Walking to a Different Beat

Before Camryn started at Discovery Learning Center, I had enrolled Mason in a Pre-K program at the same elementary school I attended and worked at. In fact, she was one of the regular ed kids in the reverse mainstream program that I worked in years earlier. Funny huh? Her class day was from 7:30-1:30 and Camryns was 8:00-2:00. It worked out beautifully as far as drop off and pick up as they were within a mile of each other. And while I had mixed emotions about putting Camryn somewhere so young, I have to be honest and say that more of me wanted her to go than not. She needed the social interaction and one on one time with the therapists and I needed social interaction of my own, as well as some one on one time with myself, although I definitely could have benefitted from therapy as well. 
At that point in my life I was like any other young mother with a pre-schooler and a toddler who stayed at home with their kids. Brad's work schedule was crazy and he was often gone from sunup till sundown, as well as most weekends. Home alone with the kids all day left me starving for adult interaction and dealing with Camryns issues on a daily basis was enough to make me put my head in a pillow and scream out my frustrations. I had Mason in school so she could make friends and learn independence, but also get a break from the constant focus on her sister. Before Camryn was born, Mason was the center of our world. The only child, only grandchild, smart as a whip and a wide eyed beauty. She was the golden child, attracting attention everywhere we went,positive attention that is,not the "why is your kid screaming and biting themselves" kind. When Cam was born, there was the usual shift in attention from older child to newborn, which Mason handled like a pro. When Camryn started showing signs of trouble, it felt like everything became about Camryn, because it did. Don't get me wrong, Mason was neglected by no means, but it became everybody else doing things with her instead of me because I was either taking her sister for a good neck stretch or hunting down some witch doctor in hopes he had some sort of potion or powder to fix my child. I was always at Masons school functions and read her stories at night, but as far as movies and Chuck E. Cheese's,that was courtesy of my brother and his girlfriend, my parents, and let's not forget Anna.
I put Camryn in school for very obvious reasons, but also because I feared that if I didn't have some sort of break or reprieve from this child I couldn't soothe or understand, that I would be on the front page of the local paper," Woman Loses it and Takes Up Residence in a Very Tall Tree." Like any mom, I needed a break, but not just from my kids. I needed time to think about something other than doctors, and syndromes and P.A.R.C. So everyday, after I kissed my babies goodbye for six hours, I parked my car at Coffee Pot Bayou and I walked. And I walked and walked and walked. Five miles everyday, following the bay as it wound through Old Northeast and the downtown waterfront. It was so freeing, no stroller to push,no sippy cups weighing me down, no rearranging toys to the left of the stroller. It was just me and the sun on my shoulders and I think I would have broken without it. Those walks kept me sane, kept me positive, kept me going. I have always been a walker, (funny that's my married name now) and with Mason I kept it up because she was such an easy baby. I'd plop her in the stroller and she'd ride till I was done. I think you already know that with Camryn it wasn't so easy. When she was very young, about two months, I remember trying to walk with the double stroller, Mason up front and Cams laying down in the back. Mace was fine, checking out the scenery, but Cams would scream and cry. At first I would ignore it, hoping she'd quiet down. But she was unrelentless, and of course she wouldn't take a pacifier like her supereasy sister had. It would turn out me walking five steps then stopping to soothe Camryn, five steps more, soothing again until finally I was like "Screw it!" and I bought a workout video which I did in my living room while the kids watched. It wasn't the same....at all.
The past year and a half had turned my life upside down and my mental stability was hanging on by a very tattered thread. With Brad working all the time and none of my other friends with babies having any clue what it was like to have a baby like Cam, I felt isolated and very alone. I never let on though, because at the time, I was still pretty shy and softspoken. Cams had only begun my transformation. I felt like I shouldn't complain, except to Brad, my mom and Anna, as those were the closest people to me and I knew they would understand. But to the rest of the world I showed a solid grin. Mace is fine,Brad is fine,I'm fine, Cam is fine. Still waiting for that Oscar.
I think it was the same week Camryn started school that she also started walking. It was a day I thought would never come. Mason walked the day she turned one. Some of my friends kids started at ten months. I guess Cam thought "I'll be walking the rest of my life. I'm gonna milk this carrying gig as long as I can." Up until this point she would crawl and scoot everywhere, as well as hitch a ride on my hip. When I would try to put her down and have her stand and put pressure on her feet she would go all jelly legs on me and lift her legs up.Mason would pull this stunt too when she was throwing a temper tantrum and I wanted her to walk. But Camryn would do it every time I tried to get her to stand. About a month before she started walking, I took her to the neurologist at All Childrens for an evaluation. Even though we'd already been to a neurosurgeon, I wanted to cover all our bases and be seen by anybody with a "Neuro" in their title. This particular neurologist came with high accolades and I was sure he would have an answer for Camryns mysterious ailment. After he examined her, read over her records and listened to my recount of her life so far, he left the room and came back with a copy of an article on "Sitting on Air Syndrome". Huh? I had told him about Camryns refusal to stand on her own,and I guess this "Sitting on Air" thing was the best he could come up with, even though it could explain NONE of her other delays. Basically the article talked about how researchers have found a small group of children who would lift their legs in the air when they were put down to stand. According to them, it was unexplainable but harmless and would eventaully correct itself. That's what I left his office with. A bad copy of "Sitting on Air Syndrome" and a bill for our copay. I would have rather he just said "I got nothing."
When she did finally take her first step I shouted with joy and I know my back threw a party. Yes! She did it, she's moving forward! So she's six months later than the books said she should be. She has torticollis, the therapist said this would happen. She'd be delayed at first, but eventually she would catch up and she was starting!! I was eager to see what skill she'd master next. Talking would be very nice. Maybe an interest in coloring? How about mimicking or playing with toys or ANYTHING NORMAL KIDS DO!
I waited for her to catch up, and eventually she was doing almost everything a typical two year old should be doing, only problem being by that time she was six.