I'm pooped!!!

Okay....I know there is a reason for everything, but really what could be the reason for me having to clean up poop on a daily basis? What am I to learn from this? Not to be easily disgusted? Learned it! To have patience even in the "stickiest" of situations? Done! How to thoroughly disinfect a bedroom, hallway and bathroom while wearing nothing but a towel on my head? I'm a pro! So what else is left? Why is this continuing to happen? Uuuuuuggggghhhh!
Can you tell I am frustrated? Well I am!! And I apologize that so much of my blog lately has had to do with poop, but this is a blog about raising autism and often times potty issues come along with it, at least they do at our house! You all know how Cams loves to fill her panties up while I'm in the shower, and I'm on to her....I am sooooo on to her! Last Friday I knew I was going to have to shower while she was home so as soon as she got off the bus I led her to the bathroom, plopped her on the toilet and had her pee-pee as usual, but then I told her to try and "squeeze a toot out". She knows what this means and thought it was funny and to my surprise it worked! I heard her having gas and I knew surely some solids would be following. Oh my life!!! So sure enough she managed to squeeze out some poop. I jumped up and down, praised her, wiped her and put her in her room to play, feeling so relieved that I would be able to relax in the shower....or so I thought.
I was all lathered up, as I usually am when she starts her crap (pun totally intended!!) and I heard her yell "Poop!! Do you have poop on your finger honey?" Okay....I have been mad before in these poop situations, like really, really mad, but the "poop on the finger" thing was a whole new variable in a very old equation and I thought my head might explode right there in the shower! "Mommmmm!! Poop!! I have poop on my finger!! Wipes honey!" This time I didn't even bother rinsing off as I knew I'd be right back in. I grabbed a towel and stomped out of the bathroom. And there she was, leaning over her gate, her shorts and panties thrown in the hallway and her fingertips covered in poop. It wasn't a great deal of poop because thank God I had her go before or it could have been so much worse, but this was bad enough! It was a pasty consistency, which is good and bad. Good because it stays in one place and bad because it stays in one place. It was under her fingernails and on her knuckles and it was obvious that she really had to work to obtain this specimen, if you know what I mean. She totally did this just to get me out of the shower!!!! This girl is something else!!
I cleaned her up, told her I was "very, very sad!!!!!" with her, spanked her bottom, put her in the room and locked her door. I finished my shower listening to her scream and bang the door.
Saturday was a new day. Brad was home and the day was going well. About 3:00 I put Cam in her room while I helped Brad load a couch we were consigning into his truck. She had been outside all day playing so some alone time in her room was a good thing. She started screaming at her gate so I closed the door and locked it, which usually quiets her down. I went outside and loaded the couch. It took maybe ten minutes. When I came to let her out sure enough she had crapped her pants!!! Oh I wanted to scream, and I think maybe I did! Why, why, why, why, why, why, why!!!!! It was everywhere and to make it worse she was wearing a pair of my shoes. A very expensive pair that I picked up for a song at a sale. They are silver and slinky and hot looking shoes and I have worn them... okay I have never worn them, yet! But Cams likes to wear fancy shoes so I let her play in them. Well, not anymore because not only was there poop in her jean shorts and panties, down her leg, on her feet and the floor, it was also on my shoes!!! Noooooo!!!
Jean shorts and panties in the trash, but not the shoes, I would find a way to salvage them. I cleaned her up...again!! Spanked her and back in the room. Obviously it's not working, but what the hell else do I do?? I feel like I have tried everything!
That night we suffered temporary insanity as we sometimes do and decided to all go out to dinner. There are few restaurants we venture out to as a whole family unit. Applebees and Chilis are usually the only ones we set our circus down at, but this night they were both jam packed and waiting is not an option with Cammy. The only restaurant we could find that didn't have a line was the Ale House. It's not my favorite and we have never taken Camryn there, but we decided to take a gamble and really we should have just folded and gone home.
We are seated in a booth, Camryn, Mason in the middle, me on the end and Brad and Nat on the other side. Things are okay, the girls have their sprites and we are waiting for our nacho appetizer. The waitress is taking our meal order and then it happens....Camryn drops her drink. It's in a kid cup with a lid, but the lid popped off and drink and ice went all over the floor under the booth. It shouldn't be a problem though because Camryn's feet don't touch the ground and therefore are not getting wet. But Autistic children often have a big problem with spills and they want them cleaned up....NOW!!! And Cams is one of those kids.She starts screaming and freaking out and the waitress looks scared. She is very sweet though and offers to get a mop if it would help, but we decline, knowing that would be an even bigger ordeal. Changing booths would cause more of a scene so Mason, Cam and I switch seats with Brad and Nat and after a little commotion all is well for a moment. The nachos come and after about four bites Camryn drops the tiniest bit of something on her shirt. Well forget about it, that shirt has to come off, also NOW!!! She starts grabbing my hand saying "Help me please! Shirt off honey!" I am trying to distract her so she may forget about it, but who was I kidding? She's screaming and crying, grabbing at her shirt, trying to get it off. I took her by the hand, told Brad to get the food to go and the bill and fighting back tears, escorted my screaming child past the crowd of gawking patrons who had obviously never seen a child throw a tantrum before. I got Camryn out the door and she was screaming for Brad and Mason and Natalie. I lead her to the car and sat her in the seat, where she continued to scream and "growl", calling quite a bit of attention our way. I took her shirt off and then dove into my trunk praying that in one of the Goodwill bags I keep forgetting to drop off there will be a shirt for Cams. Thank God at the very bottom of one of the bags I found an old pajama top. I didn't care that it was sleepwear and in no way matched her bottoms, pulled it over her head and made a call to my Dad begging him to come get her. No luck, he was sitting down to dinner and nobody else was available. I stood at the car wondering what to do. I had told Brad to get the check, but I hated that we had to leave because of Camryn's behavior, robbing Mason and Natalie of dinner out with the family. I decided to go back in and try it again. I walked Camryn to the booth and we sat down. The food was still being prepared and boxed, so we munched on the nachos while we waited. Camryn was much calmer now, but it required our constantly maintaining her mood, careful not to let anything happen that might upset her. She loves tomatoes, so we kept picking them out of the nachos and handing them to her. I held her drink as she sipped so there would be no spilling or dripping. It was working, but eventually we ran out of tomatoes. When Cams finishes eating, she will shove her plate in your face and that is if you're lucky. Sometimes she will fling it....it's something we are working on. Well, that night was more of a flinging night and it started with a few coasters headed Brads way. He caught them, but then Cams picked up a glass. I intercepted that one but not before she grabbed a steak knife with her other hand and Brad grabbed her wrist and managed to get it away from her. I grabbed any plates within reach and wondered where in the hell was our waitress? The food finally came out, we paid and walked out the door. The hostess said "Have a good night! Come back and see us!"  and I said to Brad "Ummm, did this chick just get here?" At home, we passed out the styrofoam boxes of cold grilled cheese and soggy fries. Not quite the dinner we expected, but what are you gonna do?
Sunday morning, I awoke at 6:45 a.m. to the sound of "Wipes. I need the wipes honey!" I got up, started a pot of really strong coffee and went in for the clean up. And so another day began...another day of raising autism.