids out on the beach while we waited. The restaurant is right on the gulf. It has outside seating on two decks, live entertainment and a fabulous view of the sunset, so needless to say it's popular. We were not the only ones waiting on the sand. There were kids everywhere! All sizes, ages, ethnicities. It didn't matter, as I've said before, Camryn is an equal opportunity offender. She will pinch and scratch just about anybody, so naturally I am scanning the crowd like a hawk on the lookout for prey, making sure no little ones are within Camryns reach. She is oblivious, loving the feel of the sand on her feet, running in circles laughing out loud. It was one of those fleeting moments of normality where for a few seconds she is just an eight year old girl and I love seeing her like that. But it didn't last long as she lunged for a kid passing by and I grabbed her hands.
There were seven in our party between my friend and our kids. The restuarant could not seat us all together, so the three big kids and Nat had their own table and Cam sat with us grownups two tables away. She did well during dinner, but I could tell she wanted to sit with her sisters. I couldn't let her though, she would hurt the other kids and whoever may have passed by. I felt bad, but I knew it had to be that way.
After dinner the kids wanted to go back on the beach, so we did. The sun was setting, the band was playing and the sangria had been oh so delicious! We ventured out onto the sand again and Cams broke free to run in circles. I ran with her, sure to keep others safe if they passed too close. I wanted to relax, but that is not an option when you are in public with Camryn. The other kids were having so much fun. They were racing each other, laughing and reminding me of my own childhood often playing on the beach at dusk. I pointed up at the crescent moon and had no sooner said "Look how beautiful" when I turned and saw another moon...Camryn's! There she was, in front of the crowd, butt naked! She had apparently gotten some water on her pants from a chair she sat on and so off with her clothes!!OMG! She handed me her underwear and shorts and I laughed out loud! "I have never seen the moon go from a sliver to full so fast in my life!" I joked with my friend. I shimmied her pants back on and she fought me every inch. We told the kids it was time to go and Mason shouted out the she wished Camryn hadn't come. She has had way too many outings cut short because of Camryn and I felt for her. However, this was no time for a heart to heart, so we herded everybody back to the car. As we said our goodbyes I told my friend let's do this again, next time less kids and more sangria! She agreed. We drove home and I called Brad to let him know we were on our way. "We stayed until the moon came out" I told him and Mason and I burst out laughing. After all, what else can you do?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Could Someone Point Out The "Break" Part?
I haven't posted in a while. Not because I didn't want to, but because last week was Spring Break and I think that explains it all. Every "break" from school makes me run screaming for the hills because the only break that happens in this house is the one before the word "down", as in Mommy is curled up in the fetal position on the floor again.
As a mom of an autistic child, I never look forward to any extended period void of routines or childcare. It may sound horrible, but I love the fact that for most of the year Camryn goes to school for seven hours a day where somebody else can keep her busy. My other two girls are not an issue. I love having time with them when we can go to the movies or the playground. I enjoy their company and letting them experience new things. But with Cam's it is such a different story, written in a completely different language. You all know by now movies and playgrounds don't work well with Camryn. Twice I had invites over the break to join friends and their kids at your typical kid hangouts and twice I had to decline, knowing taking Camryn to a kid filled area would be akin to letting Jaws loose at a pool party.....kind of a downer. I felt sorry for myself for a minute (okay maybe thirty) and then tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do to fill these nine long days of break. Monday it rained, so that slashed off number one on my list of one thing we could do that day. Our backyard is a good place for Cams as it is set up with her in mind. We have three "clubhouses" out there, a swingset, a sandbox and a jogging stroller for her to buckle herself into. But with torrential downpours in the forecast all day, the backyard would be uninhabitable for day one. Inside the options were dwindling. While Mason and Nat built a jungle out of plastic trees and animals on their bedroom floor, Camryn scribbled on a few sheets of paper before shoving them in my face announcing she was "all done". Okayyyyy, well there went three minutes filled. I tried to read her some books, and successfully got through four of them before she again decided she was all done with that as well. The only trick left up my very short sleeve was television, or as I like to refer to it "Old Faithful". Camryn will watch t.v, although the the variety of shows she likes are somewhat limited, as in two. There is the "Fresh Beat Band" and "Oobi", both of which are capable of leaving me banging my head against the wall to the beat of their theme song. I mean, you can only hear these things so many times before they start to embed themselves in your grey matter.However, I will gladly suffer any ill effects they may have to get thirty minutes of uninterrupted silence as Camryn loses herself in the screen. But even Cam has her limits and after about three shows she is ready to move on to something else,except after television I am at the top of my sleeve. No more tricks. And that is when it starts to become very clear that this break is going to be just like the last and the one before that.....very, very long.
These are the times when all the "I know this is for a reason" and "I am such a better person for going through this" start losing merit at record speed. When it is only 9:30 on Monday and Camryn has already pooped in her underwear, hit one sister, scratched the other, and molested the dog I squeeze my eyes shut and start thinking back really hard as to what malicious crime I committed to be given such a harsh sentence. And darn if I can't come up with anything! It is so hard to see the good when the bad is right up in your face, kicking and screaming. It can be so depressing and isolating knowing that other mom's are heading out for a rainy day movie or trip to the childrens museum, and you are stuck at home with two children who are pining to join along and one, who for reasons no one can figure out, cannot handle such an outing.
