This Ones For You Trish and Kelley

From now on whenever we all go out to eat as a family we will be dining exclusively in restaurants that have karaoke. Not because Brad and I do a mean rendition of  "I Got You Babe", although we do, but because apparently karaoke is to Camryn what Nintendo DS is to my other girls...completely and totally mesmerizing!
Last night was spirit night for Camp COAST at Mugs on Missouri in Clearwater. The owner "Abe" was kind enough to donate ten percent of all sales from four to eight p.m. to the camp, so of course all of us parents were trying to recruit as many hungry people as we could. I posted it on Facebook and two of my girlfriends from high school that I haven't seen in at least ten years signed on to go. These girls, Trish and Kelley, have been religious readers of my blog from the beginning and have even offered to babysit after reading about our struggles with Camryn and how it is hard to find someone to watch all three girls. They have followed our life for the past year through my posts and have "virtually" felt our pain as they read about Camryn's screaming fits in public, her aggression towards her sisters and other children and our hesitation to go out to restaurants with her as it can sometimes get very ugly. They have also read about what amazing girls Mason and Natalie are and how Autism is molding them into patient, caring, totally awesome girls. So when an opportunity came up to "reunite" after all these years and meet the girls they have been reading about for so long, plus help a great cause while doing it they were on board! Love them!!  Brad had to work so my mom came along with me to help in case it got crazy. When we arrived at Mugs the place was packed, which was great for the camp! As soon as we walked through the doors, I heard singing that, while very good, was definitely not coming from the radio. It was karaoke and one of Camryn's fellow campers was up there singing her heart out as if Randy Jackson were sitting in the crowd. This particular little girl has Aspergers and is very high functioning and if I hadn't known her from the previous years camp I would have never in a million years thought her to be on the spectrum. Music is amazing! We headed towards the back and I saw Kelley and Trish along with Trish's two girls, who are the same age as Mason and Camryn. It was so great to see them and I went over to give them a hug. Camryn was looking all around, as there was alot going on. Her teachers from camp were at an adjoining table and they called her over. Her mouth was kind of hanging open and she had this look on her face like " I know I know you but who are you?" I was thinking the same thing. When I would take Cams to camp her teachers were always in their camp t-shirts, hair pulled back, no make-up, but out of their camp clothes I hardly recognized them so I can only imagine what Cam was thinking. She went over and leaned into them as her way of giving a hug. It was so loud in there with the crowd and the karaoke and I was nervous about how Camryn was going to do.  Trish's girls, who I must say are completely adorable and so well mannered, were sitting at the table and once Camryn caught glimpse of them she headed towards them to "pet" them. I was only half a step behind because I could just see Trish driving all the way up to Mugs to support a camp for Camryn and then Cam drawing blood on one of her girls....it could totally happen. Trishs oldest daughter seemed to capture most of Cams interest, probably because she is blond and resembles Cams sisters. She started touching her hair and her face as my hand hovered above hers, ready to intervene if needed. And Trish's daughter was so sweet and understanding of Camryn's special need to pet her hair and rub her cheek. I waited for the scratch or the pinch and....it never happened! Wanting to keep the evening going in that direction I directed Camryn towards a table next to Kelley and Trish. There were only four seats and five of us, so in an unprecedented move I allowed Mason, Nat AND Camryn to sit at one table and my mom and I sat at the table directly behind them. This has never happened as an adult must always be with Camryn when there are other kids around, but last night Cam was in a groove, a good groove and I decided just to let her go and see what happened. Now mind you, Trish and Kelley are sitting right next to us, their heads filled with all my blogs about Camryns public tantrums and random abuse of neighboring children and there is my daughter, sitting calmly in her chair, eyes fixated on the karaoke stage, not moving except for the occasional hand clap or snap-a-long to the music. I could see the confusion in Trish and Kelley's eyes. "Are you sure this is the same kid you blog about?" they both asked. "Yes, I promise this is so out of character!This never happens!! Never" I replied. My mom chimed in at that time backing up my story because she too, like me, was shocked at Cams calm demeanor. But you know, it just goes to show you that kids, special needs or not, are universally the same as far as behaving one way for their parents and another for the rest of the world, usually reserving the ugly stuff for mom and dad. The evening carried on, and Cams just kept sitting in her seat enjoying the very loud sound of the singers onstage. Trishs girls sang several songs and once Cam saw that they were going up she kept saying "She wants a turn. Wait your turn honey" which meant she wanted to sing up there too. Well, not really sing, just hold the microphone, but still she wanted to be on that stage. I wanted to wait until we were ready to walk out the door in case things got ugly on stage. Trish and Kelley headed out and the girls and my mom and I finished up our food. With the bill paid and my keys in hand I led Cam up to the stage and asked the deejay if she could talk into the microphone. You would have thought this guy would have gotten a clue from the whole Camp COAST autism spirit night that maybe, just maybe, some of his singers would be autistic. But no, instead of saying "Sure she can, here sweetie have at it" he looked at Camryn and said "What song do you want to sing?" Cam just looked at him with a blank stare, then fixated back on the mic...she wanted to hold that microphone. He asked her again and I told him she probably wasn't going to sing, she just wanted to hold it, but this dude was insistent she pick a song so finally he put on "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". He gave Camryn the microphone and looked at her in all seriousness and said "Okay don't start until I tell you when." I was totally rolling my eyes in my head thinking this guy just doesn't get it! So he counts her in and the music starts and........nothing. Camryn is just standing there, mic in hand as the crowd watches in anticipation. Okay, this is awkward....so since I was up there anyway I started singing hoping she might join in. She totally knows the song, in fact she knows every song that has ever played on the radio when she's been with me. But Cams does not sing on demand. She will belt out a verse or two when you least expect it, like between bites at the dinner table, or in her bed when you think she is asleep, but never, ever when you ask her to. So there she stood, up on the stage she so wanted to stand on, beloved mic in her hands just straing out at the crowd and tweaking in delight. Every now and then she would put her lips directly on the microphone (ewwww!!) and make a pphhh sound and then once before the song ended she shouted "Here we go!!" but that was it. The crowd laughed, I laughed and Cam smiled and tweaked at the response. She had a great time and that was all that mattered. On the drive home she kept saying "I slept good last night. Mommy slept good last night" which is her way of saying she is beat. Brad was home by the time we got back and I told him how Cam totally threw us under the bus with her stellar behavior at the restaurant. He laughed and couldn't believe it either! We decided that we would totally incorporate karaoke into our family nights out if it meant peace, which is so strange because when I think of peace karaoke is the farthest thing from my mind. But whatever, it works for Cams. And we all know that if it works for Cams it works for us 'cause if Cam's ain't happy ain't nobody happy and last night we all wore a smile!!