These past few weeks have been rough. For some reason I have noticed a change in Camryn's behavior that is not very becoming. Thinking it could have something to do with her medications, I lowered her dose to once a day, but was disappointed to see that it really made no difference. It also crossed my mind that maybe she is acting out because Brad is gone so much with work. I know it has definitely affected the other two girls and me as well, so why would it be so strange to think Camryn would be different. We recently had a situation at our plant that has demanded most of Brad's time, leaving me basically as a single mom Monday thru Friday. He leaves at 5:00 a.m. and gets home at 8:30 p.m when the kiddo's are already in bed. He is beat, I am beat and it's not a good situation for any family and most certainly for a family of autism. With our list of places we can go that are "Cam-friendly" being extremely short, the girls and I don't go out much as a group except for car rides and really, how fun is that? But with spring in the air and the weather just too beautiful to resist, I found myself teetering on the edge of reason when I was invited to join a friend and her kids for dinner at the beach.
It all started Friday afternoon. Natalie was invited to a play date at the home of twin girls in her class. It was so nice for her to be able to get out and experience normal play without screaming in the background or fear of being assaulted. When I dropped her off I had Mason and Camryn with me as well. I really did not want to bring Cam in because she had just gotten home from school and that is one of her worst times. But I didn't know the mom too well and I had never been to their home, so of course I wanted to come inside and talk to her for a minute before I left my baby there. The mother was so nice and very understanding of Camryn, who I was holding onto with a death grip. She was tweaking out of excitement and wanted so very badly to "give them nice touches" but there was no way in hell I was letting her lay a finger on Natalies friends. I held both of her hands tightly in mine and she wrestled with me the entire time I spoke with the mom, trying to escape my grasp. After a five minute conversation about what Natalie liked to eat and what time I would pick her up, I was literally drenched in sweat. Why does it have to be so hard?
On my way home, one of my best friends called to see about getting together with the kids that night at the beach. Her husband also works late, leaving her alone with the kids most nights. I reeeeaaaally wanted to do it. I hadn't been to the beach in a while and the air felt so good and the idea of sipping on sangria while the band played and the sun sank into the water made me high just thinking about it. But I also knew that while it would be beautiful and tasty, it wouldn't play out quite so smoothly in reality. Mace and Nat would be fine, as usual, but taking Camryn to a popular restaurant filled with small children was risky and letting her run free on a crowded beach? Downright dangerous! My gut said "Are you frickin crazy?" and my head answered with "Yes, she's frickin crazy!" but my spirit said "You need this, just go for it!" and my friend said "Come on, it will be fun!" so I did.
I picked Nat up from her playdate and intended on leaving Mace and Cam in the car while I ran up to get her. The mom came to the door and we were small talking about the girls when Mason bursts out of my car running and crying that Camryn hurt her. Then Camryn scrambles out, biting her hand and barreling towards Mason and Nat, Mason starts screaming for her to get away, Nat hides behind me and I make a mental note to throw this womans number away because she is never going to want to see us again. I got everyone calmed down and in the car, gave a weary smile at the woman as she waved goodbye and headed out to the beach, crazy as hell!
Camryn got into the glovebox five minutes down the road and somehow made it to where it would no longer close. She emptied all of its contents and threw them at me. When she got bored of that, she started pinching me. She is so big now that she can reach me even as I lean as far away from her as I can. I was scolding her but she just kept pinching and I thought to myself "Really Lord? Really?"
We get to beach and I see my girlfriend pull in with her kids. The first things out of their mouths were "Don't pinch me Camryn!" The girl has a reputation. We cross the street to the restaurant and it is packed! The wait was thirty minutes which may as well have been thirty days because I knew it was going to be long. We took the kids out on the beach while we waited. The restaurant is right on the gulf. It has outside seating on two decks, live entertainment and a fabulous view of the sunset, so needless to say it's popular. We were not the only ones waiting on the sand. There were kids everywhere! All sizes, ages, ethnicities. It didn't matter, as I've said before, Camryn is an equal opportunity offender. She will pinch and scratch just about anybody, so naturally I am scanning the crowd like a hawk on the lookout for prey, making sure no little ones are within Camryns reach. She is oblivious, loving the feel of the sand on her feet, running in circles laughing out loud. It was one of those fleeting moments of normality where for a few seconds she is just an eight year old girl and I love seeing her like that. But it didn't last long as she lunged for a kid passing by and I grabbed her hands.
There were seven in our party between my friend and our kids. The restuarant could not seat us all together, so the three big kids and Nat had their own table and Cam sat with us grownups two tables away. She did well during dinner, but I could tell she wanted to sit with her sisters. I couldn't let her though, she would hurt the other kids and whoever may have passed by. I felt bad, but I knew it had to be that way.
After dinner the kids wanted to go back on the beach, so we did. The sun was setting, the band was playing and the sangria had been oh so delicious! We ventured out onto the sand again and Cams broke free to run in circles. I ran with her, sure to keep others safe if they passed too close. I wanted to relax, but that is not an option when you are in public with Camryn. The other kids were having so much fun. They were racing each other, laughing and reminding me of my own childhood often playing on the beach at dusk. I pointed up at the crescent moon and had no sooner said "Look how beautiful" when I turned and saw another moon...Camryn's! There she was, in front of the crowd, butt naked! She had apparently gotten some water on her pants from a chair she sat on and so off with her clothes!!OMG! She handed me her underwear and shorts and I laughed out loud! "I have never seen the moon go from a sliver to full so fast in my life!" I joked with my friend. I shimmied her pants back on and she fought me every inch. We told the kids it was time to go and Mason shouted out the she wished Camryn hadn't come. She has had way too many outings cut short because of Camryn and I felt for her. However, this was no time for a heart to heart, so we herded everybody back to the car. As we said our goodbyes I told my friend let's do this again, next time less kids and more sangria! She agreed. We drove home and I called Brad to let him know we were on our way. "We stayed until the moon came out" I told him and Mason and I burst out laughing. After all, what else can you do?
Monday, April 11, 2011
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You have to laugh! I would never be able to get through the day to day without laughter.
ReplyDeleteToo funny, Eve!
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