Obviously I got through it, as here I sit the Monday after break and I have not been confined to a padded room. And when summer comes, I will get through that as well, with a lot of help from summer school, Camp COAST and respite care. Praise Jesus that there are so many options available to get families like ours through the long months of summer. I am totally feeling bummed today and I know my post reflects it. No need to feel sorry for me though,as I am so blessed in many, many ways and reading the news reminds me of that every day. We all have our crosses to bear and it really just depends on how we carry them. We can either drag them on our backs, leaving us hunched over and weak or we can lift them up above our heads getting stronger with every step we take. I fluctuate between mild scoliosis and moderately toned biceps.
So tomorrow is another day and it looks like rain. While some may curse the skies wishing for sun, I think back to last week and smile at the idea that no matter how hard it blows or how much it pours, I will not have to keep anybody entertained except me and luckily I am easily amused. So let it come down! Bring it on!Cats, dogs, clapboard houses from Kansas! I don't care! I plan on sitting on the couch with a hot cup of coffee listening to the rain and nothing else. I will call it my "Spring Break Break" and I will enjoy every minute of it!
As a mom of an autistic child, I never look forward to any extended period void of routines or childcare. It may sound horrible, but I love the fact that for most of the year Camryn goes to school for seven hours a day where somebody else can keep her busy. My other two girls are not an issue. I love having time with them when we can go to the movies or the playground. I enjoy their company and letting them experience new things. But with Cam's it is such a different story, written in a completely different language. You all know by now movies and playgrounds don't work well with Camryn. Twice I had invites over the break to join friends and their kids at your typical kid hangouts and twice I had to decline, knowing taking Camryn to a kid filled area would be akin to letting Jaws loose at a pool party.....kind of a downer. I felt sorry for myself for a minute (okay maybe thirty) and then tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do to fill these nine long days of break. Monday it rained, so that slashed off number one on my list of one thing we could do that day. Our backyard is a good place for Cams as it is set up with her in mind. We have three "clubhouses" out there, a swingset, a sandbox and a jogging stroller for her to buckle herself into. But with torrential downpours in the forecast all day, the backyard would be uninhabitable for day one. Inside the options were dwindling. While Mason and Nat built a jungle out of plastic trees and animals on their bedroom floor, Camryn scribbled on a few sheets of paper before shoving them in my face announcing she was "all done". Okayyyyy, well there went three minutes filled. I tried to read her some books, and successfully got through four of them before she again decided she was all done with that as well. The only trick left up my very short sleeve was television, or as I like to refer to it "Old Faithful". Camryn will watch t.v, although the the variety of shows she likes are somewhat limited, as in two. There is the "Fresh Beat Band" and "Oobi", both of which are capable of leaving me banging my head against the wall to the beat of their theme song. I mean, you can only hear these things so many times before they start to embed themselves in your grey matter.However, I will gladly suffer any ill effects they may have to get thirty minutes of uninterrupted silence as Camryn loses herself in the screen. But even Cam has her limits and after about three shows she is ready to move on to something else,except after television I am at the top of my sleeve. No more tricks. And that is when it starts to become very clear that this break is going to be just like the last and the one before that.....very, very long.
These are the times when all the "I know this is for a reason" and "I am such a better person for going through this" start losing merit at record speed. When it is only 9:30 on Monday and Camryn has already pooped in her underwear, hit one sister, scratched the other, and molested the dog I squeeze my eyes shut and start thinking back really hard as to what malicious crime I committed to be given such a harsh sentence. And darn if I can't come up with anything! It is so hard to see the good when the bad is right up in your face, kicking and screaming. It can be so depressing and isolating knowing that other mom's are heading out for a rainy day movie or trip to the childrens museum, and you are stuck at home with two children who are pining to join along and one, who for reasons no one can figure out, cannot handle such an outing.
Obviously I got through it, as here I sit the Monday after break and I have not been confined to a padded room. And when summer comes, I will get through that as well, with a lot of help from summer school, Camp COAST and respite care. Praise Jesus that there are so many options available to get families like ours through the long months of summer. I am totally feeling bummed today and I know my post reflects it. No need to feel sorry for me though,as I am so blessed in many, many ways and reading the news reminds me of that every day. We all have our crosses to bear and it really just depends on how we carry them. We can either drag them on our backs, leaving us hunched over and weak or we can lift them up above our heads getting stronger with every step we take. I fluctuate between mild scoliosis and moderately toned biceps.
So tomorrow is another day and it looks like rain. While some may curse the skies wishing for sun, I think back to last week and smile at the idea that no matter how hard it blows or how much it pours, I will not have to keep anybody entertained except me and luckily I am easily amused. So let it come down! Bring it on!Cats, dogs, clapboard houses from Kansas! I don't care! I plan on sitting on the couch with a hot cup of coffee listening to the rain and nothing else. I will call it my "Spring Break Break" and I will enjoy every minute of it!
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