Not So Fast!

This past weekend Brad and I and the kids got up at an un-Godly hour on a Saturday to go take a look at other men's trash. Translation...we went garage-saling. I enjoy a bargain just as much as my thrifty peers, but I also enjoy my sleep and really nothing could be on sale so much that I need to sacrifice slumber for it. Well, I can think of a few things, but I've never seen a sale on willpower and sanity.
Mason is really into thrifting and with twenty five dollars of leftover report card money she couldn't wait to go treasure hunting, which is why we made the effort to go. On Saturdays she goes to drama class from ten to twelve, so we needed to get an early start so she would have ample time to "shop" before leaving for class. Once we got dressed, filled up with coffee and in the car, our eyelids began to stay open on their own. My mom joined us as she also loves a sale. And this wasn't just any garage sale. It was an annual event in a very trendy neighborhood and sixty houses were participating, so there was a good chance we would find something that peaked our interest. We brought the wagon for Miss Cam's and headed down the sidewalk. Right off the bat, Cam spotted something she had to have....playdoh! It was used, of course, but who cares? She grabbed it out of the container, opened it up and before I could ask how much it was she was rolling it between her hands. Twenty five cents later it was ours along with a five dollar drum she had to have. A few houses later Mason spied a large Ziploc bag full of plastic Disney dalmatians and a few Lion King figurines priced at a dollar. She handed the lady her money and became the proud owner of not quite 101 dalmatians. By this time Nat chimed in that she didn't have anything yet and sure enough at the next house she found a stuffed reindeer that she just couldn't live without. Another dollar transaction and it was her's...but only for a second before Camryn ripped it out of her hands. Nat started screaming and crying and Cam started screaming and pinching. And I don't even know why I am going into any of this because the point of this whole story is a woman at one of the houses asked me if Camryn was "a little slow". Yes...YES!! She asked me that!!! In front of Camryn!!!!!  Cams and I had gotten separated from the rest of the fam and so as we made our way back to everyone we stopped at a sale and that is when it happened. It took me by surprise because I don't think in the past eight years anybody has asked me if my daughter was slow. They have looked at her and me with stares and glares and on occasion sympathetic smiles. I have had people ask if she was autistic, which I took no offense in because she is! But slow? That is so 1980's! I was standing there looking at stuffed animals and that's when she let it fly. She was standing on her porch steps so she was looking down at us, how appropriate, when she motioned to Camryn and whispered (but not really) "Is she a little slow?" It took me a moment to process, must be where Cam gets it from. I looked up at her, squinting my eyes in the sun and said "What??" She pointed to Cams and said "Slow, is she a little slow?" By this time I realized she was asking because she knew the look well from seeing it in the mirror every morning. "She has Autism if that's what you mean" I replied. She then told me she asked because she had a nephew who was in "special ed" so she was just wondering. "Ohhhhhh yeah, ok well, bye!!" I said as we headed out down the sidewalk. I was so ticked, but then I realized I shouldn't be because obviously anybody who thinks it's okay to ask a mother if her child is slow has some problems themselves. And when it comes down to it, Camryn has been slow in many ways. She was slow to sit up, roll over, stand, walk, talk, still waiting for reading and writing, etc. so in a way saying she is "slow" is accurate. But it is also accurate to say somebody who is heavy is fat and somebody who is not pleasant to look at is ugly. Accurate, but also very hurtful. And one thing I have been made so aware  is that Camryn is hearing everything we say. The girl is a sponge, she retains it all but you reaaaaally have to squeeze to get it out. So for this woman to say that in front of her made me feel terrible! In this womans defense though, I am Camryn's mom and have spoken in front of her for years as if she were a rock. So I do not expect a stranger to be any less assuming of her mental capacity than I was. It just shocked me though to hear that people still associate silent with slow. One of my favorite sayings is "Just because they do not talk does not mean they have nothing to say!" It is so true for so many Autistic individuals and luckily Cammy is verbal, even if it is not in a conventional way.
After I left that woman, I realized that now more than ever I have to spread the word that Autism does not equal stupidity. Some of the most brilliant minds are housed in silent temples. I forget because I live it, that many people still know so little about Autism and I cannot help but feel it is my duty as Camryn's mom to help educate everyone I meet about it.
When we got home, the girls went out in the backyard to play in the sun. Nat brought her new reindeer out and as soon as Cam saw it she flew across the yard in hot pursuit of "Rudolph". I had to laugh at the notion that just hours earlier a woman had asked me if Camryn was slow. Looking at her chasing Natalie around, slow she was not! I decided that God forbid anybody ever ask me is my child is slow again I am going to look them in the eye and say " Her? Ha!No way! She can outrun both of her sisters!"